Silver Linings
by delenagas-m
Summary: 170 year old vampire, Elena Gilbert has a theory about never reaching happiness. After breaking up with her human boyfriend Jace Cooper, she comes to the conclusion that humanity is just nasty and there's no silver lining. Can Damon Salvatore, a mysterious stranger she met at the Mystic Grill change her mind? One deal can change a life, but does Elena want to change hers?
1. You're Compelling

**A/N: Elena is 170 in this, so I guess it's an AU. I was inspired by the movie** _ **Silver Linings Playbook**_ **and the** _ **'I have a theory'**_ **speech in** _ **The Vow**_ **. That's it so...Happy Reading!**

 **Summary: Silver lining; A sign of hope or a bright prospect in a sea of darkness or a happy ending in a dull story. e.g. Every cloud has a silver lining. 170 year old vampire, Elena Gilbert has a theory about never reaching silver linings. After breaking up with her human boyfriend Jace Cooper, she comes to the conclusion that humanity is just nasty and there's no silver lining. Can Damon Salvatore, a mysterious stranger she met at the Mystic Grill change her mind? One deal can change a life, but does Elena want to change hers?**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or scenes from The Vampire Diaries, The Vow or Silver Linings Playbook, though I may use them.**

 **YOU'LL LOVE ME 'CAUSE I'M POSTING EVERY TUESDAY :)**

* * *

 _Dear diary,_

 _I have a theory. A theory about silver linings. What's a silver lining? A silver lining is a sign of hope, a bright prospect in a sea of darkness or a happy ending in a dull story. Hence, the saying; every cloud has a silver lining._

 _So what's my theory? First, I'll give you some background._

 _Humans have simple lives. They are born, they live and then they die. Eventually, — in their ninety or so years on this earth — they find 'the one' and they die with them, encapsulating their love in a tombstone with two names. That's not always how it plays out — it's more of a hypothetical. Basically, Everyone gets a silver lining to their dull and meaningless life._

 _Vampires are different. They are born human, they live human, they die human and then they live again — only they're dead. Every few years, vampires who have found ways to walk in the sun need to relocate in order to stay undetected. Every time they find 'the one', they move on without them. In short, there are infinite opportunities to unlock their silver lining, but they never seem to find 'the one' who accepts them for their living-dead form. No matter how many times they repeat the process, they can't find that person — their silver lining._

 _Mine was different. I found someone_ — _Jace Cooper. You could say he was a possible silver lining in a sky of grey. Oblivious to the fact that he was cheating on me, I thought he was 'the one' for me. We'd been together for two years, you'd think he'd learnt about commitment. Well, apparently he'd been sleeping with some whore named Candy the whole time. I know, what a douche. I caught him calling her baby on the phone. He lied and told me he was talking to his mother. I compelled him to tell me the truth and I found out everything. The point is, I thought I found my silver lining in Jace, but I hadn't. I never would — I missed it the first time._

 _My theory is that; humanity is just nasty and there's no silver lining. Vampires are a product of that. Each one of us has eternity to find 'the one' and we never do. It's a continuous cycle that misses the silver lining every time. The thing is, you have one shot to capture it — your human lifetime. If you miss it that time, the same mistakes you made the first — human — time repeat for the duration of your infinite years on the earth. Those who are lucky, find their one the first time, so when the cycle repeats they take their silver lining with them, escaping the endless cycle that would be their life if they had fucked it up in the beginning. I was unfortunate. I missed my one the first time. Every time I try to reach my silver lining, I'll end up miserable, wishing I caught it the first._

 _So, I'm fucked. I'd give anything for a do over, but that's not how it works. I've stopped trying. Now, I just have to spend eternity wishing I figured out the code of the universe at the beginning._

— _Elena_

* * *

Caroline and Bonnie dragged Elena to the Mystic Grill with them. They said she should _embrace being single and get out there to find a new man_. She wasn't in the mood...she wouldn't ever be in the mood. She missed her silver lining. What was the point? They insisted on waiting for her, but she told them she'd meet them there. That gave her more time to mope around and feel sorry for herself.

She wore black skinny jeans and a tight tank top. Her hair was out and she had left on her every day makeup she'd worn since the morning. She hadn't put any effort into her appearance tonight. To her, this was a girls night out, not a search for a new man. In fact, no night out would be a search for a new man anymore. That ship was sailed and it wasn't coming back. She was somewhat glad and somewhat upset by that. She liked feeling loved and to know she wouldn't get to feel that anymore hurt. But it also gave her stability and the guarantee that her heart wouldn't be crushed by another guy.

As she entered the Grill, her eyes scanned the room for her friends. Familiar faces always calmed her down. Finding them sitting at the bar taking shots, she waddled over to them awkwardly.

"Hey guys." She attempted a smile, trying to mask her true feelings. Once she had established her theory, she felt like dying. Like there was no point in living anymore. But she couldn't die. Well she could, but how pathetic is a vampire suicide?

"Hey 'Lena!" Caroline squealed. Her tone was deafening and it only made Elena feel a thousand times worse.

"You have, to try this." Bonnie giggled, handing Elena a shot.

"I need to drive tonight." She replied, placing the shot back on the bar table, her shaky hands revealing how nervous she was. She wasn't in the mood for anything, especially not shots. If she was going to numb her pain with alcohol, it wouldn't be tequila. What she was in the mood for was running home and crying herself to sleep as she watched _The Notebook_ alone, drowning herself in misery and held tears. Swallow the tears back often enough and they'll start feeling like acid dripping down your throat, and that's exactly what was happening. So she wanted to go home and let it all out onto her pillow. But she'd just got here. Meaning she was forced to hang on to her sanity for at least one hour before she left. And that risked a lecture from Caroline and mockery from Bonnie.

"Party pooper!" Caroline teased.

* * *

It had been forty minutes and Elena decided leaving was worth all the shit her friends would put her through. She didn't give a single _fuck_ anymore. She lifted her head out of her palms, the sweat from her hands melting the mascara off her eyelashes.

"I'm gonna head home." She sighed, hoping they'd spare her the false friendly concern.

"We just started!" They squealed in unison.

"Sorry."

"Elena." Caroline whined.

"I just want to sleep." She mumbled.

"Call if you change your mind!" Bonnie offered, rubbing Elena's arm in long oval patterns as she backed out of the bar.

"Bye." Elena called. She needed to get out of here. Sitting and watching people make out while she sat sober at a bar, was torture. Torture enough that she couldn't even come up with a decent excuse to feed Bonnie and Caroline.

She speed-walked out of the Grill, colliding with a solid chest and falling to the ground. She batted her lashes at the floor as she covered her already healing wound across her elbow. As she watched the skin reconnect, she sighed in thought. It was amazing watching skin heal and realising once again that she hadn't. The man coughed and offered her his hand and she was awoken from her trance. She accepted, dusting off her knees with her palms.

"Sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going." He apologised with a husky voice, picking up her purse.

She didn't answer him or apologise politely — like she should have — in return. She couldn't. Her body was physically stopping her from opening her mouth or moving. Her jaw was locked. He might have been the most attractive specimen she had seen in her 170 years on the earth. His piercing blue eyes made her heart thaw. His chiseled jawline sliced her in half. His structured cheekbones disorientated her breathing patterns. His smile faded her worries from her brain. His shirt outlined his defined figure, causing her to grow faint. She imagined how great her hands would look tugging his raven, black hair. And his breath made her body tremble with anticipation.

"Katherine?" He asked, gazing at her with his stunning baby blues as he handed her the purse. Her jaw unlocked when his bourbon breath impacted her rosy cheeks.

"Um...No, I'm Elena." She shook her head slowly, still struggling to break from her trance as she ogled his rigid figure.

"Oh, you...you just look...I'm sorry." He stuttered. "You just really remind me of someone."

"It's fine. Sorry fo-r you know...um bumping into you." She stuttered back, forcing her tongue to swallow.

"No problem." He smirked, awkwardly. She smiled in return, trying to hide her gawking by offering her hand. She couldn't help it. He was the perfect guy — though she didn't know anything about him, he seemed like the perfect guy. She wanted to be loved. No, she needed to be loved and when this flawless looking guy comes along, she can't help forgetting about Jace and her theory and focusing on this man's structured bones. That is, until she noticed Jace and his whore heading in her direction. Her silver linings analysis rushed back into her brain and she shivered at the thought. Even if this guy was her new _one_ , she'd never find her silver lining. It wouldn't work out.

"Kiss me." Elena begged. She wouldn't get her happiness, so why not have some fun?

"What? No." He stepped back. He was obviously confused and startled. Elena was never good at first impressions but this was the weirdest one she'd ever stimulated. She could just compel him to be agreeable, but she'd rather not. She hadn't eaten in a while so it probably wouldn't work anyway.

"My ex is walking this way with his new whore right now! Just kiss me!" She whisper-shouted, clenching her fists. She didn't know why it bothered her so much to see her Jace with a new girl. Maybe because she knew she'd never get her silver lining and they already had it.

"Woah passive aggressive much. Most girls would pay to touch my hand." He was extremely cocky which was actually kinda cute to Elena. But right now, she didn't have time for cute.

She cut him off with a deep kiss. Her eyes were closed but she could feel his confused face fade as he kissed her back. She'd never felt anything this strong in her entire life. Their souls connected and it felt more real than it ever did when Jace used to kiss her. He moved his hands to her face, cupping her cheeks and setting her skin ablaze. His touch sent electric jolts down her spine, causing her knees to grow weak. She could barely hold herself up. Her dream became reality as her hands travelled to his ravenous locks, pulling him deeper into their shared passion.

She wanted the feeling to last forever but her happiness was cut short. "Um...Elena? Is that you?" Jace asked, causing her to pull away from the mystery man. He ruined everything. But what did he ruin? Was she really going to submerse herself in what she thought love was and get hurt again? She couldn't. She'd been in love. It's painful, pointless and overrated. He actually helped her realise it wasn't real. It was just her mind playing figurative games with her heart yet again.

"Jace, hey. Didn't see you there!" She lied circling the man's back with her finger tips. "This is my...boyfriend..." She muttered. Shit. She didn't know his name.

"Damon." He finished, saving her from embarrassment.

He held out his hand to greet Jace. "I didn't realise you moved on so quickly." Jace frowned, shaking Damon's hand.

"Hah, thats funny, 'cause I didn't realise you were sleeping with this bimbo for the whole duration of our — obviously meaningless — two year relationship." She crooned sarcastically, shooting _fake tits_ a glare.

Jace glued his eyes to the floor, lost for words. "Well, we better get going. Nice to meet you." Damon diverted the conversation. "Jace. Jace's whore." He smiled widely as he took Elena's hand and led her to a small, late night café. She already liked Damon. A lot.

* * *

They sat across from each other. The building looked like it had been deserted. The only person there — other than Damon and Elena — was the waitress. Which reminded her, she hadn't fed all night and she was starving. She could go for a snack.

"What was that about?" He questioned, furrowing his perfect eyebrows.

"Okay, long story short, Jace and I had been together for two years. Last week I found out he had been with another girl the whole time and she knew I was involved. I was bored with my life and I wanted to have some fun, so I kissed you and said you were my boyfriend." She smiled. But she was lying. She knew she wouldn't get her silver lining but she couldn't help feeling more. She kissed him because she wanted to, not for fun. It was a happy coincidence that her backstabbing ex and his slut were walking towards them. She wouldn't have had an excuse to kiss Damon, especially because it contradicted her theory. Jace being there was her excuse. "Thanks for playing along by the way."

"So...the kiss didn't mean anything?" He asked. She wanted it to, but the reality was; it couldn't. She concluded that the feeling she felt when their lips met was nervousness. Nothing else. Love didn't exist anymore. Not to her, anyway. If it did, she would have found it by now. Jace was a wakeup call. But that didn't mean she didn't want love to exist. She wanted that more than anything and she still — after everything — couldn't help trying to prove herself wrong.

"Do you want it to?" She asked, regretfully. Her theory was a theory. It was her perspective on the cruel universe. But aside from that, she honestly wanted to be loved and he seemed like the perfect guy. Sure, everyone is flawed, but at the moment she could only see the surface. If she ever got to the roots maybe she'd change her mind. Besides, he had already proved to be better than Jace Cooper in every way.

"No. I was just wondering..." He coughed. She thought so. As if a hot, mystery guy would ever go for her. Elena _never been in a good relationship_ Gilbert. It would contradict the universe. She decided to compel him to help her piss off Jace, since she didn't have a chance at her silver lining anyway.

She grabbed his hand, and his eyes met hers. It was so hard not to lose concentration when gazing into his dreamy trance. "You're my boyfrien—"

"Nice try vamp girl." He interrupted, giggling.

"How did you know?" She hissed, flashing her teeth.

"I've used that trick countless times, because..." He waited for her to finish. She was incredibly slow today.

"...You're a vampire." She rolled her eyes.

"Ding, ding, ding!" He joked. Then her mind wandered again. Maybe it would be possible. She wouldn't outlive him, so why not try again? She missed it the first time, but that was with a human. It'd always been with a human. He was just like her. Wouldn't it be different? She wanted it to work, but the universe is the universe, no matter what the terms are.

She let a quiet giggle escape her lips. He simpered in self satisfaction. "So, Damon..."

"Salvatore." He finished. Italian, nice. "Elena..."

"Gilbert." She smiled, fiddling with her thumbs under the table.

"I have a proposal for you." He said, leaning forward.

"Which is..."

"I will be your fake boyfriend in front of whoever and whenever on one condition. You live with me and pretend to be my girlfriend in front of my brother and his girlfriend."

"Deal." She shrugged. What did she have to lose? If she couldn't grasp her silver lining, she could at least pretend to. Plus, she'd get to stare at the magnificent creature that is Damon Salvatore all day. "So, why do you need my help?"

"My brother, Stefan and his annoying bimbo girlfriend think I will never be in a serious relationship. I simply want to prove them wrong." He explained, raising his eyebrows. His brother was right, he never would. Not because he was incapable of it, but because the universe wouldn't allow him to. Nevertheless, she wanted entertainment and he could give it to her, so she'd play along with it.

"Stefan?" She asked herself.

"Yeah, why?"

"No reason." She scrunched her face. She'd heard the name Stefan before, she just didn't know where.

"I'll pick you up from your house tomorrow at ten." He grinned at her.

"How will you know where I live?"

"Who do you think is dropping you home?" He smirked, offering her his hand. Her cheeks flushed with colour again as she accepted his warm hand. "Oh, and you have to sleep in my bed."

* * *

 **A/N: So that was the first chapter! Review if you liked it :) I'll be posting every Tuesday, but keep in mind I'm based in Australia, so my Tuesday may be your Monday or Wednesday. Also, sorry if you live in USA because my spelling is based off the Australian spelling.**


	2. Quit Playing Games With My Heart

**So this is chapter 2! Enjoy, review, fav, and follow xx**

* * *

Elena woke up earlier than she usually did. Honestly, she just wanted to have have enough time to get herself looking hot for Damon's arrival. She knew that her silver lining was well out of reach by now, but she felt oddly drawn to him. Maybe it was his dark hair or his mysterious nature or his husky voice. Whatever it was, she wanted more of it, stat.

She stood in front of her mirror, checking herself out to make sure she looked perfect. She wore a denim mini skirt and a pink — very revealing — v-neck tee. Her hair was down and wavy, and the only makeup she wore was some lip gloss. She looked better all natural — or at least predominantly natural.

As she heard the doorbell ring, she adjusted her bra and flipped her hair. She sped downstairs and opened the door.

"Hey." She smiled, the rays from the sun reflecting off his baby blue hues, liquifying her insides. Could she keep this up? The facade? It wasn't impossible but it wasn't easy either. She didn't trust her heart not to fall for him. Any association with men was a risk but it was an even bigger one when the man she is in association with is the actual image of sex. His eyes were glassy and bluer than the ocean. They could drown her with one look. His lips were kissable to the point where her lips were blistering up not kissing them. His chest was damaging even when covered. Bare, she'd be batted and bruised. He was wrecking her insides. Crushing them with his aesthetic face. If his skin came in contact with hers today, she'd perish. He was even more beautiful in the light and she was losing it. She feared her heart. It was already palpitating and she was already caving in. If he got any closer she'd attack his soft lips with kisses and that'd be going against everything she believed in and the universe. He was making it so hard to keep composure. Maybe it was impossible to keep this up.

"You look...nice." He stuttered. She hoped it was a _you look hot_ nice, not a _you overdid it_ nice.

"Thanks." She blushed, glaring at the floor to mask her embarrassed state.

"Um, can you get someone to invite me in?"

"I live alone." She replied, giving him a _you can come in_ nod.

"Nice house." He smiled, ogling her rustic styled home. "Where are your bags?"

"Follow me." She answered, walking upstairs, Damon trailing behind. Once they reached her room, she immediately started to pick them up — she had packed three small bags. She felt the weight she was carrying become nothing within seconds. Damon took them from her sweaty palms. "What are you doing? I can carry them." She insisted. It's not like she wasn't strong enough to carry them — being a vampire and all. Maybe he was being polite? Either way, she was confused — she wasn't used to people doing nice things for her.

"You're my girlfriend, I'll take them for you." He smirked, plodding down the stairs. Luckily, he turned around because her cheeks — yet again — flushed with immense amounts of colour. His girlfriend? She kind of was — sort of — but hearing him say it flooded her with so many emotions. She was already starting to develop feelings for him and it had been less than 24 hours. It wasn't even what he said to her, it was the way his eyes widened when they looked at her, and the cheeky smirk he'd flash after every sentence, and the way his raven hair fell into place. Then she came back to reality. It wasn't real. He was, but this perfect person she saw in him wasn't. She didn't know anything about him. She wouldn't love him. The world prevented her from it. Or prevented the love that could have been from ever lasting. Because humanity is just nasty and there's no silver lining. She just had to let herself dream for a second.

She headed downstairs and locked up once she noticed he was already packing her bags in his car.

* * *

"How come I've never seen you before?" She asked, glaring at her hands as they fiddled with each other, trying to fill up the awkward space. She had finally broken the the silence — they'd been driving for eight extremely awkward minutes.

"What?" He questioned.

"Well, everybody knows everybody in Mystic Falls and I've never seen you before." She explained, looking at him this time.

"Oh, well if I'm not at home, I'm at the grill drinking bourbon with my friend Alaric, so." His eyebrows furrowed. She lost her breath every time he did that. She found herself inhaling discretely to bring it back into her lungs.

"I don't go to the grill much anymore." She shrugged. Elena turned her head to look out the window, letting her hair flow in the wind thanks to Damon's 1969 Chevy Camaro Convertible. She recognised it because she'd always wanted one. "So how old are you?"

"How old are you?" He smiled, doing that hot eyebrow thing.

"I asked you first."

"I'm 176. Turned at 24. 1864." He explained.

"I'm 170. Turned at 18. 1864" She smirked. She had a better chance with him now she knew that they were not that far apart in age. Wait. No she didn't. They missed each other the first time. "So—"

"Let me ask you a question."

"Fire away." She joked.

"How do you walk in the sun?" He asked with serious tone.

"How do you walk in the sun?" She grinned, attempting to do his eyebrow thing.

"I asked you first." He said, making her look like an idiot by furrowing his eyebrows perfectly. She blushed again, looking down to hide her face. Why can't she stop blushing. He was doing basic things that anyone could do but it got to her. It probably wouldn't with anyone else, but it did with him.

"My best friend is a witch. She made me a daylight ring." She admit as if it were a huge secret. If he was a vampire he'd know what witches were. She'd always kept this information sheltered — mainly because she'd always tried to keep her identity sheltered.

He flashed his ring. "So's mine." He wiggled his eyebrows again. She couldn't handle it anymore. If he didn't stop, she'd sooner give in.

"Stop doing that eye thing you do." She scowled, trying not to break her connection with his eyes — it would reveal weakness and she didn't want to appear weak. His icy blues were getting to her again.

"What eye thing?" He smirked, doing it again. He was driving her crazy. But then again, Jace never had that effect on her. Maybe she never really loved Jace. It was more of a safe relationship that might have led her to her silver lining, rather than a loving one. It turned out to be neither, but for her, that's what it was at the time.

* * *

They pulled up at Damon's huge house. After Elena finished gawking at the mansion in front of her, she noticed Damon was already getting her bags out of his car.

"You're such a slow sally." He teased. As he took her bags out of his car, his arms flexed, giving her an unsettling feeling. _'Wow'_ she thought. She found herself unable to speak, her mouth turning dry. She had to take a breath in appreciation for his muscles. She swallowed in the hope of regaining the moisture she lost when he started, but failed. He shot her a _what's wrong with you?_ glare and she arose from her weakness.

"A slow sally?" She questioned, licking her upper lip. "Never heard that one before."

"You'll get used to it. I nickname a lot — it's kind of my thing." He stated, pulling her last bag out. He was wrong. There were already so many things he had done that she labeled _his thing_. Some being, his eyebrow wiggle, his adorable 1000 watt smirks and his ability to make her tremble with one word. The nicknames were just another to add to her list.

"Anything else I should know about you?" She asked as he lugged the bags over to the front door.

"Lets leave the questions for the first date." He smiled, nodding his head towards the door. Elena took that as a hint to follow him. Before she let herself come up with another stupid response, the door opened.

"Brother. Random girl." A guy that looked around 17ish said.

"Elena. Damon's girlfriend." She quickly replied, offering the man her hand. "Stefan, right?" She asked as he took her hand and kissed it.

"I didn't know Damon had a girlfriend." He stated, surprised. Elena assumed he was Stefan, since he didn't answer her question.

"There are a lot of things you don't know about me, Steffy." Damon replied as he walked in, signalling Elena to follow. She stepped inside — they lived alone too, so she was able to pass. She took note of how beautiful the house was. It was olden style and rustic — much more than hers.

Damon started to take her things upstairs. She was about to follow, when Stefan stopped her. "How old are you, Elena?" Stefan questioned. He must have thought she was an innocent human Damon brought home to feed on.

"170." She smiled widely, congratulating herself on how much of a smart ass she was being.

"Wow, your house is huge." She confessed after Damon took her on a tour.

"This was our family's boarding house back in the 1800s." He replied. She stayed quiet, waiting for him to lead her to the one room he hadn't yet; his bedroom. "And this, is my bedroom." He smirked. As she walked in, all she could do was stare and gawk and think about how small her room was. It was so big and beautiful. His bed was massive. His bathroom was massive. Everything was just so massive.

As she looked around she noticed something odd. "Where's the bathroom door?" She questioned.

"There isn't one." He huffed as he set her bags down.

"So..." She tried to change the topic.

"I'll leave you to unpack. Don't be too long. We're going to the grill with Stefan and his girlfriend." He grinned, strolling towards the door.

"Okay, I'll get changed." She returned. He halted and turned to her.

"And...wear something hot." He simpered as he backed out of the room, doing that eyebrow thing she told him not to do. Then she pondered; was what she was wearing not hot?

* * *

Elena perched at the stairs. She was nervous to go down and it wasn't even for a good reason. He said; _wear something hot._ She wasn't sure if what she was wearing is what he would call _hot_. Things like this shouldn't even bother her. It wasn't like she needed to impress him — they'd never be together anyway. But something about him made her nervous. She wanted to look good for him. It was her main goal at the moment and it definitely shouldn't be.

Remembering her theory, she pulled herself together and walked down the stairs in a white — extremely short — strapless dress with white sandal heels. Her hair was in loose curls and she had again applied neutral makeup.

As she reached the bottom of the stairs, she heard Damon and Stefan talking in the parlour. She strode over. They must have heard her heels on the wooden floors because by the time she got to the room they had stopped.

"Hey, are you ready?" Damon asked, taking her hand. All of a sudden Elena's theory slipped from her brain — like it had been completely erased. All her thoughts had been erased. His hand connected to hers felt like they were meant to be together. Her hands were like puzzles. His fingers were the missing pieces. She'd searched for them everywhere and they were here all along. Chills immediately ran from her fingertips to her spine, spreading across her whole body. This probably didn't mean anything to him. Her amnesia faded and she quickly recovered her thoughts. She couldn't be so naïve over a single touch of his hand.

She nodded, as they treaded towards the front door. "Where's your girlfriend, Stefan?" She asked, trying to distract herself from Damon's warm hand. She wanted him to be there. It wasn't like it meant anything. She just needed to learn how to compose herself and act normal.

"She's meeting us there." Stefan answered, uninterested in talking to her. "You and Damon can ride together, I'll ride in my car." He expanded. Just great! She couldn't control herself around Damon when someone was with them, let alone by themselves.

Stefan left the threshold first. As Elena let go of Damon's hand, intending to follow Stefan out the door, Damon gripped her dewy palm again. He pulled her inside so that her back was pressed against the front of his body. She felt his boner poking at her ass. Was it her that did this to him?

Damon grabbed her ass causing her squeal. He leaned over her shoulder, pressing his lips against her ear. "You look hot." He whispered. She felt his bourbon breath hit her quivering flesh and the same chills that took control of her body less that five minutes before, travelled down her spine again. He kissed her cheek as he released her ass, brushing past her as he headed towards his Camaro. Why did this affect her? She knew there was no possibility of Damon Salvatore being her silver lining — or at least she thought there wasn't. How could he be? She wasn't a lucky one. She didn't capture her _one_ the first time, and by the looks of it, neither did he. But was there a chance? A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel? A reason to fight? Was there a chance he may change her mind? Or were they what they'd always be? Ashes and wine.

* * *

Damon, Elena and Stefan sat in a booth at the Grill. They waited for Stefan's girlfriend.

"Is she always late?" She whispered to Damon, forgetting that Stefan was a vampire too.

"No." Stefan answered. Elena glared at the bare table, inwardly giggling how awkward that was.

"So, how old are you, Stefan?" She asked, trying to shake the awkward atmosphere.

"I'm 169." He shot back restlessly, as if he didn't want to be there. As if he didn't want to be there with her specifically. Maybe she was being paranoid, but she really wanted Stefan to like her. There was no reason for her to want that, but she felt she needed his approval to fake date his brother.

"Here comes Blondie." Damon joked, rolling his eyes. A girl walks over to the table, and Stefan gives her a peck on the lips. Blondie was Caroline? That's why they worked out. Caroline was a new vampire, and this was her first relationship. She was a lucky one. Elena envied her for that. Elena loved her friend, but Caroline had what she'd had always wanted — a silver lining.

"Care?" Elena asked. "Your Stefan's girlfriend?" Caroline always talked about her boyfriend that Elena was never bothered to meet. Elena knew she'd heard his name somewhere.

"Yeah, the one I talk about all the time...why are you dating Damon?!" Caroline shout-whispered.

"I'm right here." Damon interrupted. What was so bad about dating Damon? — or fake dating him? Was he a player? Maybe he figured it out too, and played girls to pass the time. Now she was making assumptions.

"Because he asked me out..." She trailed, standing up to give Caroline a hug. As Elena bent over the table, she felt Damon's eyes glued to her body. Her dress was extremely short and she was sure he saw more than he should have. It didn't help that she was wearing a thong. She shook her thoughts off and decided it was her turn to tease.

"Wait...how do you know each other?" Stefan asked.

"Caroline is my best friend." Elena smiled. Caroline was annoying and controlling and judgemental but Damon made her out to be a bitch and it looked like Care wasn't very fond of Damon either. Stefan relaxed and smiled at that news. Elena definitely earned his approval now.

"Your witch best friend?" Damon questioned, as if she was lying about the daylight ring thing — he knew Caroline was a vampire.

"No, that's my other best friend Bonnie." Elena explained.

"Your best friend's name is Bonnie?" He asked, surprised.

"Yeah, so?"

"That's my witch best friend's name." Damon smirked. "I guess Bon Bon gets around." He joked. They both call her Bon Bon? Maybe they have more in common than she initially thought.

"I guess she does." Elena grinned. It was time to tease Damon more — he got her good back at the house. She placed her elbow on the table and knocked over her cocktail. It spilled all over Damon's pants and he now had a huge wet patch on his crotch. "I'm such a klutz." She gasped falsely, taking some napkins off the table. "Here." She frowned — smiling inwardly. She leaned over, exposing her cleavage to Damon, and started to dab his crotch. Damon swallowed hard as she traced his dick with the paper towels. Not only was she touching him over his jeans, but she had her boobs in his face. He felt himself growing and he groaned. Elena felt his hard on and smirked as she palmed it, drying the wet area.

"Um..." Caroline shot Stefan a confused look. They couldn't see under the table, but they were sure something was going on due to Damon's occasional moans and groans.

"I think it's dr-y." Damon stuttered, gnawing on his lower lip. Elena smiled to herself, sitting up.

* * *

After half an hour of chatting, Damon was getting restless. He was obviously bored and honestly, so was Elena. She already knew everything about Care, Stefan basically said nothing, and she was supposed to know everything about Damon.

She started to zone out until she felt a pair of cold hands trace her left leg. Damon was teasing her again. His gentle hand traveled up her thigh, edging closer to her panties. As he moved his finger to the edge of her thong, she kicked his leg with her heels, causing him to grunt. "Are you okay?" Stefan asked Damon as he moved his hands away from her legs.

"Yeah." He smirked at her, doing that eye thing again as he sipped his bourbon. Elena sighed in thought _. 'Damon Salvatore, quit playing games with my heart'._

* * *

 **Please review guys :) See you next Tuesday xx**


	3. Big Boys Don't Cry

**So this is chapter 3! Hope you're into it! Enjoy, review, fav, and follow xx**

* * *

 _Dear diary,_

 _I'm obsessed with Damon Salvatore. I only met him a week ago, but it's everything about him. His humor, his devilish smirk, his raven locks, his cheeky eyebrow movements, his crystal hues. If I continued to list, this would be the longest diary entry I have ever written and frankly, I don't want to use up all my pages describing him._

 _Because at the same time, my theory still stands. Humanity is just nasty and there's no silver lining. It's been proven to me in every way it can. Then, all of a sudden this guy comes along and makes me question myself and I might be wrong. But can I really let myself believe that this time will be different when the truth has continually hit me in the face?_

 _I can't. But I can still like him. I can pretend to be with him and mask my crush with the acting. I just need to remember that I've missed my silver lining, so when it doesn't work out, my world doesn't come crashing down like last time._

— _Elena._

* * *

Elena woke up to an empty bed. Damon had woken up before her. She checked the time. 11:30am?! How did she sleep in so late? His bed was really comfy. As she walked over to the window to close the blinds, she saw a note from Damon.

 _Morning Sleepyhead — or afternoon,_

 _You probably got up late. Get dressed and meet me at the centre of town at 1pm. And before you go back to sleep, I've got food._

— _D_

Elena was so tired. What could have been so important that she needed to go out? At least he had food.

* * *

Elena pulled up at the centre of town and called Damon.

 _"Up here."_ He echoed. She looked up to see a smirking Damon sitting on the clock tower. She couldn't help but smile.

 _"You dragged me to the clock tower, when I could have been sleeping?"_ She asked, rolling her eyes. She'd been to the Mystic Falls clock tower at least one hundred times over.

 _"How about that first date?"_ He smiled through the phone. She hung up and jumped up with her vamp strength. "Sit." He said, patting the tiny space next to him — small enough that their arms would be hugging each other. She reluctantly joined him, knowing it would be hard to keep her feelings under control.

"So...why the clock tower?" She asked, although it was beautiful from up here. Jace had never taken her here. Sure it was a weird place for a _date_ , but Jace had never thought of anything other than the movies or a restaurant. It was nice up here and she liked different.

"It's quiet, comfy, and...we can see the whole of Mystic Falls while we eat." He listed, pulling two beers, burgers and fries out from behind him.

"You brought the disgusting food of the Mystic Grill?" She laughed, chugging down some fries. She hadn't had breakfast and she was starving. Blood would have been nice, but the food would hold her out for a while.

"Mm..." He mumbled, taking a bite of his burger. There she went again. He was agonisingly hot when he ate. She needed to distract herself, so she grabbed her burger and started to take out the pickles. "What? You don't like pickles? What's wrong with you?" He asked, scoffing them down.

"Note to self; Damon likes pickles." She giggled.

"What do you like?" He chewed. Elena had always been turned off by loud lip smacking, but he did it so well. He did everything so well. She didn't mind that he didn't have manners. It was cute, and neither did she really. _You,_ she felt like saying. But that would be giving in and she promised herself she wouldn't.

"Um...well I like fries and any other fast food."

"Such a healthy one." He joked.

"Hey, I'm not that unhealthy...I love...eggplant." She stuttered. It took her a while to think of something healthy that she liked. She did love eggplant though.

"You're an eggplant girl, huh?" He asked, intrigued.

"Is that bad?" She questioned. Maybe he didn't. "You don't like eggplant." She assumed.

"Love it. Just taking notes. Mental notes." He stated confidently, furrowing his brows. She kept assuming the worst was going to happen — not that him hating eggplant was the worst — but really, nothing had gone wrong yet. She was trying to find things that they didn't agree on so it wouldn't be so hard to not fall in love with him. At least they had the pickles thing, right?

"For what? Our second date?"

"Maybe..." He trailed, finishing his burger.

"So...what's the purpose of this? We're not really dating." She asked, wanting to go home — to Damon's house — and sleep in his huge Damon scented bed. She loved being with him, but she wanted to go to sleep.

"Well, if we want to act like were dating," He started, wiping the burger sauce of Elena's lips with his thumb. "we need to know at least the basics about each other." He smiled sincerely, licking the sauce off his finger. "So...describe yourself."

"...Okay. My name is Elena Gilbert. Born June 22. Died in a car crash. 5'6". Been to high school and just recently finished college at Whitmore — I know, it's late, considering. Volunteer at Whitmore hospital. Former Cheerleader. Been in several shitty, short relationships and the last one was Jace — my longest yet." She explained, discretely scraping the drool off her chin before he could wipe that too. "Your turn."

"My name is Damon Giuseppe Salvatore." He simpered with mockery. "Born June 18. Died from being shot by my father. 5'9½". Done college. Haven't done high school. Never volunteered for anything since 1864 when I was a soldier in the civil war. Drinking buddy. Protector of Mystic Falls. Been in one real relationship — which by the way, the girl, Katherine, looked exactly like you. Don't ask why. I looked it up. You're her doppelgänger or something." He rambled, copying the same structure she described herself in. She listened to it all but she was stuck on _Katherine_. Didn't he call her that when they first met? Was Damon using her to replace _Katherine_? If he was, why would he tell her?

"So, _Katheri_ —"

"Really? That's all you got from that elaborate description of yours truly?" He chuckled, scrunching those perfect eyebrows.

"Come on." She joked, nudging him. "You know what happened with Jace. What happened between you and _Katherine_?"

"It's a long story."

"People who say its a long story, mean it's a stupid short one that they are too embarrassed and couldn't be bothered to tell." She blurted out, not realising how awful it sounded out loud. She'd used that phrase on everyone, but he was different. She could tell this was a sensitive topic and now he probably wouldn't tell her. "And...I have time." She bit her lip in embarrassment, stroking his arm in apology.

"Where do you want to start?" He gulped, ignoring the rude comment she made as he gazed at her with those soft baby blues.

"From the beginning."

* * *

"Three words." She said, after he explained _Katherine_ from the beginning. "What. A. Bitch."

"You're telling me." He replied, mustering up a bent smile. She pondered the amount of times salty liquid seared his bottom eyelids — it was near twenty by the end. They'd strain on his eyelash line, pushing him to let go. He never did, though. She could gather the clues from the short time he'd been talking to her. He was trying to appear masculine, strong, fearless and many other impossible human qualities. But that wasn't him — he was a vampire and he'd been through way to much to gain those qualities. She already knew that. He was all three on the outside, but he had layers of qualities, and she just found the deepest one; _hurt_. It only appeared in the roots of him, and she'd dug so deep. She got through 170 or so years of hurt in one sitting. _Katherine_ was his first and only cycle. He had never tried to replace her. She could tell he hadn't figured it out yet. If he had, he probably would have killed himself by now. Hell, she was broken too, but she wasn't nearly as bad as him. Whether he knew it or not, they were very similar. They were both unlucky. But can two unlucky hearts cheat the system? Either way, she wanted to be the one to fix his heart. It was broken and batted and bruised. _Katherine_ ripped it out, stepped on it, put it back in and ripped it out again. Elena felt like she owed it to him to fix it, whether she got her silver lining or not.

"I can't believe I look like that whore." She laughed, trying to cheer him up.

"You know, when I first saw you, I thought you were her and when I found out you weren't, I only stuck around because you looked like her. I needed to know why and who you were. Now I know you're nothing like her. You have all the qualities she's not and I aspire to be. She's selfish, heartless and manipulative. You're anything but." He compared them, gazing at Elena with trust and adoration. Their bodies were so close that he could feel her body rush with warmth. She felt her cheeks flush blood red and her heart falter. As he noticed her cheek colour, an adorable smirk grew on his face. He wanted to kiss her there, but when she shook her head in thought, he decided against it. They were supposed to be faking it and he couldn't risk getting hurt again either. "I'll always be the second choice." She heard him whisper. She decided to pretend she didn't hear it — it sounded like he didn't want her to.

Then she thought about how to reply to his compliment. If Elena replied with a _thank you,_ it would become really awkward because he would see that she liked him and she wanted to sweep that under the rug. "...you wanna go home?" She asked. _Fuck_ , she sounded stupid. He had just told her that she was nothing like that heartless bitch he dated and that he aspires to be like her and she replied with; _you wanna go home?_

"Sure." He smiled. He noticed the paper bags and food wrappers on the ledge of the tower. "I'll pack these up. See you at the bottom?" He offered.

"Sure." She grinned, jumping down.

* * *

Elena stood at the bottom of the clock tower against the wall. She felt a pair of cool hands on her waist and she turned around, assuming it was Damon.

"Jace?"

"You look hot, 'Lena." Jace whispered pushing her against the wall, his hands starting to explore her body.

"Damon!" She screamed with all the energy she had left. She hadn't drank any blood for over forty eight hours so she wasn't strong enough to push him off. Jace was already an asshole but this was too far. He knew she wasn't easy and he definitely knew she wasn't interested in him anymore.

"Shh." He hissed, covering her mouth. She tried to scream through his hands but it only drained the last of her energy.

Damon jumped down from the clock tower and held Jace against the wall by the neck. "If you ever touch her again, I will rip you into tiny little pieces and feed you to that slut you chose over Elena." Damon spat, tightening his grip on Jace's neck.

"Damon, let him go." She sighed, not caring if he decided not to.

Damon released his neck and compelled him to go see his bitch. "You okay, Buffy?" He asked. He was concerned and it made her feel special — like she was the only thing that mattered to him. But she couldn't matter to him.

"Yeah." She smiled, weakly. She needed blood.

"Good." He smirked as he hugged her. His warm embrace made her feel safe and his bourbon and rain scented clothes made her hunger for his skin. If she could, she would smell his clothes all day. "Let's go home and get you some blood."

As they walked to his car — Damon's muscly arm wrapped around her — he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. Her heart skipped 1000 beats and she collapsed, losing control of her thoughts again. He caught her before her limp body hit the ground and swept her up into his arms.

"Maybe you need that blood sooner." He smirked softly, holding her close to his heart as she rested her head in his shoulder. Did he care about her? Maybe she's not just the _fake girlfriend_ to him. Maybe she's more. But she couldn't be and she shouldn't feel that way. She was going to help him mend his heart and she was going leave, because she couldn't risk getting close to him and she was indefinite about his intentions. She was definite about one thing; it didn't help that he caught her in his burly arms and was holding he against his pecks. The biggest thing she feared was his love. Or the absence of his love after she'd got a taste. Right now, her biggest fear was staying in his embrace. She'd rather fall to the ground, but she was falling into something else; love.

* * *

As they arrived at the house, Damon pulled Elena aside and filled her in on his plan. "Stefan and Caroline are here, so when we walk in we'll be holding hands. When they ask where we went and how it was, I'll tell them we fed and it was really fun and then you'll kiss me." He explained.

"Who knew you were so truthful?" She joked, sarcastically. She felt much better after Damon stole her a feed from the side of the road.

"Hey, the fun part is true." He defended. She was blushing again. She had so much fun with him and to know he had some too, gave her a warm feeling that was entirely new to her.

"...Shall we?" She asked shyly, changing the subject and avoiding the conversation where she would explain why she was blushing for the billionth time.

Damon took her hand, causing her to jolt as they walked in. "Hey." Elena greeted Caroline and Stefan with a smile.

"Where did you two go all day?" Stefan asked.

"We went feeding. It was really fun." Damon answered with a smug look. It was her turn. She turned his head and gave him a short kiss, only pulling away because she was smiling so much. When their lips met she was truly happy and she hadn't been even moderately happy for the majority of her life. She wanted to keep kissing him, but if she did, she'd fall deeper into his hypnotic trance and when reality hit and the cycle restarted, she'd be left alone — wondering why she followed her heart and not her brain. Plus, she'd known the guy for a week.

"What did you guys do?" Elena added.

"We just hung here." Care answered.

"Wow, what a fun day. Care Bear got to watch the infamous Stefan Salvatore shape his hero hair and brood all day." Damon commented, shifting his eyebrows cheekily. Elena let an almost silent giggle escape her narrow lips. She couldn't help it, he was just so adorable.

"Oh, you know me." Stefan replied, sarcastically. Damon was right, Stefan always seemed irritated. But if Care was happy, Elena was happy.

"Well we're going upstairs. See you later." She smiled, leading Damon upstairs with her. Elena never dared disconnecting their hands. Once they were disconnected she couldn't reconnect them until they saw Stefan and Caroline again, and she didn't want to lose the warmth.

* * *

Damon let her get changed into something comfy first. After she'd finished, she waited outside for him to change. She wouldn't have minded watching him get undressed, provided he didn't put more clothes on afterwards. Actually, no. The clothes needed to come back on.

After five minutes, Elena decided he would be done. She opened the door to see Damon laying on the bed. She joined him. The only sound she could hear for what felt like forever was the sound of him breathing. His heavy breaths gave her comfort. She didn't know why, but hearing him breathe made her feel safe. Probably because as long as he was breathing she knew he would protect her, and she loved that about him.

"Damon?" She broke the silence.

"Yes?" He replied, turning to his side to look at her.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" He asked, not knowing what she had done to earn him an apology. He was right to wonder. She hadn't done anything — at least not that she knew of.

"About Katherine. You deserve better than her. You should be with someone who loves you more than you thought you loved her. People who deserve happiness, don't always find it, but you won't be everyone's second choice. When the right girl comes along, you'll be her first choice. I promise." She reassured him. She picked her words carefully. She was implying that she was someone who would treat him the way he deserves to be treated for the rest of her cycle. That she would care for him if he allowed her to. That she would put him first and fix him. Now he sounded like her project, but she didn't really think that was fair either. Okay, so he was a way to occupy her. No, that sounded bad too. Whatever he was, it wasn't and couldn't be more than friendship. He was a _friend_. God, that word hurt her. It stabbed her like a wooded stake. _Friend_ was the word that kept her from touching him like that and looking at him the way she did. But he was. And he always would be; a _friend_. She was helping a _friend_.

"There's only s-so much hurt a man can take. Don't make promises you can't keep." He sobbed quietly, his dreamy eyes turning teary and into a deep void of brokenness. "I'm never anyone's first choice."

"You're mine." She let the words she was terrified to say escape her narrow lips. Before he could say; _you're mine too,_ or kiss her or tell her that he didn't have nearly as much feelings towards her as she does him, she decided she wasn't ready to know and she never would be. Because she was helping him. Not pledging she'd love him. Being someone's first choice doesn't mean they'd be together, right? It meant that if she was to perhaps be with someone — which she wouldn't — it would be him. "Goodnight." She smiled before turning around, pretending to go to sleep as his lips hesitated to close. He didn't know it, but her eyes stayed open for another four hours.

* * *

 **See you next Tuesday! xx**


	4. It Started At Georgia's

**A/N: this chapter includes scenes from 2 episodes of The Vampire Diaries. Mostly from 1x11. I did change the scenario quite a bit, but a lot of the lines aren't mine. Lol, this chapter is a bit short but I didn't know what else to write.**

 **WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS A LITTLE CLICHÉ**

* * *

Elena woke up with her head pounding. She was uncomfortable and sitting up. Her head was leaning against a window and her vision was blurry. When her eyes adjusted, she saw nothing but road. She was in a car. She turned her head to see Damon driving.

"Morning."

"Where are we?" She asked. Did he carry her?

"Georgia." He smirked.

"Georgia? No. No. No we're not, Damon. Seriously, where are we?" She raised a brow, licking her dry lips as she adjusted in her seat.

"Seriously, we're...we're in Georgia." He nodded. "How you feeling?"

"Fine." She lied. She felt horrible. "Pull over. I'm serious, Damon. Pull over now." She demanded, impatiently. He took her to Georgia without asking, of course she'd be defensive. Elena would have gone anywhere with Damon but he didn't have to carry her to his car. She would have agreeably gone. Then again, a _road trip_ meant they'd be alone. That was the worst outcome possible. She'd rather go with Caroline and Stefan to be safe.

"Oh, you were so much more fun when you were asleep." He rolled his eyes, pulling over. She immediately opened the door and stepped out of his car, stretching her lanky arms. Damon saw that she was weak. He sped to her side of the car and helped her stand up.

"I'm fine." She assured him as he let go of her. She wasn't really. She wanted his arm there. It was like it belonged on hers — that puzzle piece finding its way back. But was she really going to act like she couldn't hold herself up? No. She wanted to be strong for him, because she was the one who was supposed to help him. "We have to go back."

"Come on, we've come this far." He tried to convince her. She was already convinced. She just didn't want to seem like she was desperate to get away with him. Plus, if she argued a bit, she would be sticking to the code she set herself; don't get attached. She had to prove not only to him, but herself that she didn't need to agree with him.

"I can't be in Georgia! This is kidnapping." She complained.

"That's a little melodramatic, don't you think?" He smirked, doing that eye thing. She bit back a smile.

"You're not funny." She lied. She felt like laughing and it actually hurt to stop herself from blushing. "You can't do this. I'm not going to Georgia."

"Oh, you're in Georgia." He answered. "We're almost there."

"Where is there?" She questioned, impatiently.

"A little place right outside of Atlanta. Come on, Elena. You don't want to go back right now, do you?" That was true. She would rather be here with Damon. "What's the rush? Time out. Trust me. Everyone is still going to be there when you get home." She still hadn't said anything — she knew he was right. "Look, step away from your life for five minutes. Five minutes."

"Ugh...am I gonna be safe with you?" She asked, knowing the answer.

"Yes."

"Can I trust you?"

"Get in the car." He said, nodding his head towards the convertible. "Come on." He finished, hopping in the car. She finally agreed and joined him, knowing that as soon as she sat in that car, she'd risk falling for him again. Aside from her thoughts; what was there to risk? She believed there was a lot. In reality there was nothing. Because she'd already succumbed to the risk yesterday, when he held her in his arms. She just made herself believe she hadn't.

* * *

"Where are we?" She asked as he pulled up at a hotel in the middle of nowhere.

"We're staying here for the night." He stated, parking his car.

"You drove me to Georgia to stay in a hotel for one night?" She asked, rolling her eyes. Georgia was pretty far and he drove all the way here from Virginia for a night. Was Damon really that farfetched?

"That's for me to know and you to...Dot. Dot. Dot." He grinned, putting emphasis on the _'Dot. Dot. Dot'_ as he opened her door for her.

He led Elena inside and they checked into their room. As they walked in, her eyes dilated once they noticed there was only one single bed. "There's only one bed." She stated, even though it was probably his idea to book a room with one — single — bed.

"I'll take the floor." He offered. Maybe he didn't know? She felt shitty about him sleeping on the floor, but she just nodded and smiled. She didn't want it to be more awkward than it already was.

"You wanna go to the bar?" He asked.

"Sure."

* * *

"That's three!" Elena teased, as she downed another shot, dancing in her chair. "D'you need a bib?"

"Sorry I can't unhinge my jaw like a snake to consume alcohol." Damon laughed, wiping his lips with the side of his hand.

"Shut up! You drink bourbon by the bottle." She argued. In the short week she'd known him, she noticed his love for bourbon. Not only did he drink near one bottle a night, but his clothes, bed and everything else he owned smelt like bourbon.

"Whatever..." He smiled adorably at the fact that she noticed something about him, glancing down at the bar bench. Granted, the thing she noticed was an obvious habit of his, he still blushed at the thought that she payed attention to him. The fact that she even thought about him enough to remember something so small about him made him blush.

"Another round?"

"Honey, you should be on the floor." A woman next to her slurred.

"I am not even drunk! My tolerance is like way up here!" Elena scrunched her face, stretching her hands as high as she possibly could while jumping.

"Okay, I think it's time we go back to the room." Damon suggested. He had hardly drunk a glass of bourbon and he wasn't an easy drunk anyway. Elena on the other hand, had three shots and was smashed.

"Nooooooooo!" She whined, shaking her head rapidly as he placed his warm hand on her lower thigh. Usually that would have sent at least thirty short and deadly jolts from her thighs to the rest of her weak body, but drunk Elena felt nothing. No emotions. It was great in the sense that her knees wouldn't grow weak every time he tensed his arms or his jaw clenched, but annoying in the sense that she wouldn't be afraid to admit any feelings she had.

"Come on." He hopped off his chair and picked her up like a groom picks up his bride at a wedding. She didn't struggle. She just let him carry her as she bat her lashes at his neck. He made her feel so beautiful.

* * *

Damon pushed open the door, still carrying her. As he lay Elena gently down on the bed, she smirked drunkly. Before he set up his sheets on the floor, he took off his clothes until he was only in his boxers. As his shirt came off, he caught her watching him intently. Her dilated pupils were glued to his torso and she didn't know it, but her tongue was running over her lower lip. He quickly turned to hide his blushing face. She hadn't seen him embarrassed before. Usually he was proud of his body but when she looked at him, she made him so nervous. He quickly peeled off his blue jeans and tossed them across the room. She gulped as the veins on his arms pulsed and his bulge beneath his boxers appeared, outlined in the thin cotton. She watched him meticulously tap his fingers on his upper thigh in embarrassment and she messily giggled, washing his red colour away and stimulating a smirk on his face. He could've kept his pants on, but was he really going to crease his $300 _Levis_ jeans? He'd rather be embarrassed.

She was so beautiful. Everything about her. Her wide chocolate eyes, her adorable little nose, how her chocolate hair fell perfectly into place, the way she would giggle innocently. One look and he was breathless. Katherine didn't even do that to him. What was _wrong_ with him?

He gave her a quick peck to the forehead and she blushed. She knew it was probably just a friendly kiss, but at the same time she felt special. Her silver lining wasn't an option, but tonight she wanted to feel warm. He could give that to her. As he turned to set up on the floor, she latched onto his arm. "Stay with me." She smiled messily. The only reason he offered to sleep on the floor was because he thought she'd be uncomfortable being that close to him.

"Okay." He nodded. She scooted over to give him space. As soon as he lay down, she turned so that she was curled around him, her head against his heart and her knee digging at his hip. He was startled at first, but quickly adjusted. She felt warm and safe in his rainy-alcohol smell. She didn't really know what she was doing and she would have never done it if she was sober. Yeah, drunk Elena was fearless. Sober Elena? She feared everything.

"I meant what I said." She almost whispered against his chest. "You're my first choice." She admit. He didn't think she meant it the first time. It sounded more like she was comforting him rather than meaning what she said. He knew she'd be telling the truth — she was drunk. He was too afraid to ask the day before, but now he knew she felt something for him. Even if it was a small glimmer of a feeling inside. It was something.

"Good." He pulled her body up so her head was positioned in the crook of his neck, hugging her tightly as he leaned down to kiss her. She quickly moved away, shaking her head as she sat up in the small space.

"No." She sighed, remembering her promise to herself. Even drunk Elena knew she needed to stick by her morals. She couldn't kiss him for real, because then they'd be something and she might fall for him. Her theory still stood. Humanity is just nasty and there's no silver lining — not unless you catch it the first time. As much as she wanted to kiss him, she couldn't be so foolish. When the cycle renewed, she'd be alone. He'd leave her. She'd taken some other risks concerning him and this wasn't about to be the next one. "I'm sorry."

"I'm confused." He frowned, his eyebrows dipping as he sat up next to her.

"I just...I promised myself I wouldn't." She huffed, resting her head in her palms.

"What are you talking about?" He asked, stroking her hair.

"I-have-this-theory-about-silver-linings-and-I-promised-myself-I-wouldn't-fall-for-you-because-then-I'd-be-cheating-the-universe-and—"

"Shut up." He breathed, pressing his lips against hers. She was hesitant at first, but her heart was telling her to kiss him back. So she did, giving him the answer he was looking for the previous night. It felt unusual, like nothing she'd ever felt before. It felt real, like he might have been her silver lining. Above all, it fell unbreakable, like two souls into one flesh. He had never connected with someone this deeply and neither had she.

"Wow." She heaved after pulling away, gazing into his baby blues. He simpered as they lay back down, gently placing her head back against his chest. For five minutes that theory slipped from drunk Elena's brain. The same five minutes he promised her at the beginning of their trip. The silver linings analysis and her broken heart had vanished for those five long minutes. All she felt was warmth. So she took his hand and intertwined their fingers, pulling them up to her mouth and placing a gentle kiss on them. "I'm so happy I bumped into you that night." She whispered against their interconnected hands. For those five minutes, she didn't care about cheating the universe. Instead, she contemplated whether she could make it work.

Then they were over. The five minutes had passed. That theory clouded her brain again. This time, she didn't doubt her feelings. She knew she'd be alone again when the cycle came around, but he was her temporary silver lining. Someone who could make her feel loved while she waited for the next push. If she stayed away from full attachment, she'd be able to handle it. He used his free arm to hug her as she drifted off to sleep against his chest.

* * *

Elena woke up in Damon's car again, smiling instead of restless this time. He had finally kissed her for real, and she felt great. She decided to enjoy right now, rather than worry about later.

"Hey, Sleepyhead." He chuckled.

"Hey, kidnapper." She grinned in return.

"You're not the worst company in the world, Elena." He randomly stated.

"What?"

"That's why I brought you to Georgia. You're not the worst company in the world and I wanted to have a fun night." He huffed. Her cheeks flushed with colour at his attempt at a compliment.

"You know we never talked about...the fact that you kissed me." She changed the subject.

"And you kissed me back?" He turned his head to look at her. She didn't worry abut him crashing, — they wouldn't die anyway — all she needed to worry about were the possibility of his cobalt hues leaving her chocolate. "Yeah I know, that's the whole point of kissing, so you don't have to talk about it."

"Right. Well I just wanted you to know that...I'm good with that." She simpered, biting her left cheek.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. We-we're good. Really good." She stuttered.

"Is this the talk?" He asked, furrowing those brows she told him not to furrow. At least she didn't have to watch from afar and melt now. She'd quench her thirst with kisses.

"Pretty much."

"Perfect." He smirked, leaning over to give her a quick kiss, while driving.

He was so beautiful. One look and she was breathless. Jace didn't even do that to her. What was wrong with her?

* * *

 **See you next Tuesday x**


	5. You Already Said That

**A/N: Before you read just wanna tell you I love you all and I know you'll hate me while reading this chapter but pls hang on till the end. I swear it gets better!**

* * *

 _Dear diary,_

 _Tonight's the founders ball at Tyler's and Damon's taking me as his date. About Damon...I can't stop thinking about him. It's been three weeks since our little trip to Georgia and he's always on my mind. Sure we're living together, but even when we're not together he's there smirking and wiggling his eyebrows at the back of my mind. He's constantly teasing me — I actually drooled in front of him yesterday._

 _I'm a little nervous. Remember my theory? Humanity is just nasty and there's no silver lining. I know it's just a theory, but it's been proven to me by 170 years of disappointment and tears. What I'm wondering is; can I have a temporary silver lining? My heart is telling me I've found the one. I want to believe it. I do. I want to believe I have found the one, but my mind is telling me that the feeling in my stomach is just a spur of the moment and once the moment ends, he'll leave me and I'll have to start again. You don't know what I would do to take away this fear of being loved. It's like I have an allegiance to pain that I just can't escape._

 _I'm just hoping he doesn't say those three words that will make me fall to the point of no return._

— _Elena_

* * *

"Hey..." Damon smirked, walking into the room. He noticed Elena standing in front of the mirror, trying to reach the clip on her bra. His pupils dilated as he noticed she was only in her underwear. "Need some help?"

"Sure." She smiled, forcing herself not to blush. _'This is a normal boyfriend / girlfriend thing. It doesn't mean he loves me.'_ She repeated in her head. He sped behind her and slowly clipped up her black lace bra, placing his soft lips against the back of her neck. Elena moaned regretfully. She felt his hard on poking at her trembling body, gliding against her ass. She really wanted to give in — he was so tempting. But she couldn't be so easy and she couldn't be so stupid. Sleeping together was taking the next step and she wasn't going to go there. Ever. She already broke her promise about kissing him, she couldn't break this one. She would do anything to change her fickle minded heart, but she couldn't. All she could do was fight the urge. Plus, they'd only been together for three weeks and she didn't want him to see how desperate she was for his touch. But there was no harm in teasing him, right? He ran his electric fingers down her waist and she turned to him and connected her lips with his hungry ones. As she moved her hands to his hair, tugging his raven locks, his hands travelled to her bra, circling the lace fabric. She instantly pulled away and shoved his hands off her. "Uh, uh, uh. No touching." She smirked. He glared at her with confusion.

Elena walked over to her bag, threw on some casual clothes and grabbed her dress for the founders ball. "What are you doing?" He asked.

"That's for me to know and you to...Dot. Dot. Dot." She giggled. He rolled his eyes, inwardly smiling as he realised she used his phrase from Georgia.

* * *

"Elena, I know you. You have serious feelings for him!" Bonnie argued, applying mascara. They were getting ready for the founders ball together.

"No, I can't." She stated. Bonnie was right. Elena did have serious feelings for Damon, but she'd never admit it. She couldn't. Once she admit it, there was no going back. The seriousness was what she was afraid of. A fling, on the other hand, was easy to let go of. But inside she knew it wasn't a fling, because even before he kissed her that night in Georgia, she had serious feelings for him.

"Why not?"

"Because when my cycle restarts and I realise he wasn't my silver lining, I'm going to be alone and angry that I trusted my heart and not my head." She explained, gliding the straightening iron down a curl.

"Don't give me that theory shit again." Bonnie rolled her eyes, pulling out her lipgloss.

"It's not shit." Elena defended, running her fingers through her heated hair. "He probably doesn't even like me that much anyway."

"Elena, Damon is my friend and judging by the way he talks about you, he is really into you." Bonnie argued, turning towards her. "I know Damon. He's reckless. He hasn't loved anyone since that bitch Katherine and I'm telling you now, the way he looks at you, I've never seen it before."

"Really?" She asked sarcastically. "How does he look at me?"

"Like you're the ocean and he's desperate to drown."

"Oh, shut up." Elena rolled her eyes. She wanted to appear like she didn't care, but hearing Bonnie say those words made her skin bump. It was more than flattering.

"I'm serious." Bonnie tensed her face in frustration. Elena just wasn't getting it. Bonnie saw it. Everyone else did. He loved her. Her theory and mindset was making her oblivious to the fact.

"He can't love me." Elena's eyelashes did that thing she once saw Damon's do. They throbbed trying to hold in the salty water edging to escape. At this point, she was unsure of whether Bonnie was trying to make her feel better or worse.

"Why are you crying?" Bonnie sighed, putting her lipgloss down and rubbing Elena's back in large circles. "You're gonna ruin your makeup."

"I can't do this to him." Elena sniffed, running her lanky arm through her hair again.

"Do what?"

"I can't let him love me." Elena knew her feelings were true from the moment she met him, she just didn't want to say it out loud. She couldn't let him love her, because she wouldn't be guaranteeing him the same. It was more about preserving his happiness than hers. She couldn't put him through more heartache than he'd already endured. And it didn't help that she looked like a copy of his ex. It would be like his heart got ripped out by Katherine all over again.

"Oh my god." Bonnie breathed, shaking her head in realisation.

"What?"

"You love him." She stated.

"No, I don't." Elena shook her head in denial.

"Yes you do, Elena. Just go for it."

"I don't and I'm not, Bonnie."

"If you didn't, you wouldn't be so concerned of his feelings." Bonnie explained, smiling softly. The truth is, that's exactly why she was concerned about his feelings. Because she loved him.

"I don't."

"What are you going to do if he says it?" She asked, wiping the tears off Elena's face with the corner of a makeup wipe.

"He won't." She denied.

"But if he does?"

"He won't." Elena repeated. She wanted to change the subject. Anything other than the idea of Damon loving her. "Where's Care?"

"Don't deflect." Bonnie giggled, fixing Elena's makeup.

"I'm not."

"You're in denial." Bonnie rolled her eyes.

"No, I'm not." Elena shook her head again.

"Mhm." She nodded, sarcastically. "When's Damon picking you up?"

"He offered, but I told him I'd meet him there." Elena explained.

"Why? So you could buy more time to deflect?" Bonnie smirked.

"No."

"Yes."

"Where is Caroline?" Elena asked again.

"Nope, stop deflecting."

"No seriously, where is she?"

"She's with Stefan. She'll meet us there." Bonnie gave in, standing up to grab her outfit. "What are you wearing?"

"This." Elena held up her dress.

"Ooo, tryna look sexy for Damon?" She teased.

"No."

"Yes."

"Lets get changed." Elena rolled her eyes.

"Deflector." Bonnie coughed, slipping her heels on.

"Shut up."

* * *

Bonnie and Elena met Caroline outside the Lockwood mansion and lined up at the door. "Where's Stefan?" Bon asked Caroline.

"He came early with Damon. I was still getting ready." Care answered. Elena was internally smiling. Now she could make an entrance and get Damon's attention.

She walked in, wearing a tight grey bustier dress with white sandal heels and her hair in a straight high ponytail. She wore grey and black smokey eye and nude lipgloss.

She saw damon eyeing her from across the room when he was supposed to be listening to the sheriff. She blushed at his mesmerising gaze. She did look pretty, but he looked amazing. His black fancy button up shirt let her glimpse at his chiseled figure, and she just stood and stared.

She noticed bonnie and caroline looking at her weirdly, wondering why she was in such a trance. Elena immediately walked over to them and told them ' _I don't feel well, I'm going to the bathroom'_. She had only actually gone to the bathroom to tell herself she could handle the night without drooling — again — over Damon.

* * *

She walked out of the bathroom carelessly and bumped into Damon.

"Hey, you." She giggled.

"Hey, you." He smirked. "You look stunning if it isn't obvious."

"Not too bad yourself." She smiled back. She made him so happy. His life was really horrible until she walked into it and Elena always seemed to make him forget about past problems, helping him focus on something much better. Her.

A slow song started to play. "May I have this dance, Miss Gilbert?" He joked, bowing.

"Why or course you may, Mister Salvatore." She replied as he offered her his hand. She took it and let him lead her.

When they danced everything was perfect. It became obvious to Damon that they were meant for each other. Every piece of her, it just fit perfectly. Every second, every thought, he was in so deep. Truthfully, so was she, but she'd never show it on her face. He however, was making his love for Elena blatantly obvious to everyone other than Elena herself.

"Nice moves." She grinned as she rested her head on the stiff planes of his chest.

"Well it would be a shame not to share my talents with the world." He boasted. She sensed him smirking and she chuckled.

"You are an amazing dancer." She smiled against his warm pecks.

"I love you, Elena." He whispered. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Fuck. Bonnie was right. She kind of knew he did, but hearing him say it gave her a reality check. Damon Salvatore loved her; Elena fucking Gilbert. And she loved him. But she couldn't find the words. They had disappeared from her brain.

"Um..." She replied with a bent smile, lifting her head off his chest.

"What's wrong?" He asked, his voice turning velvet. She knew that wasn't the reaction he was hoping for, but she couldn't do it. The words just wouldn't come out, because her subconscious was telling her she'd missed it. He wasn't her silver lining because it was already gone. But she wanted him to be. She needed him to be. Her brain was stronger than her heart and it was preventing her from telling him.

"...I'm just feeling a little lightheaded." She frowned.

"Want a drink?" Damon asked.

"Sure." She frowned. He leaned over to peck her on the lips, but she turned her head and his lips collided with her cheek instead. He walked stiffly away and she sunk. What was wrong with her? She had never been so cold. Why couldn't she just let him kiss her?

She only felt worse when a needle pierced her skin. Her body grew weak and she could barely keep her eyes open. Vervain.

* * *

Damon loved her. He expected a different reaction consisting of an _'I love you too'_ or even just a kiss. He really thought she felt the same after all the time they'd spent together. Maybe it was just hard for her to say the words? _'No.'_ He thought. _'If she loved me she would have told me. She's better than Katherine in that way.'_ He didn't know why he hadn't seen it earlier — the fact that she didn't love him. Who would? He was never the first choice, he was just an idiot for believing that she'd be different. You should be with the person who makes you glad to be alive. That was her, but it obviously wasn't him. He was dull and damaged. He'd always been just that. But she made him better. Without her, there was no point in living. He would cease to exist.

The thing is, Damon was eternally, devastatingly romantic, and he thought Elena of all people would see it because _romantic_ doesn't mean _sugary_. It's dark and tormented ― the juror of passion, the despair of an idealism that you can't attain. _'She should've seen that'_ He thought. _'She should've been the one.'_

As he slumped back with her drink, he noticed she wasn't where he left her. The spot where she was standing was empty. Without her presence the room looked eery and melancholy. Something had happened. He sensed it. Sure, she could have just left, but he smelt vervain. Somebody took her. He cupped his ear, using his vamp hearing to listen for her unmistakeable breathing. Nothing. He noticed Caroline and Bonnie talking and assumed they saw something.

"Hey, Damon." Bonnie smiled. Caroline rolled her eyes as he approached — she didn't like him much.

"Hey, have you guys seen Elena?" He asked.

"Last time I saw her she was dancing with you." Caroline scoffed. Damon felt his lungs shrink. His breaths became urgent, like there was a limited supply of oxygen. The air was suddenly thin and polluted. Where. Was. She?

He silently left them, searching room by room for her. She wasn't anywhere. He tried calling her. No answer. Straight to her message bank. Hearing her say ' _Hey, It's Elena. Leave a message.'_ gave him back his air. He decided to check upstairs.

On his way up, he faintly heard someone call his name. He tried to follow the pain filled whispers, but they were too quiet to make out. The whispers; ' _Damon'_ became frequent and more urgent. It was her. It was Elena. The calls for help became loud enough for him to recognise her honey coated voice. Even in pain her voice was that smooth honey his ears tuned to. He sped into a room to see two Elena's. Wait.

"Katherine."

"Been a long time, Damon. Nice of you to join us." She spat. Elena was wearily slouched in a chair. Her hands were bleeding and her body was limp. Katherine must have used vervain ropes. Seeing her like this shattered him. Whether she loved him or not, he wouldn't stop loving her.

"Last time I remember you told me you never loved me and that it was always Stefan." He said, his voice cracking. Elena didn't say that, but it felt worse that when Katherine did.

"Okay that was harsh, but...at least I told you the truth."

"The truth isn't valid when you maintain a lie for 145 years. You've taken everything from me. My life. My heart. My happiness. I felt like dying, Katherine. You drove me to the point where it hurt so much, I couldn't breathe. I found what you took from me in Elena — even if she didn't find it in me. You've taken away every ounce of happiness in my life. Just let Elena go. Please, Katherine." He pleaded, his eyes clouding. He pushed back those tears.

"Don't be so dramatic, Damon." She snickered. "I loved you once."

"No, you're not capable of love. You're an evil vampire slut who only loves herself." He scoffed. "What do you want?"

"I just want one thing."

"What?"

"I want you to kill Caroline." She smirked.

"And why would I do that?"

"I want Stefan. I can't have him until Caroline's out of the equation." She explained, her voice croaking with vanity.

"There's only one person who needs to be taken out of the equation..." He sped to her, plunging his hand into her chest.

"No, Da-mon. Yo-u love m-e." She croaked.

"Not anymore" He breathed, letting that tear escape as he ripped her heart out. "Huh. She actually had a heart." He spat, sniffing the tear away as he dropped it onto the floor.

"Damon..." Elena whimpered.

"Sorry." He said, wiping away the rest of the wetness from his face before untying the vervain soaked ropes from her hands. Her limp body collapsed into his arms. He cradled her as he carried her out. "Lets get you home."

* * *

Elena sat on Damon's couch, sucking the last drops of blood out of an AB positive blood bag.

"Ease up, thirsty." Damon smiled weakly, sitting next to her. She giggled curling up on him. Cuddling Damon made her body strong again. He flinched slightly and she remembered what happened before he saved her. She rejected him. He was obviously hurt and she felt horrible. Yeah, maybe she wouldn't get that silver lining and she would be all alone when the cycle restarted, but she decided to take Bonnie's advice and go for it. Making him happy was worth risking it. Plus, Bon Bon was right, she did love him, she was just too afraid to say it.

"Thank you for saving me — again." She smiled.

"You owe me two." He smiled weakly back as she gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. She knew it wasn't what he wanted, but she wanted to explain herself before she kissed him.

"Did you mean it?" She asked, licking her dry lips.

"What?"

"What you said to Katherine. Did you meant it?"

"Yeah. She's ruined my life."

"That's not what I meant." She laughed.

"I know. Yes." He swallowed.

"I do." She heaved.

"You do what?"

"I do feel the same." She mumbled, her fingers tracing his torso. He stayed silent, swallowing at the thought. "I'm sorry for reacting the way I did before. I knew you did, but hearing the words...everything just hit me in the face. I knew what I wanted to say, but the shock of it all prevented the words from leaving my mouth. So I'll tell you now; I love you too. You deserve the best and I didn't give it to you. And I know you were heartbroken by my reaction, but I love you, Damon Salvatore." She smiled softly, looking up at him.

"You love me?" He asked, his silky tone returning.

"Yeah, I do."

"Okay." He breathed, pulling her into a deep kiss, connecting their souls. She immediately kissed back, shifting her body to sit on his lap. He gripped her hips, pulling her closer as her hands travelled to his locks. His hands moved up her torso and to her face, cupping her cheek.

"I love you." She told him for the third time, pulling away to smile.

"You already said that."

"Wow, buzzkill." She joked.

"I love you too." He hummed against her hairline. Once again his breath sent chills down her spine, but the difference was, she didn't feel bad about feeling what she felt.

* * *

 **I told you guys! Hang on till next week! More fluff and all round DE amazingness to come! Also, soz abt the Katherine death. I know it's not that easy to kill her but I needed her gone for the storyline so hope you don't mind**

 **Pls REVIEW, fav, follow and tell anyone you know who likes DE abt it. I really appreciate all of you readers out there!**

 **See you next Tuesday my loves xx**


	6. 177 Candles

**A/N: This chapter focuses more on Damon's past and his thoughts but don't worry I didn't change from third person to first. It's just kind of exploring his thoughts. You'll see. Because so far, it's been all about Elena and her feelings so here we go…**

* * *

Damon woke up to an Elena-less bed. That was strange. He was usually up before her. As he eye-scanned the room, he noticed a note beside the bed.

 _Morning handsome,_

 _Gone out to get some things. Be back later. Don't call or text, I'll be fine._

 _Love you xx_

— _Elena_

That was weird and unlike her. He didn't want to spend the day without her. He slouched over to the bathtub and filled the water, pursing his lips in disappointment. Maybe she had forgotten? He had only told her when it was once and it was before they were really together.

Damon wasn't one to celebrate his birthday and if he did, he'd spend it draining blood from whores that worked at strip clubs and bars. But he was different now. Elena made him different. So he wouldn't be spending his birthday doing that. He instead, wanted to skip a few bases with Elena and give her some mind blowing sex. Not that he was a sex crazy guy, — though he was a sex god — it was more that he fell for Elena within a month and when people love each other they _make love_. He didn't mind if he didn't get it though. Spending any time with her today would be more than satisfying, but it didn't look like he'd be doing much of that either.

He peeled his boxers off and pondered his previous life. Before Elena, he had been a completely different person. Before Elena, Damon was the kind of guy to sleep with a new girl every night. He was the kind of guy — or vampire — to murder a whole town as big as Mystic Falls in a night or two and the kind to get drunk on blood and bourbon and terrorise his brother and other people he found boring. Before Elena, Damon was damaged. Carnal and sadistic. He still is. He was a picture of ruin, brokenness and everything else black and hollow. He was the type of person parents told they're children to avoid and the type of vampire, cleaned up ones like Stefan were disgusted by. Damon Salvatore wasn't always that monster though.

Back in the 1800's he was the kind of guy you'd want your daughter to marry and the guy to serve for his town. He was the kind to never cheat on a girl and was anything but promiscuous. But Katherine fucked him up. Before Katherine, he was everything and more of what he is, now that Elena had gotten to him. He was the purest and sweetest. He didn't use sarcasm as a coping mechanism to hide his pain and he was practically more sappy than Stefan. But as his life progressed and Katherine broke his heart countless times, he became dark, resentful, remorseless, sour, a monster and a royal dick. The night he met Elena, he was headed to the bar to sob to Alaric about his shit life. He had just drained some cocky high school jock's blood. Things he hadn't shared with Elena. He decided then, it was probably a must before he had sex with her. He'd need her to accept his past and know that she was the changing factor. She was the anchor that dragged him back from sea. Elena Gilbert was the one to change him from obnoxious prick to gentleman, from psychopath to sappy. Almost 1864 Damon level sappy.

Almost.

He hated that word. He _almost_ told her. He _almost_ confessed his past. He was _almost_ completely honest with her. _Almost_ but not yet. Soon but not now. A horrible state to be in.

Stepping into the bathtub, he vowed to himself that he'd tell her today. His birthday and the day he'd be completely open with her. No more _Almost_.

* * *

After a long bath, he headed downstairs to see if Stefan was home. Stefan was boring and resembled a hero too much for Damon's liking, but he was his brother and he loved him. He was the second choice, but he'd still do.

"Stefan." He called. No answer. Surely he knew what today was. Damon walked over to yesterday's bourbon bottle. Another note. What the fuck was with the notes today?

 _Brother,_

 _I figured you would have your morning drink. Out with Caroline. Don't call or text...she took my phone._

— _Stefan_

Seriously, Stefan too. The day was supposed to be eventful. You don't turn 177 every day. Yeah, it wasn't a milestone birthday but it was still a birthday. As much as Damon kept up the image that he didn't care and didn't listen to people or their life stories, he remembered peoples birthdays. It was usually the one thing he did remember along with names. He knew Elena's, Stefan's, Alaric's, Bonnie's and even Caroline's and there were quite a few more.

He checked his phone to see two new voicemail messages. _'Hey Damon, It's Bonnie. I know it's your birthday but I'm really busy. Don't call or text, I'm out of town. Maybe we can hang out tomorrow?'_. Well that's great.

He opened the second message. _'Hey Buddy, wanna come to the grill and have a birthday drink? This is Ric by the way.'_ At least Ric was willing to make his birthday worth while. And he was the only one who hadn't said _Don't call or text_. _'Weird'_ Damon thought. He was no idiot. There was definitely something going on.

* * *

"And the drinking buddy has arrived." Ric smirked as Damon plonked next to him at the bar. "I'm surprised you came. I thought you were gonna spend the day with this Elena girl you won't shut up about."

"I was, but when you get a note saying _'I'm going out. Don't call or text.'_ You decide, the history teacher drinking buddy will have to do." He sighed.

"Well, Happy Birthday Buddy." Alaric grinned as they downed their shots. " _Locker 42_?"

" _Locker 42_."

* * *

They strode down the Mystic Falls High School hallway. Alaric bursted _Locker 42_ open and offered Damon the first sip of the hidden bourbon they labelled _only for special occasions_. Ric handed him the bottle, but before he could open it, it was snatched out of his hands and they were both pushed to the floor. There was another vampire in there.

"They had to steal my best bourbon bottle, on my birthday." Damon complained, standing up and offering Ric his hand.

"OUR best bourbon bottle." He corrected.

"Yeah whatever. We need to get it back. We waited 7 years to open that bottle."

"Split up?"

"Like hell we are. You're not a vampire and you don't have that magic ring anymore. Whoever stole our bourbon can rip your pathetic heart out in a split second. I'm not gonna let the only person willing to accompany me on my birthday, die." Damon explained, frowning at his friend.

"Nice to know you care buddy." He simpered, patting Damon's back.

"You know Ric, for a teacher you're pretty stupid. let's go." He rolled his eyes. They tiptoed around the school, classroom by classroom.

Ric nodded towards the gym, signalling Damon to go first, knowing if he got hurt he would heal instantly. As he opened the door, all the lights flickered on, attacking his eyes.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

* * *

"Happy Birthday, Babe." Elena grinned after giving Damon a long passionate kiss.

"I knew you wouldn't ditch me." He smirked, pecking her cheek. "I love you, but who are all these people?"

"I love you too." She giggled. "They're just my uh...friends from...Whitmore."

"Elena, you didn't have to compel me friends." He groaned. "I'm good with the few I have."

"I'm sorry," She frowned, clinging to his arm. "I just wanted to make your birthday special."

"And I love you for it," Damon smiled. "But I would have been happy with you alone."

"177. I can't believe it." Stefan grinned, walking over to them. "Seems like only yesterday you were 24."

"It's cool not growing old. I like being the eternal stud." Damon smirked.

"Elena, can I speak to my brother for a minute." Stefan asked, his face dropping.

"Sure." She replied, pecking Damon on the cheek before joining her friends.

"What's up, brother?" Damon questioned. Stefan seemed serious, which usually meant he was in the mood to be a royal pain in the ass.

"What's going on with this Elena girl?" He asked, furrowing his eyebrows. He was always such a brooder. Boring and serious. The complete opposite of Damon.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I know you. You haven't been in a lasting relationship since ever and Katherine doesn't count. If you're playing her, let her go."

"Is it that hard for you to think that I might be happy with her? I love her. I know it's hard for you to believe, Steffy, but I'm happy for the first time in my entire life and it's because of Elena. No one else can make me feel the way I do. I'm not playing her." Damon explained. Just the thought of her made him tingle. He had never experienced that before and he wouldn't be able to live without it if she left him.

"You might be in love, but how does innocent Elena feel about murderer Damon? Man-slut Damon? How about dick Damon?" Stefan asks seriously. His arms fold at his pecks and Damon remembers his promise to himself earlier. "Huh? Is she in love with all versions of you?"

"I haven't told her about the old me yet. I was planning on telling her today. When we're alone."

"You might want to tell her fast because she's blindly walking around praising you to be the good samaritan that you're not. Fix this, Damon. Or I will." Stefan warned.

"Oh great, Saint Stefan to the rescue once again." Damon quipped. "I'll tell her brother."

"Good." Stefan smiled coldly, turning to walk away.

"Oh and Steffy," Damon started.

"Mhm?"

"Get your head out of my ass and stop poking in my business."

"Happy Birthday, brother." Stefan smiled genuinely this time.

* * *

They crashed into the house, her legs wrapped around his waist as he held her. Their lips locked and their eyes closed. He sped them up to his room and pinned her against a wall as he disconnected their lips and moved onto her neck. Elena was ready, but Damon wasn't. He never thought he'd been the one pulling away but he promised he'd tell her.

"Wait, Elena." He heaved, lifting his swollen lips from her collar bone.

"No." She whined against his jaw, her hands travelling to the hem of his shirt.

"Elena—"

"I don't care if it's too big." She breathed, nibbling his ear as she lifted his shirt up. It only made it half way up his torso before he pulled it down.

"No, it's not that." He chuckled at her. She was so desperate for his touch that she'd forgotten about her theory. She just wanted to be close to him.

"Don't tell me you're a virgin." She smirked, shoving her hands in his slacks. He wanted her so bad. More than he'd ever wanted someone. But she'd never forgive him if he told her after they had sex.

"No." He stated, flicking her fingers from his waistline.

"Are we going too fast?" She asked, frowning slightly.

"No, Elena listen to me," He started. "I need to tell you something that you're not going to like."

"Now?" She asked, annoyed.

"After you know this you might not want to sleep with me." Damon sighed, slumping to the bed. He patted the spot next to him and she slowly followed.

"I'm confused." She frowned, raising an eyebrow. Elena was initially the one hesitant to sleep with Damon, but right now she wanted to give him the best birthday of his life and he wasn't making it easy. Because he didn't want her to sleep with him and regret it. He wanted her to feel comfortable with him. That wouldn't be possible if he didn't tell her now.

"I'm bad, Elena. I don't do good. It's not...in me." He started. She stayed silent, scrunching her face in confusion. "I've done some things, hurt some people...killed some innocent people. Some of it, I did with my humanity off and I felt the weight of those mistakes when I flipped it back on, but not all of it. Some I did when I was completely myself. I can blame Katherine all I want, but even if how much she hurt me was what drove me to do it, I still did it. And I know there's no excuse."

"What are you trying to say, Damon? That you're a bad person? The past doesn't define us, it's the actions we take now that count." She explained. She was being extremely hypocritical, because she was focusing on the past. Using it to determine what the future would hold. But she needed to convince him right now. Not because she wanted to get into his pants, but because she knew what Katherine did. She knew that there was never an excuse for killing people, but she also knew how great it felt. To use other people to empty the emotions. Humanity on or off, it was wrong, but it wasn't fair to blame the person. She had learned that from experience. Damon had been hurt so bad that she couldn't let him blame himself for past mistakes. Especially when he'd changed so much since then. "I know you're not a bad person. I trust you. You may have been that person before but all I see is someone who's warm and romantic. Beautiful and passionate. I haven't seen the person you're talking about in the time I've known you." She frowned, taking his hand into hers. "Look, I know you think you're a monster. You didn't have to tell me, I saw it. But you aren't. A monster doesn't love like you do."

"No, Elena. Murdering a whole town in one night isn't the work of a saint. I was psychotic. I'm still damaged." He shook his head.

"I've killed innocent people too, Damon. I'm telling you from experience that I'm not perfect. We're vampires, it's a motive of pain. It's not a conscious decision."

"Elena," he sighed. She wasn't getting it. He wasn't right for her and he didn't want to hurt her like he did to so many others. "I don't deserve you."

"I don't deserve you either." She smiled softly, caressing his lower arm.

"I'm different because of you. Without you I'd be the same broken psychopath who feeds on the innocent to numb the pain."

"So why are you telling me this then? If I'm the one who's supposedly 'fixed' you, why do you want to push me away? You just said without me you'd go back to your old ways, so why are you trying to make me resent you?" She questioned, projecting louder this time. "I was so hesitant to get in a relationship with anyone, because I didn't want to get hurt again. I didn't want to be ruined like the last time. I've finally trusted you and now you're trying to break that trust. For what?"

"I just want you to know who you're in a relationship with." He sighed again, fiddling with his fingers.

"I do know, Damon." She simmered down, lifting her quivering hand to his cheek. He flinched under her touch, completely forgetting what his point was. That's how much control she had over him. "I love you, the way you are." She mumbled, brushing her lips against his. The small contact she made sent him spinning into a lust trance. He leaned into her softly. He wanted her, but he wanted to take care with her. He needed to be gentle. Show her — even though she trusted him — that he wasn't rough and ruined anymore. That he could be sweet and sensual if she was with him. She was his weakness — his kryptonite if you will.

Elena wasn't hesitant either. She didn't even think about hesitating. It felt right. Never reaching that silver lining didn't matter right now. He did. And she wanted him.

* * *

 **I know, I'm horrible. I made you wait for the smut. But then again, they are going pretty fast.**

 _ **PLEASE READ: I just want you guys to know that they are going fast because they don't want to waste time — or at least Elena doesn't. Because she knows her next 'cycle' of this whole silver lining theory is near. Or she thinks it is. THATS ALL I'M SAYING!**_

 **You'll get some smut soon :)**

 **See you next Tuesday x**


	7. Cruel Intentions

**A/N: Last week I had a reader ask what defines the silver lining 'cycle'. I just want all of you guys to know if you are confused about any part of the book so far or need me to clarify something, please please please make sure to post a review on it or ask me in private message. I answered her within the day and I'll make sure to answer yours quickly too x**

 **OKAY, lets go from where we left off ;)**

* * *

He lifted his heavy hand to her cheek, matching her action as he lightly rolled them from their sitting position onto the bed. As he hovered over her, pressing his lips deeper into hers, he ran his free hand along her outer thigh, hooking it behind his back. She followed with her other leg, using her heels to push him against her.

"What are you doing to me, Elena?" Damon whispered against her ear, sending chills through her body. She felt herself getting wetter as he moved his lips to her jugular. She couldn't answer him. Her body was frozen and she couldn't move. He continued to sloppily kiss her neck, leaving tiny marks along the nook of her jaw, claiming her his.

She released a soft moan. With that, his lips returned to hers and he ground against her, trying to create as much friction as possible. It was a bit hard when they were fully clothed. Elena felt his bulge poking at her thigh as he scraped his teeth against her neck.

"Damon..." She whined, tugging the hem of his tee.

"Yes, Elena?" He sung in return. She couldn't take it anymore. She needed him and he needed her. She wanted the clothes off and him inside her.

"Hurry up." She hummed against his hairline.

"Are you sure?" He asked. He wanted to make sure she was ready — the first time with someone is special.

She gnawed on her lower lip and stared right into his baby blues, full of lust as she leaned over to place a gentle kiss on his ear, whispering; "I'm sure, Damon." But she wasn't. If she took this step there was no going back. She'd be so enthralled in him that she'd get even more hurt later on. Her theory was non existent right now. It had been deleted from her brain data. It would return later, when she wasn't so intoxicated by his smell of sandalwood, bourbon and dew. Right now, in this moment, she wanted him to send her to cloud nine.

"Elena, I don't want to rush you." He frowned.

"I don't care. Life's too short. Immortal or not, I don't want to waste another minute." She nodded.

And with that he leaned up slightly, lifting his shirt over his head. She gazed in awe at his perfectly carved chest while he unbuckled his belt. His lips crashed back onto hers and a thousand sparks flew from their fragile hearts. They parted again, only to collide with her collar bone as he unzipped her dress from under her. Every time he placed a kiss onto her, it was like billions of tiny broken shards of her heart falling into place. She realised how long she had needed him and completely forgot the reasons she rejected the previous opportunities.

He tugged her little black dress over her head as her legs clung to him. He'd only be disconnected from her for maximum three seconds, but that was too long. Her legs kept their bodies close.

After tossing the fabric aside, He lifted her back to unclip her black lace bra and his lips moved down to her breasts. He was alluring and she couldn't get enough. She winced, resulting in him sucking less aggressively. For a second there he forgot he was going gentle.

As he moved down to her matching panties, he left a trail of wet kisses down her body, leaving her in a hopeless trance. He bit the edge of her panties and seductively pulled them off with his teeth.

Spreading her legs, his lips nipped at her upper thighs. She was expecting him to keep her waiting longer because as his lips collided with her core, her whole body ignited. Her body was burning up. If his lips had stayed there longer, the burns would surely show.

"Damon...stop teasing." Elena winged, her legs squirming as her inserted a finger into her. She let out almost silent moans as he moved his finger in and out, increasing speed and stretching her out. He quickly pulled out when he'd only been inside her for a minute. "Why'd you stop?" She frowned, as he pulled off his jeans, then boxers. She gasped as his huge hard on revealed, bouncing against his stomach.

"Because I want you now." He growled, leaning down to kiss her. She wrapped her legs around his waist again, waiting for him to insert.

She moaned in pleasure filled pain as he slowly pushed his length in. Before he moved inside her, he commanded entrance into her mouth with his tongue. She granted and as he slipped his tongue in to meet hers, he moved inside her. She grunted as he continued to plunge into her with his whole length in soft momentum.

Shivers vibrated through her spine as he started to hit her g-spot. His eyes darkened, his teeth revealed themselves and his voice deepened — as if he were a predator and she was his prey.

"Elena..." He croaked with the breath he had left, his thrusting becoming more intense. They were going slow, and neither of them had ever had their orgasm build up like this. The constant eye contact helped the process.

"Fuck, Damon." Elena panted as she felt his still growing length twitch inside her.

He moved his hands to her waist, allowing him to enter her deeper, her ass slapping against his thighs and pushing her deeper into a blur of soft blue, causing her to forget her own name. The only thing that mattered was his.

He shifted one hand to her face, making her to gaze into the deep pool of his hues as he stared back into hers with love and adoration, pouring his feelings into the continuous thrusting movement and kissing her with all the passion he had in him. This was the difference between fucking or having sex and making love.

He placed one hand above her head on the bed as she used her heels to push him in deeper, letting him to hit that spot that made her drown in pleasure. "Right there." She whined and he obeyed, focusing on that specific spot and helping her orgasm build up. She was waiting for the plunge that would take her over the edge.

"Come with me, Elena." Damon breathed against her jaw, nipping at it with his teeth. With one swift thrust, he emptied inside her, Elena following. He didn't slow down, instead he thrusted harder and deeper, ensuring that her first experience with him would be her most memorable.

"...DAMON." She squealed as endless waves of pleasure flooded her body, blurring her vision. All she could see were his blue hues that made her insides melt completely as he stilled inside her. He pulled out, collapsing on top of her. They panted into each others ears, sweat trailing down their bodies.

"Best. Birthday. Ever." He huffed, turning his head to reconnect their eyes as he rolled off her. His lips collided with hers once more. It felt real and unbreakable and it felt like love. They didn't have sex or fuck, they made love. Their lips finally parted, but they kept their noses touching, his hypnotic pool of blue dreams gazing into her delicate whorl of chocolate. He giggled as she twitched from the never ending aftershocks. "I love you." He cooed. Elena's eyes clouded with salty tears. She hadn't felt that loved...well ever. Damon made her feel different. Like she was his missing piece. "Why are you crying?" He panicked.

"I just love you." She rasped, burrowing her head in the crook of his neck as she wrapped herself around him like she did that night in Georgia.

* * *

 **TWO WEEKS LATER:**

"Do you smell something?" She asked, wrapping her arms around Damon's neck, their almost naked bodies pressed together. The only thing between them was a warm towel, keeping them moist. It had been two weeks since Damon's birthday and on Elena's, they celebrated the same way — sex. After the first time, Elena couldn't get enough. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe she would reach her silver lining. Maybe she had already reached it. But it wasn't just about the sex. It was more about the way he made her feel. She'd never felt that way with anyone else — and it was probably because she loved him. She kept thinking about how different Damon was from Jace. Damon made her feel alive. Jace made her feel...well, dead. She couldn't be herself around him. Some of it had to do with the fact that Jace wasn't a vampire, but the main thing was that Jace didn't show his love. When they'd have sex, it would be emotionless for him — just another girl he on the other hand, poured his heart into their intercourse — one reason being that he had one, and the other being that he devoted his heart to Elena. And that made her feel complete. His heart had been broken before too, and when it broke, he lost a big piece of it. It had been incomplete since he fell in love with Katherine. That missing piece was Elena. Now that he found her, he couldn't let her go. "Is that bacon?"

"Maybe." He answered. She removed her hands and waddled over to the bathroom mirror. As she adjusted her towel, she felt Damon's warm arms wrap around her soft skin, his head resting in the niche of her neck.

"I'm hungry." She turned around, searching for her shirt. "Have you seen my t-shirt?"

"I prefer you without one." He smirked, bringing back his signature eyebrow move. She hadn't seen it in a while and it made her internally giggle. She was cracking Damon Salvatore's shell. The Damon Salvatore that _was_ a hopeless void of disaster. The Damon Salvatore that _was_ heartbroken. The Damon Salvatore _who_ loves Elena Gilbert.

"Ha. Ha. Very funny." She grunted, rolling her eyes as she lightly punched him in the arm. "Did you take it?"

"If I did, why would I give it to you?" He giggled.

"Because, I want to go to the grill and feed and unless you want the whole of Mystic Falls to see me — _your_ Elena — without a shirt, then I suggest you tell me." She simpered.

"Here." He frowned falsely, picking it up from the corner of the room and handing to her. "Can I come?"

"That depends." She smirked. "Did you take my t-shirt."

"No, I found it." He lied.

"Then yes, you may come."

* * *

Caroline was royally pissed. She hated when Stefan didn't agree with her. Especially about _this_. Stefan was however, easily manipulated by her. She knew manipulating her boyfriend wasn't really fair, but she was good at it. It helped her get from A to B. But that wasn't all she was with Stefan for. No, she loved him. It was just a plus that came with the relationship.

"Stefan," Caroline started, pacing back and forth around his room. She had ambushed him at least six times in the last two weeks about this. Today would be her last try. She couldn't leave it any longer. "We need to do something about this!"

"No. Damon's happy. Elena's happy. Why ruin it?" Stefan argued, plonking himself on his bed.

"Ruin what? Elena deserves better than your sociopathic brother." She spat, folding her arms stiffly on her chest.

"So what, Caroline?" He asked. Now Caroline was confused. Stefan had never stood up for himself when arguing with her. Unlike most other relationships, she was the one who made all the decisions. "He's different now. Elena did that to him. If you take her away you'll get the sociopath. You're trying to ruin something that doesn't need to be ruined."

"He's the same. Does Elena even know what his life was like before they met?"

"Yes, he told her on his birthday. She was accepting of it because she _loves_ him."

"Elena doesn't love Damon." She denied. "She's just attracted to him."

"Are you even listening to me, Caroline? She makes him better. I've never seen him like this." He shrugged. Caroline had always thought she did best for Elena by meddling in her life when really, Elena was best when she was happy. And she was happy with Damon. Stefan saw it, but Caroline hadn't. She wouldn't see it. She was a control freak. Caroline had _cruel intentions_. She didn't think they were _cruel_. She thought she'd be _helping_ Elena. But did Elena _need_ _her_ help? "He deserves happiness too. I already tried to convince him to let her go, but I can see that he loves her. If he didn't, he wouldn't still be with her. He's finally happy and I can't ruin that. You're asking me to fuck up my brother's life."

"I'm not asking you to fuck it up, I'm asking you to fix it. If you don't help me fix the situation, I'll fix it myself." She huffed, storming out of the room.

* * *

"God, I'm starving." Elena mumbled as they sat down at the bar.

"Pick your meal. You've got Asian fusion, Mexican, what about some good old American comfort food?" Damon smirked.

"Him." She stated, hopping off the bar stool. She walked over to a guy that looks around 17 years old. "Hi." She smiled innocently.

"Hi." He grinned.

"Can I buy you a drink?" She asked, glancing back at Damon.

"I'm underaged." The kid frowned, turning bad around.

"What about a soda?" She insisted, nodding her head towards the bar.

"Sure." He accepted. Elena led the teenager to the bar and sat right next to Damon so he could see how good she was at luring them in. She ordered the drinks and decided to occupy her meal.

"So..." She trailed, waiting for him to ask her something.

"Can I have your number?" He asked, eagerly. She heard Damon cough in disapproval behind her and she giggled slightly.

"Wow, um...that was fast." She inhaled She could feel Damon's eyes fixated on the back of her head with jealousy.

"So is buying a random guy a drink."

"Good point. Pass your phone." She giggled. She felt Damon's hand slip up her thigh. She tried to squeeze her legs shut, but his hand was already at the edge of her panties. He started to rub her over her panties and whisper dirty things in her ear, causing her to forget what she was supposed to be doing.

"Are you okay?" The teenager asked, frowning. Damon quickly slid her panties to the side and slipped a finger in.

"Huh...mm.." Elena let out a moan as quietly as she could. She sensed Damon smirk and she swallowed hard, trying to conceal her need for him. "Yeah, sorry." She smiled, resuming her thoughts and accepting his phone. Damon added another finger, beginning to pump in and out with both fingers, making her walls clench. "Uhm..." She knew this was what he wanted. She managed to slowly type in a fake number and name into the phone and hand it back.

"Thanks...Bethany." The kid beamed, staring at the phone. Damon added a third finger. This time he wasn't pumping, he was slamming.

"Oh...No problem." She answered, hitting the table to cover the moaning as she forced her weak eyelids to stay open. He finally pulled all his fingers out, letting out an almost silent chuckle as he disappeared. He knew how to piss her off.

"I'm Joe, by the way." The teenager extended his hand.

"Cool." She softly smiled, raising her weak hand up to shake his. "Um...I'm gonna run to the ladies room."

* * *

Elena speed-walked into the bathroom and turned the water on, splashing her burnt cheeks with the cool liquid. She turned her head sharply as the door creaked open.

"What was that?" She growled at him, as Damon entered slowly.

"What do you mean, _what was that_?" He scrunched his face. "You were the one flirting with the teenager."

"Damon, he was my meal. I was going to eat him. Don't you think flirting is harmless in that situation?" She questioned, raising a brow.

"Oh, don't pretend like you didn't love it." He rolled his eyes, running a few fingers through his midnight locks.

"I'm not saying I didn't love it," She giggled softly, her face returning stiff within a second. "I'm just saying it wasn't the best time. It's not like I was going to take him home, Damon. I was going to _eat_ him. I don't really think it's fair that you got so jealous." She frowned. "And embarrassed me."

"Ok maybe it wasn't the best time, but I can't watch you flirt with anyone else but me. Even if you are faking it." He explained. "You're _my_ girl." He smirked, lifting his thumb to her face. "I'll try not to get so jealous, ok?"

"Thank you." She smiled into his lips. Little did they know that jealousy was the least of their problems. Hurricane Caroline was on her way.

 **There was a shit tonne of smut in this chapter, Holy Moly. Hope I wrote it well for you guys. Review if you liked it!**

 **Ready for DRAMA? I know we all want DELENA to be together but they can't have no drama come their way or it would be a boring story. Dw DE always survive!**

 **And again, if you think their moving too fast it's because Elena doesn't want to waste time. Life's too short.**

 **CYA next Tuesday loves xx**


	8. Hurricane Caroline

**Don't hate me for this chapter! Pls keep on reading! It will get better!**

* * *

Caroline snuck out of Stefan's room at 7am. As she reached the bottom of the stairs, she pulled out her phone and dialled Elena. After a few rings, she picked up.

 _"Hello?"_ She answered, yawning through the phone.

" _Hey! Did I wake you?"_ Care asked, knowing she did.

" _Yeah...what's up?"_

 _"I'm having a party tonight at Tyler's."_

 _"You're telling me this at 7am?"_ Elena questioned, sitting up in her bed. She wondered if Caroline was out of the house. Why wouldn't she just come up to Damon's room and tell her? Caroline was weird lately. She was always awkward with Damon. Elena knew she didn't like him but Elena wasn't really Stefan's biggest fan either. She didn't need to be all cold and sheltered when he was there. Elena wasn't with Stefan.

" _Um...yeah."_

 _"Is that it?"_

 _"Bring Damon."_ She quickly added. Before Elena could ask why, she hung up. Caroline didn't want her getting suspicious — although she probably made Elena more curious.

* * *

She walked into the Grill, looking for someone. She eyed out a teenage girl, probably in high school. She was the perfect subject. She wore a white tee, thin enough to reveal her black bra, shorts that could pass as underwear and a fully caked face of makeup. Caroline headed over to the bar and sat next to her. She noticed the bracelet on the girl's wrist and the sudden smell of vervain.

"Oh my god, your bracelet is so pretty! Can I see?" She asked, squealing with falsity.

"I never take it off." She smiled, rolling her eyes. Caroline pulled it off her wrist, quickly releasing it onto the table before it burned her palm. Before the teen could take it back, she grabbed her arm.

"Now you do." She compelled her. She tossed the chain behind her into the bin, rubbing her fingers together where the bracelet burned her.

"Hey!" The girl squealed. Caroline grabbed her hand again.

"Settle down, you hated that bracelet." She told her.

"I hated that bracelet." She repeated.

"What's your name?"

"April."

"I need you to do something for me, April."

* * *

"Elena?" Damon called as she walked back into his room.

"Mm." Elena replied, confirming it was her.

"Why are you up so early?" He asked, stretching his muscly arms. Elena took a deep breath as she watched his arm flex. Every time he did that, she needed to take a breath — for the sole purpose of making sure there was enough air to keep her from fainting.

"I could ask you the same thing." She smiled, shaking her head slowly as she collapsed next to him on the bed.

"Well played." He grinned, wrapping the same arm she couldn't take her eyes off three seconds ago, around her lanky body. Feeling the muscles flex against her chest was more powerful than gawking at it. She took another deep breath, shutting her eyes. When her eyes were closed it became breathable. His face was a magnet, attracting the air she was supposed to be breathing. The combination of his buff arm surrounding her and his magnetic face would surely suffocate her. There wouldn't be enough air. So she closed her eyes. That way his veins indenting her skin weren't detrimental to her breathing. It still did some damage though.

"Caroline called." She stated, washing his smile away. She giggled inwardly at that. He wasn't very fond of the blonde.

"What did _she_ want?" He coughed, rolling his eyes and putting emphasis on the _she._

"She wanted to invite me to her party at Tyler's tonight." She hummed, heaving against his limb. She adjusted to the feeling of it there, since it probably wasn't moving anytime soon. Another reason it was hard to breathe was that she was still hurt. Her wounds were still open. Yeah, Damon made her feel alive and happy, but that didn't deter her thoughts completely and it probably never would. Because Elena Gilbert was not human. Neither was Damon, but it was different for Elena. He trusted her, but she still couldn't trust him because her subconscious wouldn't allow it. So when he put his arm there it sparked something. Something good and bad. Good in the sense that his touch electrified her. Bad in the sense that she wasn't used to affection and she wasn't entirely comfortable with it yet. She loved him, yes, but that didn't change the fact that her time was running out and his arm there made her scared for the ending. She was scared to be broken again, but that wasn't the main thing that frightened her. She was mostly scared of losing him. The one person that got to her. Either way, she wanted to enjoy right now and forget about all the stress. She wanted him to make her forget.

"At 7am?" He asked, scrunching his face in confusion.

"My question exactly."

"Am I invited?" He pleaded with puppy dog eyes. He was, but even if he wasn't, Elena would take him anyway.

"Yeah. She actually suggested I bring you."

"Seriously? Caroline _Damon hating_ Forbes, wants me there?" He chuckled. She couldn't help but giggle. The little things he did make her tingle with excitement.

"Enough talking." She shook her head, turning to kiss him. He immediately returned the kiss, gripping her hips, pinning her to the bed. As he ran his fingers down her body, she quivered, unable to mask how much she wanted him. She wanted him to remove those negative thoughts. She wanted him to touch her. He moved his head down to her neck and started to suck as he pulled off her t-shirt.

"That's a part of my sanity I will never get back." They heard a voice say. Elena instantly pushed Damon off her and sat up, covering herself with her hands — she was sitting on top of the sheets. Stefan stood at the door with a disgusted look on his face. If Damon couldn't take the thoughts away, the sudden embarrassment definitely did.

"What do you want?" Damon snarked in disappointment. Elena giggled at his annoyed look, pulling on her t-shirt.

"Believe me, I'd rather be anywhere else, but Sheriff Forbes is waiting for you downstairs about the hospital blood supply." Stefan complained.

"I forgot about that." Damon sighed.

"Must have slipped your mind with all the extra curricular activities you've been doing." Stefan smirked.

"Shut up."

* * *

Elena stood in front of the mirror, struggling to zip up her dress.

"Need some help?" A familiar voice asked.

She nodded as Damon walked over to her. He stood behind her, zipping her dress up as he planted tiny kisses down the back of her neck. "Damon..."

"Mm?" His lips travelled to her ear, extending his trail as he placed his hands on her hips. She instantly forgot what she was about to say, finding herself only able to gnaw on her lower lip. She wanted him that morning, but their interruption made her wait.

She moaned softly, searching her memory for what she was going to say. She should have stopped him. Instead, she lifted her arm up behind his head, tangling her fingers in his hair, supporting him.

With her approval, he nibbled on her collar bone from behind as he unzipped her dress. Again, she shouldn't have let him. They had to go, but who would care if they were late? Caroline. Caroline would.

"Hm hm." Someone coughed. Just like the morning, Elena noticed Stefan standing at the bedroom door. She immediately ran behind Damon, hiding her bare skin as she tried to reach the zip on the back of her dress.

"Again?" Damon grunted with dismay.

"I would leave you two, but Caroline will slaughter me if I'm late, and were riding together." Stefan stated.

"You're scared of Caroline?" Damon asked. Elena clung to Damon's back, her cheeks still rosy with embarrassment. That was twice in one day and both times, she was the one naked.

"Have you met her?" Stefan laughed. He was right, they needed to go.

"Good point." Damon fake-smiled, scrunching his face. The room was silent for what felt like forever.

"Well, are we gonna go?" Stefan questioned, breaking the silence. Damon gestured him to leave so Elena could get changed. "Meet me downstairs."

* * *

They pulled up at Tyler's and walked in. Stefan left to find Caroline as soon as they stepped inside.

Damon gripped Elena's waist, pulling her closer to him as they walked in, showing everyone that she was his. Guys tended to eye her and Damon got jealous often. Marking his territory was a must.

"I'm gonna go find Bon." She smiled, flicking his hand away and pecking him goodbye. He scanned the room and found Ric with a bottle of bourbon in the corner.

"Pass it, thirsty." Damon teased, snatching the bottle out of his hands.

"Caroline invited you?" Ric laughed, wiping his mouth.

"Not only that, but...she called Elena at 7...am, telling her to...bring me." Damon stated between sips.

"Congrats buddy."

"Caroline ditched me." Stefan sighed, sitting next to them. "She made me come on time, only to ditch me as soon as I got here."

"Join the club." Damon smirked, handing him the bourbon. "As soon as we arrived, Elena couldn't wait to go find Bonnie."

"Harsh." Ric joked. Damon stole the bourbon back and took a huge sip. "There they are."

He pulled the bottle away from his mouth, looking up to see Elena and Bonnie standing over by Matt and Tyler. He didn't mind, as long as the boys knew she was with him. Katherine was one to mingle. Damon did trust Elena, but he didn't want history to repeat. He'd do anything to prevent that.

"Where's Caroline?" Stefan asked, scanning the room. "She said she'd be with Bonnie and Elena."

"I don't kno—" Damon was cut off by a pair of drunk, teenage lips pressed against his. He pushed the girl off, scrunching his face in confusion. "What the fuck?"

"Hey, buddy." Ric said, tapping him on the shoulder.

"Yeah?" He asked. Ric pointed to a crying Elena over by the drink bar. Oh, shit. "Elena!" He called, vamp speeding up to her. He didn't care if people saw him — they were probably too drunk to notice anyway. All he cared about was her.

"Leave me alone!" She screamed, holding her hands up to hide her wet, red face. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. He'd done everything to make sure he didn't hurt her and it wasn't enough. She was hurt.

"Elena, she kissed me—"

"Bullshit." She spat, turning her back. "Caroline was right."

Damon stepped up to her slowly, hugging her from behind. He placed his lips on her hair gently. "I'd never do that to you."

"Don't ever, touch me again," She hissed, smearing her mascara as she nudged him away.

"Elena, I—"

"Don't you dare say anything to me ever again, or bring me flowers, or chocolates, or show up at my house at midnight to sweet talk me. We're done."

"Wait." He sighed as she stormed off, salty tears rolling down his cheeks. He couldn't move. He felt guilty even though he didn't cheat on her. He felt guilty because he knew he couldn't do anything to convince her otherwise. But most of all, he felt guilty because she was so hurt by it. _He_ was the one who hurt her. It wasn't that teen that kissed him it was Damon.

To her, what Damon did was worse than Jace. Damon knew what Jace did. How could he do this to her? Telling her he loves her and then kissing another girl? She had had too much heart ache. The worst part was, he told her she deserved better than that and she believed him.

She knew it would happen. She listened to her heart, not her head and now that the cycle had repeated, she was alone again. It came quicker than she expected. She didn't catch her silver lining the first time and neither did he. They would never have reached it. They'd miss it every time. Why had she given in? Because she thought for one minute, that humanity wasn't just nasty and there could be a silver lining. But she was wrong. She was so wrong. And now she'd pay for it with more and more crying and the horrible feeling of loneliness.

Her stomach dropped and her breaths became urgent. She stormed out of the room with no clue in where she was going. She didn't care, as long as it was away from him. She didn't want to see his beautiful face ever again. Ugh, why did she do that? She had to stop thinking about his dreamy eyes and his sharp jawline.

She was in so deep that she couldn't stop thinking about him. She loved him. That was what she was afraid of. To fall in love with him. But she loved him so much that it hurt more than anything to let him go. All of a sudden something was over. Done. And she wasn't ready.

* * *

"There you are." Stefan smiled, walking over to Caroline. She was talking to some teenager. Wait. Wasn't that the bitch who just ruined Damon's relationship?

"Hey!" Caroline squealed in false excitement, hugging him as the girl left.

"Why were you talking to her?"

"No reason." She mumbled, looking in any direction but his. She was deflecting. "Why? Do you know her?"

"That's the girl who just kissed Damon and sent Elena in tears."

"Well is she ok?!" She panicked urgently. She was acting weird.

"No." He rolled his eyes. _'Obviously not.'_ He thought to himself. "Where were you?"

"Um...Just grabbing a drink."

"You're such a bad liar." He grunted, sternly. The whole thing was at the drink stand. "Where were you, Caroline?"

"I did a bad thing..."

 **I know, I'm a bitch. DON'T HATE ME. dw it's still a DE story. They had to have drama and stuff. No couple has a perfect relationship. There are bumps and bends along the road. Please keep reading! I promise they are going to be together. THEY ARE DAMON AND ELENA FOR FUCKS SAKE, THEY CAN'T KEEP AWAY FROM EACH OTHER!**

 **p.s. sorry for writing Caroline like this. But you know how she absolutely hated the idea of DE together? Well i'm sort of using that Caroline. DW tho she changes and is more supportive later just like in the show.**

 **Keep reading lovelies, it gets better — pinky promise!**

 **See you next Tuesday xx**


	9. We're Spiralling

**A/N: I have used some quotes from the song** _ **My Everything**_ **\- Ariana Grande. You'll get what I mean if you read it.**

 **Also, this is one of my favourite chapters so enjoy :)**

* * *

"Caroline!" He screamed. She went way too far this time. She'd always liked 'fixing' problems her friends had. Her, being a control freak wanted to control her friends lives. Pave the way to what her ideal situation for them would be. But it wasn't ideal for everyone and this time she had fucked it up, bad.

"I didn't think she'd be so upset over it, okay!" She defended. "I thought she'd be glad I cleared things up for her diseased brain." She rolled her eyes.

"You can't just fuck up her relationship because you don't like Damon, Caroline." He argued. It wasn't her place. It was never her place. Her place would be, sitting back and letting Elena run her own life. But she wasn't capable of that yet.

"You can't be mad at me! I told you I would do something, with you or without you."

"By do something, I thought you meant talk to her...or something like that."

"There's nothing I can do about it now." She sighed.

"You can tell her it was you." Stefan suggested with an eye roll.

"No. Way."

"Yes way!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes, Caroline! If you don't tell her by the end of the week, I will." He hissed, aggressively. "You have two days hours. I'm serious."

* * *

After the fight with Stefan the previous night and a long relaxing bath, Caroline decided to go to Elena's. Stefan was right. She had to tell her. She needed to hear it from Caroline.

She walked up to Elena's old house and took a huge breath — she guessed Elena wouldn't be at Damon's. As Elena opened the door she looked pale and unnourished, like she hadn't had blood in months and her skin was on the verge of grey. Caroline's stomach sunk at the sight of her.

"Hey." She smiled nervously — it finally dawned on her that this was _her_ fault. It was Caroline's fault that her friend was in this state. Elena attempted a smile, but failed as tears poured down her cheeks. Caroline offered her arms and she ran into them. Her smile faded quickly as she again realised Elena was hugging the person who ruined her relationship and she had no idea. Her stomach churned again and she pulled away. "Let's go upstairs."

"Let's do something."

"Like what?" Elena asked, weakly.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" Caroline beamed, trying to be her optimistic self.

"Cr-y." She stuttered, bursting into tears yet again as Caroline pulled her into her chest.

"Elena..."

"Tha-t's all I've be-en able to d-o." She heaved. "You we-re right abo-ut D-" She stopped at the D. It was too painful for her to say. She replaced it with, "Hi-m." She had always had a hard time getting over people but Damon wasn't easy to forget. He was imprinted in her memory. Engraved almost. Every time she looked at something she remembered how Damon took her there, how he kissed her there. When she looked at her skin she remembered him covering it with his warm kisses, sending vibrations through it. When she opened the door for Caroline, she remembered Damon standing there the second time she saw him. The sun caught his skin and eyes in the most perfect light. For a second, she thought he was an angel. _'He turned out to be the opposite',_ She thought as she waited for Caroline to say something _._

"No."

"You kn-ew he'd che-at on me." Elena breathed as her shaky hands wiped the moisture off her swollen skin and her broken smile turned into a fully formed frown.

"Why are you so sad then?" Caroline slipped. She didn't mean to ask her that — it only made her feel worse.

"Becau-se I lo-ve him." She sobbed. Caroline had made a huge mistake. She couldn't stand seeing her best friend like that, but what could she do? The damage was already done. Then she remembered her talk with Stefan at the party. She needed to confess. Elena would hate her but it would be better than watching her ruined like this.

"Elena, I need to tell you something." Caroline swallowed hard.

"I love you. I do-n't know wh-at I'd do If I didn't ha-ve you." She whispered, squeezing Caroline tighter for what felt like hours. SHIT. How was she supposed to tell her now? She was fucked beyond all fuck-titude. "Wha-t did you wan-t to tell me?"

"I love you too."

* * *

 _Dear Diary,_

 _After hanging out with Care, I felt a lot better. It's great to have a friend like her. Someone who's there for me all the time and knows what's right for me from the get go._

 _It's been two days since the party and I'm starting to come to terms with it. No doubt I still love him, but I need to get over love and be more independent. I'm starting to realise it'll probably be me, myself and I for the rest of my eternity._

 _Stefan called me today and asked me to meet him at the school. Weird. I don't really want to see him. He reminds me of...you know who. Lets call him 'Asshole'. I'm guessing it's about Asshole because he said it was important. I really don't want to talk about Asshole right now, but I already agreed to go. The thing is, the more I have to do with Stefan the closer I get to Asshole and I can't go anywhere near him right now. I can't even write his name. Yes, I'm working towards moving on, but it's been two days and I know it's going to take me a while. I'm hoping next time I write I'll have improved._

 _Anyway, I'm super pissed with myself. So pissed that if I was anyone else, I'd probably rip me to shreds. I knew what would happen when my cycle repeated and I didn't care. But I was an idiot. I still am for believing this time would be different. Because my theory still stands. Humanity is just nasty and there's no silver lining. Vampires are a product of that and they always will be. I just wish I stood by my promises when I figured it out. Now I have to start healing all over again. I hadn't completely healed from the last time either. Definitely not. So know it's going to be even harder._

 _What I wanted the most, was for Da...Asshole and I to end still loving each other. I wanted other causes to fuck us up. I wanted him to be pure in my mind._

 _What hurts the most is that now, even though he's ruined me beyond repair, I still see an angel when I think of him. First, there's the image of what he really is_ _— an Asshole_ _— but the image of the man I was in love with always shines through within a few seconds. The man that left me in awe every time he'd smile that 1000 watt smile. The man that was so delicate with my heart, putting the pieces back in their place with every kiss. The man that 'loved' me. That was the man I was in love with. It was like a different guy broke my heart. It hurts most because I know what he is and he's done but I don't think I'll ever stop loving him. No matter what I do, no matter how much I heal, I will always love Da...Asshole._

— _Elena_

* * *

"Hey." Stefan mouthed as Elena slowly waddled up to the school. She had pulled herself together and finally stopped the tears from spilling out. She didn't want Stefan to see her like that. He'd tell Damon and that was the last thing she wanted.

"Hi." She smiled in return, sitting next to him on one of those park type benches.

"You need to talk to Damon." He stated blankly, looking away from her. Was he serious right now?

"If that's what was so urgent, I'm leaving." She frowned, standing up. He grabbed her arm, forcing her to stay.

"Hear me out."

"Fine." She sighed, sitting back down. "But I don't want to hear his name. Call him _Asshole_."

"Fine." He bit back a giggle. After a long pause, he finally continued. "He's spiralling."

"And that's my problem, how?"

"Let me finish." He rolled his eyes. She nodded in surrender. "From what I can see, you are too. I know you were crying before you came, Elena. The dry water droplets that you tried to hide with makeup are still showing." He frowned. She quickly raised her hand to her face, trying to wipe them off. "He's drinking way too much. He wont come out of his room, and when he does, he comes back with fresh blood on his clothes. He won't eat blood bags anymore, that reminds him of you. He decided this morning, that he wants to desiccate. He — like you — can't hear your name. He doesn't want me to call you _Asshole_ , but whenever I mention your name, tears pool from his eyes and he kills another innocent. Dam... _Asshole_ , doesn't cry often. Or at least not in front of me. Whatever he did. Or whatever you think he did. It's not worth it. He needs you more than you think"

"Did you ever think about how I feel?!" She blurted as tears streamed down her cheeks. She felt the rage build up inside her. How could he defend Da... _Asshole_ after all he had done. "It's worse for me. I watched him kiss another girl. He just feels bad about doing it. Being cheated on is different to feeling guilty for cheating. And I would know. So, don't lecture me on misery."

"Then go to him! You obviously need each other!"

"He hasn't even bothered to come to me." She huffed.

"Because you told him not to! He thinks he is a guilty _Asshole_ who deserves to die, even though he's not! This is worse than he was when Katherine rejected him."

"What are you talking about? He is guilty." Now she was just confused.

"He didn't kiss her! Caroline set it up."

"But, Caroline _—_ "

"Doesn't like Damon." He hinted.

"Yeah..."

"So she compelled some chick to kiss him when you walked into the room. I told her to tell you, but I knew she wouldn't." He explained.

"She wouldn't." Elena doubted, shaking her head. She stood up and started pacing as tears poured down my cheeks again. All she had done in the last forty eight hours was cry, but she couldn't stop.

"Elena..."

"No, she wouldn't."

"Why are you so positive she wouldn't and Damon would?" He asked. Then it hit her. Why did she think Damon would? She saw it, but why didn't she hear him out? But Caroline? She thought she knew her.

"So what do I do?" She asked out loud. It was obvious. She knew what she had to do. She grabbed her keys and ran to her car. Her cycle hadn't ended yet and she wanted to enjoy him while she still could. While she still had the slim chance of reaching it with him. That silver lining. "Thank you, Stefan!"

* * *

Damon was sitting on the edge of the sofa, warmed by the fire. He was drunk out of his mind. Ric said it would help him desiccate. He didn't think he had ever drunk that much bourbon before. He had last nights dry blood on his lips that hung off the sides of his mouth, his eyes had leaked all the liquid they probably ever could and his clothes were drenched in bourbon. Why? He thought of burning himself, but he decided against it. He'd rather suffer for something he didn't do. He heard footsteps and groaned. Stefan needed to fuck off with this _let Elena go_ crap. He didn't want to. She was all he had. Even the idea of her was enough to keep him alive. Her lavender scented hair that he used to stroke and her supple rosy cheeks he'd run his fingers over.

"Stop trying Stefan! Go shape your hair and leave me alone." He called, staring at the fireplace.

"Wow." He heard a honey voice sigh. Elena? It couldn't be. He knew that voice anywhere. "It's been two days and this is what you amount to without me." She exhaled heavily. "I can't really talk, it's not like I wasn't a mess."

"Elena?" His voiced cracked. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry." She stated, her eyes watering for the millionth time this weekend. He debated whether this was a hallucination stimulated by the seventeen bottles he had downed. "I'm sorry for not hearing you out. I'm sorry for believing that you'd actually kiss that girl. I'm sorry I took Caroline's word over yours—"

"Elena..." He whispered, shaking his head in disbelief. She continued as her filled eyes released, stepping closer to him.

"I'm sorry for telling you not to bring me chocolates or come to my house at midnight with flowers or allow me to get a glimpse of your beautiful face." She bit back a small giggle, driving him crazy. It had been two days and he had missed that innocent giggle so much. "I'm sorry for telling you to never touch me again. I've missed your touch, to the point where I could barely breathe. I'm sorry for telling myself not to think about you when I should have been, because you are the best thing that has ever happened to me in my 170 years on this earth, and I'm an idiot for believing that you would do that to us. I'm sorry that my love for you has caused me — even when I'm angry with you — to put you above everyone else in my life. I'm sorry that I let you spiral into a mess."

"Elena, stop—"

"But most of all, I'm sorry that you weren't my everything until we were nothing. And I know sorry isn't the cure, but I love you, Damon."

He was speechless. He knew his gaze made him look like he'd seen a ghost but he didn't care. He needed her and she needed him and that was that. He kept swallowing, trying to find the words to explain how he felt about her. But he couldn't. He was never good with words. This time, he was the speechless one.

So he let his drink fall and crashed his lips against hers, moving his hand up to her cheek to push as deep into the kiss as possible. He needed to show her how much he loved her. But not through sex. That wasn't the type of healing they needed. What they needed was to lie down together and listen to each others heartbeats while they feel asleep, marvelling at how beautiful the other was. She returned the kiss, sucking all the blood off of his lips until he was clean.

"I love you." She panted, pecking his lips once more as she traced her finger from his locks to his jaw, then to his chin.

"I love you too, Robert Frost."

 **See what I did there? I used the 'I'm not sorry' Graduation speech Elena gave in 4x23 and basically made it opposite. Hope you liked it :) Hang on for next week!**


	10. Into The Woods

**Enjoy your DE :)**

* * *

Elena woke up to a light buzz next to her head. Her phone had been vibrating all night will calls and texts that were probably unimportant enough to ignore. She turned to her left to see a sleeping Damon. He had just fallen asleep after being constantly woken by that stupid phone and she couldn't wake him up again. So she checked her phone and walked outside. Her lock screen was filled with messages and missed calls and before she even looked at the name she knew who they were from.

 _ **\- Elena's phone -**_

 _You missed a call from:_ _ **Care bear**_

 _You missed a call from:_ _ **Care bear**_

 _ **Care Bear**_ _: Hey, can we talk?_

 _You missed a call from:_ _ **Care bear**_

 _You missed a call from:_ _ **Care bear**_

 _You missed a call from:_ _ **Care bear**_

 _You missed a call from:_ _ **Care bear**_

 _ **Care Bear**_ _: Are you okay?_

 _ **Care Bear**_ _: I heard you talked to Stefan_

 _ **Care Bear**_ _: I'm sorry :(_

 _You missed a call from:_ _ **Care bear**_

 _You missed a call from:_ _ **Care bear**_

 _ **Care Bear**_ _: Please don't be mad_

 _You missed a call from:_ _ **Care bear**_

 _ **Care Bear**_ _: Pwity pwease call me 'Lena_

 _You missed a call from:_ _ **Care bear**_

 _You missed a call from:_ _ **Care bear**_

 _ **Care Bear**_ _: I know it was wrong, but I thought I was helping you_

 _You missed a call from:_ _ **Care bear**_

Really? Helping her? If Elena needed her help she would've asked. Damon wasn't the problem, she was. Elena thought she knew her. Her 'best friend'. She closed the phone, rolling her eyes as she slumped back into the room.

"Morning." Damon grinned, reaching out for her hand to pull her back into bed. She grabbed it and kissed it before jumping next to him. "Why'd you go outside?"

"I got a message from Caroline. I didn't want to wake you up." She returned the smile, cuddling up next to him.

"I was already up." He breathed into her hair. "You didn't think to throw some clothes on before heading out into the hall?"

"Shut up." She giggled, burying her head into his firm chest. He chuckled in reply, caressing her soft locks with his fingertips.

"We―" He started. Before he could finish, her phone hummed familiarly and she sighed. She never knew she could get so sick of a sound.

"I bet it's Caroline again." She rolled her eyes, checking. "Yep."

"Just answer her."

"Why would I answer the bitch who broke us up?" She scoffed.

"What?" He asked, cocking his head up in confusion. When he sat up she fell out of his chest and she felt naked again. He was like her clothes. He kept her warm and made her feel comfortable.

"You didn't know?" She questioned. She assumed Stefan told him — but then again, it would've made Damon feel ten times worse if he knew it was set up and there was nothing he could do about it.

"Elena, what are you talking about?"

"Caroline compelled some girl to kiss you in front of me. I only found out yesterday when Stefan told me. That's why I came to you last night." She explained.

"Why would she do that?" He argued, his baby blues turning dark.

"She's claiming she was looking out for me." As soon as she said that, his teeth revealed themselves. If Caroline was in the room, he would have ripped her to shreds. "Hey, we're together now. That's all that matters." She reassured.

His eyes and teeth returned to normal as he leaned down to kiss her. The feelings that hit her the previous night, rushing back. "I love you."

"I love you more." She hummed.

"I doubt it." He laughed, rolling over so that he was hovering over her body, placing tiny butterfly kisses along her jawline.

"I missed you." She heaved, tousling her hands through his silky locks.

"It was only two days." He smirked, moving onto her collar bone.

"Shut up and take the compliment." She snickered, pulling his face back up to hers.

"Damon—I see you two made up." Stefan laughed, covering his eyes.

"Hey Steffy," Damon started as he covered her under the sheets. "There's this new revolutionary thing called knocking. You should try it sometime."

"Noted." He replied. "I was going to tell you to go talk to Elena. It looks like you've done anything but."

"Ha. Ha." Damon laughed falsely. Stefan still stood there. "Leave."

"Leaving."

* * *

Elena's phone had been going off all day and night and she had it. She wanted to pick it up just so she could tell Caroline to go fuck herself and stop calling her.

 _"What?!"_ She answered, fuming.

 _"Jeez, what's gotten into you?"_ A female voice replied. It wasn't Caroline.

 _"Bonnie?"_

 _"The one and only."_ Bonnie giggled.

 _"Sorry, I thought you were Caroline."_ Elena apologised, feeling terrible for yelling at the friend who stood by her side.

 _"What did she do?"_

* * *

After explaining as much as she could through the phone to Bonnie, she felt like crying again. She tried to hold it back but her weak eyelids let few tears escape. Thinking about her best friend screwing her over like that would forever be a tear jerker.

 _"I'm with you on this one."_ She replied.

 _"If you weren't, I'd be concerned."_ Elena laughed, scraping the tears off her moist cheeks. _"I miss you, Bon."_

 _"It's been two days."_

 _"I still want to see you."_ Elena chuckled, her laughter soon turning into heavy breaths and then to loud sobs. She wanted to see her now only girl friend. She wanted to have Bonnie distract her. Obviously Damon was her rock, but there are some things only a girl friend can do.

 _"I'm coming over. See you in 10."_

* * *

"Where'd you go?" Damon asked, pulling her into his muscly arms.

"I was talking to Bonnie." She smiled, looking up at him. All Elena wanted to do was be in his arms. Caroline couldn't hurt her there. No one could. His arms protected her more than anything and anyone.

"Yeah?"

"Mm." She nodded, pecking him on the lips. "She's coming over."

"Now?"

"Yeah. She wanted to see me."

"I'll go to the grill with Ric then." He grinned, letting her go to grab his jacket. Her body instantly rushed with emptiness again. Even with clothes on now, she felt naked.

"You can stay." She sung.

"I'd rather not listen to you two gossip about _vampire Barbie_ and how great I am in bed." He smirked, kissing her before heading out.

Before she got to shower, Bonnie barged through the door and pulled Elena into her arms.

"I'm getting a lot of hugs today." She smiled, hugging her back.

"Fine, I won't comfort you." She joked, pushing her away.

"I'm kidding."

"I know." Bonnie simpered as they sat in the parlour.

"Wait." Elena called, speeding to the cellar. She headed back with a bottle of Damon's bourbon.

"Damon. Will. Kill you." Bon giggled, shaking her head.

"I'm already dead." Elena shrugged.

* * *

After a good hour of chatting with Bon, Elena's phone rung. She figured Caroline had given up a while ago, so she picked it up without hesitation. "Hang on, Bon." She smiled.

 _"Hey, Baby."_ Damon cooed.

 _"Baby? You hate that word. You think it's sappy."_ Elena pursed her lips playfully.

 _"And I still do, but I happen to be feeling extra pathetic today."_ He smirked.

 _"And why is that?"_ She asked.

 _"I'm in love."_

 _"You've been in love for three months and you haven't said that word."_ She slightly smiled.

 _"Okay, you caught me. Can I steal you away from Bonnie tonight?"_

 _"Yeah, Bon and I are nearly finished up. What did you have in mind?"_ She asked, smiling widely now. Bonnie gave her a sly nudge.

 _"It's a surprise. Wear something warm."_ Damon answered. _"Be ready in two hours."_ He hung up.

"What did you have in mind?" Bonnie mocked in a girly voice.

"Shut up." She rolled her eyes. "Damon is taking me out tonight." She blushed.

"I gathered that." Bon quipped sarcastically, grabbing her hand and leading her to Damon's room.

* * *

After two hours of drinking at the grill with Ric, Damon decided the girls would be done with their gossip session and Elena would be ready. He quietly headed inside and tiptoed to their bedroom. As he walked up to the door, he overheard their conversation.

"You look amazing!" Bonnie squealed. "Damon won't be able to keep his hands to himself."

"Are you sure? I don't know." Elena sighed. He could hear her pacing. She always looked perfect. Why was she so worried?

"Yes. Why are you so nervous? You've been a couple for three months." Bonnie frowned.

"He just gets me all flustered." She sighed. If only she knew what she did to him.

"You really love him, don't you?"

"Of course. My love for him consumes me. I've never felt anything this real in my entire life." Elena replied.

"Then what are you worried about?"

"That's the problem." She groaned.

"Not this shit again." Bonnie huffed.

"Stop calling it shit." She defended. "I just...every relationship I've been in has ended the same way. Cheating. I don't see Damon to be someone like that, but it's still at the back of my mind telling me he's not my silver lining and that no one will be. I want him to be, it's just hard for me to let go and believe it. And I don't think he could do anything to change that." She heaved. He took a step back. Silver lining? What did that mean? Why had she never told him about these insecurities? _'Because she doesn't trust me',_ he thought. Now that he knew that, he'd do everything to make her let go.

"He'll stay with you." Bonnie smiled.

"Yeah, I know. My past is just taunting me."

"He loves you more than anything. Don't worry about it too much." Bonnie assured her.

"I'll try. Lets go downstairs." Elena stated. Damon sped downstairs and pretended he was pouring himself some bourbon.

"Hi." He smirked as Elena hugged him from behind.

"Hi." She returned. He turned around and gave her a deep kiss.

"And on that note, I'm leaving." Bonnie scoffed, rushing out the door.

"You look...perfect." He stuttered.

"Thank you." Her cheeks flushed with colour as she glared at the ground. He could already tell she felt more confident about herself when he said that. But he still didn't get why she wasn't confident. To him, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. "When did you get here?"

"Just a minute ago." He smiled. "You ready?"

"Yeah."

* * *

After half an hour of silent driving and holding hands, they pulled up at a campsite in the woods. Elena glared at him confused and followed him out. He grabbed three bags from the car and set up at an old family campsite next to the quarry waterfall.

"Camping?" She laughed.

"Bonnie told me you love camping. So, I decided we need to go." Damon huffed, setting up the tent.

"I love you." She smiled widely, placing her soft lips on his cheek.

"I love you too." He grinned, taking out his lighter to start a fire. She pulled a log over and they cuddled up to the campfire.

"You spoil me too much." Her lips twitched, lacing their fingers.

"Then I guess you don't want this." He shook his head sarcastically as he pulled out a necklace. It was a silver chain with a small blue stone for a pendant.

"Damon, it's beautiful." She gasped. Her smiling face gave him warmth. He'd do anything to keep that smile on her face. He brushed the hair off her neck and clipped it on, leaving a gentle peck where the chain was.

"Are you happy with me?" He asked nervously, breathing heavily after a long awkward silence.

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know..." He mumbled. He actually didn't. It was always something he had wondered. With his past, he needed to know. he couldn't relive the fake love Katherine gave him. He knew Elena was different, but he needed her to say so.

"Is this about Katherine? Or were you eavesdropping on Bonnie and I?" She asked, half frowning - half smiling. She read him so well.

"Honestly? A bit of both."

"Damon, I love you. More than I've ever loved anyone. I know you're scared to love again...and I know she scarred you're heart probably for life. But, I'm not Katherine. I never will be. And I know I'm unstable, and you need that stability as much as I do, but you make me happy."

"I know I'm just―"

"You're just scared. You're unsure. You're hurt, Damon. I promise you, I will do everything in my power to make it better. It might take a while, but I'll always be here. And I'll always be unsure about trust, but I'm sure about loving you."

"God, I love you so much." He breathed, leaning his head against hers. She slowly leaned forward, pressing her lips against his. The kiss was slow and beautiful and unlike their usual. Tears escaped his eyes as she ran her hands through his messy hair. "I won't doubt us again."

"You better not." She whispered, wiping his tears away, connecting their lips again.

* * *

"Damon?" She called, rubbing her eyes as she sat up.

"Morning, sleepyhead." He smiled, sitting on the log next to her sleeping bag. They ended up falling asleep on the floor outside, while gazing at the stars last night.

"Morning." She replied, pushing off the ground with her lanky arms and lowering herself onto the log next to him.

"Hungry?" He asked.

"A little." She yawned. He handed her and AB positive blood bag — her favourite.

"Drink up. We're going to the waterfall." He smirked.

"There's a waterfall?"

"Mm." He nodded.

"I don't have my bathing suit." She shook her head.

"I bought you one."

* * *

After sucking the blood bag dry, she headed to the tent to change into the bathing suit Damon bought her. She crawled in and saw a black _Victoria's Secret_ , bra style bikini top with matching bottoms laid on a towel. She smiled to herself as she slipped it on. She knew how much he loved her in black.

As she crawled out she noticed him in his trunks, standing over the fire. She drooled at his muscly chest as he turned around. She'd obviously seen it before, but the lighting was hitting him perfectly and she was melting.

"Re-ady?" She stuttered.

"Yeah." He smiled, blushing. He must have noticed her nervous state.

* * *

"Wow." She grinned as they finally reached the waterfall. She dipped her big toe in the water to see if it was cold. She knew it would be. "It's freezing."

"Come on, scaredy cat." He smirked, jumping into the water, splashing her.

"It's too cold!" She shivered, stepping back. Damon sped to her and picked her up, bridal style. "Put me down!" She squealed, trying to kick out of his tight grip.

"Okay, _Baby_." He simpered, throwing her into the water. It was the second time he said that word to anyone. He was in _that_ deep. As her head emerged from the icy lake, she shot him a bitchy look.

"As-sho-le." She shivered. He hopped in the water and grabbed her hand.

"Come on." He chuckled, pulling her towards the waterfall. They swam under it and she situated herself so that she was standing on a rock under the water — her body still fully submerged.

"It's so beautiful." She smiled as he wrapped his arms around her from behind.

"Just like you." He whispered against her neck. Elena was already quivering, but his cool breath sent her to the edge.

As he lifted his hands, tracing his fingers along her neckline and upper back, she gnawed on her lower lip. He traced the point where her bikini top tied with his lips as he slowly untied the bow. She should have stopped him — knowing this was public spot — but she couldn't. His lips did wonders to her body.

"If you were planning on doing this, why'd you even bring me a bathing suit." She bit her lip.

"So I can take it off you." He hummed against her ear.

As his lips laced her collarbone, she let out an almost silent moan, letting him know she wanted more. He moved his hands down to the other knot situated on her upper back and untied it, pulling off her bikini top and tossing it to the bank. He slowly traced her stomach and then her bikini line, pulling the bows on either hip simultaneously, throwing the cloth where he left the other.

"Your turn." She whispered, her breath shaky. He quickly ripped his trunks off and tossed them aside, his hands immediately returning to her stomach. His lips marked from her hairline, to the back of her neck, to her shoulder blades. Her body tensed as his hands caressed her lower back and hips. She breathed in too quickly and slipped off the rock.

"Let's take this back to the tent, clumsy." He chuckled, gripping her waist as he tugged her back to the bank. She shivered as she emerged from the water. She quickly grabbed her bathers before Damon picked her up and threw her over his shoulder.

"Damon!" She squealed, scratching his back as he sped them to the tent.

"Simmer down." He laughed, lowering her onto a towel.

* * *

After getting changed she crawled out of the tent and let Damon go in. They tried getting changed at the same time but they couldn't fit. They decided having sex in a tiny tent in the middle of the woods wasn't a good idea and that they'd wait till they got home.

Elena was waiting outside next to the fire when she heard leaves rustling. She assumed it was Damon and turned around.

"Damo―" She felt herself becoming weak. Her eyes faltered shut and her knees buckled. Vervain. Why was she always attacked? The last thing she heard was Damon calling her name in the distance as she was carried away.

 **Yay! DE ARE SO CUTE! that waterfall scene ;)**

 **See you guys Tuesday x**


	11. Kind Of

"Elena?" He called quietly as his eyes slowly opened.

"Damon." She croaked from the other side of this dark cell type room. "Who took us?"

"I didn't see."

"Why can't we just have one normal weekend?" She frowned after a long pause, rustling in her chains.

"We're vampires. We'll never be normal." Damon sighed, managing a smile. "Wherever we go."

"Where are we?"

"Looks like the Lockwood cellar." He said, stretching his arms. Even weakened, Elena had to take her breath when exposed to his arms. Those arms did things to her.

"Correct." Someone spat.

"Mason?" Damon questioned. "Mason Lockwood?"

"Right again."

"What do you want, man?" He tried to free his hands from the chains. The vervain was still flowing in a rich current through his bloodstream.

"I want to do to your girl, what you did to mine." Mason walked over to Elena, clutching her arm tightly as she stroked her hair. "And I want you to watch."

"What? Who are you talking about?" He asked. Damon was confused, hungry and drained. What the fuck was he on about.

"Katherine." He scowled, digging his nails into her arm. As she screeched at the pain, Damon cringed. It was by far the worst sound he had ever heard. Damon needed to regain his strength and bust them out of there — which required him to stall.

"Katherine?" He questioned. He was with Katherine? ' _Poor guy',_ He thought.

"You remember, don't you?" Mason started. "You ripped her heart out."

"She kidnapped Elena and asked me to kill Elena's ex-friend. What did you expect me to do? Keep this up, you'll be laying in a ditch with your evil vampire slut girlfriend."

"Katherine isn't like that." Mason shook his head.

"You know nothing about Katherine." Damon grunted. When people defended her, his blood boiled.

"She loved me." He defended.

"She loved you?" Damon chuckled. Katherine never knew how to love — Damon would know.

"Do you love Elena?" He asked as he pulled out a gun — probably filled with wooden bullets.

"Yes." Damn answered in a serious tone.

"Now you're gonna know how it feels to have the one person that's keeping you sane, gone." Mason scowled, shooting her leg. As she squealed, Damon felt his anger growing inside him like a fire.

"You wanna punish me for what I did? Fine, do it. Punish me, torture me, kill me for all I care, but leave Elena out of this." Damon growled, his strength slowly intensifying.

"I'd rather let you watch her die." He grunted. Damon snapped the chains off and sped to him, pinning him to the wall. He was stronger than Mason — it wasn't a full moon.

"You okay?" He asked Elena, turning his head just enough so he could see her as he tightened his grip on Mason's neck.

"Yeah." She replied, yanking the bullets out of her leg.

"Any last words?"

"At least I get to be with Katherine." He heaved.

"God, why are you so obsessed with Katherine?" Damon rolled his eyes. "Oh right, you're stupid like I was. Well since you won't get to experience the actual process of loving her, I'll give you the short. First, she makes you fall in love with her. Then, you find out she's been sleeping with your brother too, but you're okay with it because you love her. Next, she fakes her death and you wait 145 years for her to come out of a tomb she was never in. And finally, she pretends she was looking for you the whole time and you — being a lovesick idiot — believe her, only to find out she fed you that lie for sex and when you ask her whether she loves you, she tells you it was never you that she loved and it was always your brother."

"Peo-ple cha-nge." Mason croaked.

"For the record, the day I killed her she asked me to kill Caroline so she could be with Stefan. She didn't mention anything about your pathetic ass."

"You're ly-ing. Ka-therine lo-ved me."

"No. Katherine will only rip your heart out," He groaned as tears rolled down his cheeks. Mason pulled out his gun and shot Damon several times through the chest with the strength he had left. "Let me do it for her." Damon growled, shoving one hand into Mason's chest and pulling his heart out, just like he did Katherine's.

"Damon." Elena whined, standing up. He threw the heart onto the floor and leaned against the wall for support. She must have pulled all the bullets out of her leg, because she had completely healed. Blood pooled onto Damon's clothes and he still had six bullets buried in his chest. "Lets go home."

"Okay." He coughed. She grabbed him by the waist and sped them home and into their room.

"I'll be right back."

* * *

"She's not talking to me!" Caroline defended, crossing her arms as she collapsed onto her bed.

"You haven't tried hard enough, Caroline. If you were her, would you talk to you?" Bonnie asked her, plonking herself on the desk chair. Caroline hadn't thought about Elena. That was her main problem. Actually, her only problem. Thinking about what's best for Caroline, not her friends.

"No." She admit. "So what do I do?"

"Are you really sorry?" Bonnie raised a brow, kicking her foot off the ground to make the desk chair spin.

"Yes." She frowned. "I don't know what I was thinking. I need her."

"You're thinking about what you need. What does she need?"

"Damon." Care sighed.

"Yes, but more importantly?" Bon groaned sarcastically.

"My approval of Damon?" Caroline tried.

"Exactly. So you go over there and you pour your heart out into an apology and tell her that you were wrong about Damon."

"What if she shuts the door in my face?" Caroline asked, nervously.

"Then you give her some time." Bonnie smiled, genuinely. Bon just wanted them to make up. It was hard being in the middle and and not being biased. Truthfully, she would never talk to Caroline again if it was her, but it's not. It's Elena.

"Thanks Bon."

* * *

Damon tried to pull the bullets out, but it was no use. He needed someone else to do it. After ten minutes, Elena returned with their stuff from the campsite and a medical kit. She dumped their possessions onto the floor and sat on the bed next to him with the kit.

"Take your shirt off." She demanded, tugging at the hem of his t-shirt.

"Kinky." He quipped as he lifted it off and tossed it to the side, squirming at the pain. She pulled out a pair of medical tweezers and started to pull out a bullet.

"He got you good."

"I got him better." He smiled softly. She yanked one out and he groaned. As his skin healed, she moved onto the next one.

"Yeah." She grinned.

"You owe me three." He smirked, gently nudging her elbow.

"What for?" She asked, pulling out the second. He flinched at the pain and she quickly grabbed his hand, allowing him to relax.

"I saved you from Handsy," He started.

"Who?"

"Jace."

"Oh...One." She giggled.

"From Kather-Ow!" He scowled as she yanked the third out.

"Sorry." She apologised, squeezing his hand again. "That's two."

"And from Lockwolf. Three."

"Two." She corrected him, yanking the fourth out.

"What for?"

"This." She beamed, pulling out the fifth.

"Okay fine. Two." He chuckled.

"I had a great time." She smirked, looking him in his baby blues as she yanked the last bullet out. He squirmed, squeezing the life out of her hand. "Besides getting kidnapped...it was perfect. You were perfect."

"I love you." He sung as she wiped the blood off his healed skin with a warm towel.

"I love you too." She breathed, laying next to him.

"Today, when you were getting tortured, I felt like I was going to die." He admit. She buried her head in his healed chest. "I knew I loved you, but I think I realised something. No one tells me who I love. Especially not Mason and definitely not Caroline. And I'm not gonna let someone else's view of us stop me from loving you, or being with you or building a future with you, because...you are my life." He breathed.

She sniffed at that, trying to keep in her tears as she kissed his collar bone. He placed one hand on her cheek and pulled her face up, planting his lips on hers. The fireworks still went off. Every time they kissed, it felt like the first.

"We-" He started. The doorbell rang before he could finish.

"I'll be right back." She simpered, lifting off the bed.

* * *

Elena headed downstairs and opened the door. Her.

"Hi." She smiled.

"Bye." She rolled her eyes as she started to close the door.

"Wait, Elena." She frowned. "At least let me apologise in person."

"Fine." She gave up. Elena didn't really put up a fight, but she was tired and really didn't want drama. She wanted to get this over with and run back up to Damon. Caroline didn't break her heart, she punctured it and as much as she hated to admit it, Elena kind of missed her. So she'd put up with the apology, but she wouldn't forgive her. She'd say she needed time, but she'd get over it eventually and be able to move past it. It would take more time than Caroline wanted, and she'd make that clear. She'd finish it off with a friendly hug, but not too friendly. Friendly enough to make Elena seem genuine, but not friendly enough to suggest they were going straight back to the way they were before. She ran through her plan in her head as if she were creating a lie. But she was being absolutely honest. She just wanted to find the quickest way to tell Caroline how she felt and then rush back up to Damon.

"Elena, I am so sorry." She sobbed. "To think that I knew what was best for you was way out of my control. I know now that Damon is the one for you. He sticks by you. He protects you. He brings out the best in you. And he wouldn't cheat on you. He's better for you than I am. I'm sorry for pretending to comfort you and not telling you when I had the chance. If you forgive me, I will never let my pride get in the way of our friendship again. And you can hate me, but I need you. I need my best friend."

"Honestly Care, I kind of miss you, but what you did is not easily forgivable. That being said...I'd like to move past it. Yes, I need time, but you have forever to make it up to me." Elena smiled weakly, the tears she once cried staying locked inside as Caroline ran into her arms.

"I kind of miss you too. I know we won't go back to the way we were straight away and I'm not expecting that. I can wait. I just need you back in my life." Caroline breathed into her hair, her tears running down onto Elena's jumper. "I just need my best friend back."

"Me too, Care." Her lips twitched into a larger smile. "You can let me go now."

"Oh, sorry." Caroline laughed. "I'll go now."

"Bye Care." She waved.

"Bye 'Lena." Care replied, walking to her car. Elena closed the door and sped back upstairs to Damon. When she walked in, he was in his boxers on his side with his back to Elena. She crept up to the bed and planted her lips on his bicep.

"Damon." She hummed. She listened closely and heard his soft breaths. The regulated kind. The kind he made when he was sleeping. "Damon?" She asked quietly this time. He must have been really tired to fall asleep at 6pm. She was disappointed, but understood. He went through a lot and she couldn't complain when he saved her. She felt another small twitch at the edge of her lips and smiled widely. She tiptoed across to her side of the bed and lay on her side to face him. She gave his a small peck on his sleeping lips and snuggled up close to him. He almost by default lifted his arm and coiled it around her, turning her around so they were spooning. She smirked to herself and fell asleep in the heat of his arms.

 **So...Kind of a filler chapter but I have big plans for NEXT WEEK! Stay tuned x**


	12. Oh Baby

"Morning." Damon breathed into Elena's hair as he noticed her eyes flicker open. They were still spooning, his arms snaked around her waist.

"Morning." She yawned, turning herself around so her front was to his.

"Where did you go last night?" He asked.

"I was talking to Caroline." She stated. "She apologised."

"You didn't accept it, did you?" He questioned. She stared at him guiltily. "Elena."

"What was I supposed to do. She really meant it."

"I'm not buying it." He scoffed, glaring directly at her.

"Damon." She sighed.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's just hard to forgive the person who tried to tear us apart." He sighed, planting a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I―" He started. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, interrupting them. "Again?"

"I promise I'll be back." She assured him, pecking his lips and walking outside to answer the phone.

 _"Hello?"_

 _"Elena, Can you come over for a girls night?"_ Bonnie replied, her voice cracking slightly.

 _"Well I was going to do something with Damon..."_ She trailed. She felt horrible for putting their relationship off all the time. She only had a short period of time before her cycle renewed and she couldn't waste it. But Bon Bon if needed her, she'd be there

 _"Please, it's urgent."_ Bonnie sobbed. Elena could imagine the hot tears streaming down her face as she curled up in bed.

 _"What's wrong, Bon?"_ Elena asked. Bonnie was usually the one that fixed everyone else's problems, or comforted her friends. She was never the one in trouble. She was the mother hen. So if she was upset, Elena needed to be there for her. It was the least she could do after all Bonnie's done for her.

 _"I need to tell you in person."_ She sniffed _."Is it okay if Caroline comes?"_ She asked nervously.

 _"Yeah, we made up. I'll be right over."_ Elena hung up, speeding back into the room to pack her clothes.

"Woah, Speedy Gonzales." Damon chuckled, lifting himself off the bed.

"Damon, I need to go." She huffed as he strode over to her slowly. "There's something wrong with Bonnie an―"

"I know." He sighed. He must have been listening. She wasn't angry with him though. "Go. We'll have our time another day."

"I'm sorry." She frowned, situating her head in the crook of his neck as she wrapped her arms around his waist. He coiled his arms around her in return.

"It's ok." He heaved, placing a gentle kiss in her hair. "She needs you."

"So do you." She argued.

"Elena. Go."

"Okay." She smiled softly, pulling his face to hers, planting her lips on his. "I love you."

"I love you more." He whispered into her locks. "Now go."

* * *

Bonnie had been vomiting all day. At first she thought it was a stomach bug, but the symptoms kept showing. After Caroline left to go see Elena, she rushed to the drug store and bought three. She knew she only needed one, but she wanted to be sure.

The same results showed on all three. She needed her girls.

* * *

"Bonnie?" They both knocked on her bedroom door. They knew where the key to the house was so they let themselves in.

"Hey guys." She tried to smile. It ended up being a lopsided frown.

"Bon." Elena frowned, pulling her into her arms, Caroline hugging her from the back.

"What's wrong?" Caroline asked, concerned. She sat on her bed and they followed.

"I'm pregnant." She sobbed. Their jaws dropped to the floor and they stared at each other.

"What?" Caroline asked, her pupils fully dilated.

"I'm pregnant." She repeated. "Guys?"

"Sorry Bonnie. It's just...surprising." Elena snapped out of her trance — Caroline still enthralled in hers. "Congratulations!" She exclaimed, pulling Bonnie into a tighter hug than before, Caroline soon joining. "Why are you upset about it?"

"I'm so young and I've only known him for a little while, so it's just really confronting." She explained.

"We'll help you through it, Bon."

"Thanks guys." She smiled widely. It was great having supportive friends like them. They always had her back.

"Who? When? Where?" Caroline asked eagerly. She knew she couldn't wait to ask that.

"His name is Jason." Bonnie smiled. "It was two weeks ago at the grill."

"Bonnie!"

"What?! I was really drunk!" She defended. "We're going out now."

"So when can we meet the lucky guy?" Elena smirked, nudging her.

"Tomorrow night at the grill. I'm sure he'd love to meet you guys." She simpered. She paused for a minute. She needed to tell Elena before she saw him. Bonnie knew she hated him and surprising her tomorrow wasn't a good idea. Especially when he broke her heart. "I have a feeling you're not going to like him."

"Why not?" Elena asked.

"He's made a lot of...past mistakes." She trailed.

"I'm sure he's great. Can I bring Damon?" Elena asked. "I keep putting our time off."

"Sure." Bonnie grinned. She couldn't tell her now. It would hurt her too much. "You can bring Stefan, Care."

"I would, but he doesn't really want to talk to me right now." She heaved, swallowing hard.

"Why?"

"You know..."

"Oh."

"Yeah." Caroline frowned.

* * *

Damon woke up to an Elena-less bed. It was cold and empty without her. He sat up and threw a shirt on before grabbing his phone. He needed to call her. They hadn't really had the chance to enjoy their time together and he wanted to plan something with her so that no one else could steal her away.

He dialled her number and raised the phone to his ear. _"Hey."_ She answered. She could feel her warm smile infecting him through the phone.

 _"Hey, gorgeous."_ He blushed. Just the sweet honey of her voice did that to him.

 _"Stop that."_ She sighed. Did he upset her?

 _"Stop what?"_

 _"Stop being so cute."_ She giggled.

 _"I'm not cute."_ He denied, shaking his head as he gnawed on his lower lip. Lately he had become a lovey dovey version of himself and it was weird. He'd go out of his way to make her happy, he'd get nervous when she was in the room. His cheeks would flush red when she spoke and She'd make him less careless. He reminisced her lilac scent when she was away and it almost hurt. The absence of her was detrimental to his health.

 _"Yeah?"_

 _"I'm handsome and tough,"_ He defended. _"but never cute. That's your job."_

 _"Really?"_ She joked. _"Prove it."_

 _"Fine. How?"_

 _"Bonnie asked us to come to the grill tonight to meet her new boyfriend. Whoever shows any type of affection to the other first, doesn't get to choose what we do tomorrow night."_ She explained.

 _"Why not tonight?"_ He pleaded.

 _"Because, tonight is about Bonnie."_

 _"She needs a whole night to introduce us to her boyfriend?"_ He asked. He heard a bunch of muffled whispers on the other end of the phone. Thanks to his vamp hearing, he was able to make out Elena saying, _'can I tell him?...okay.'_

 _"Bonnie is pregnant."_ She blurted out. Did he hear her correctly?

 _"What?"_

 _"Bonnie. Is. Pregna_ ― _"_

 _"I heard you, I'm just...surprised."_ Heinterrupted.

 _"So was I."_ She laughed.

 _"So her new boyfriend is_ ― _"_

 _"The father, yeah."_ She shrugged.

 _"Damn, Bon Bon does get around."_ He chuckled.

 _"I CAN HEAR YOU!"_ Bonnie snatched the phone.

 _"I'm joking."_ He apologised. _"Congratulations."_

 _"Thank you."_ She giggled.

 _"Back."_ Elena stated. _"And off speaker."_

 _"Damn, she's moody."_ He grinned.

 _"Tell me about it."_ She breathed. _"I got to go, but meet us tonight at 7."_

 _"Cool. I love you."_

 _"I love you too."_

* * *

He walked into the Grill to see Elena, Bonnie and Bitchy Barbie sitting in a booth. He used to only call her Barbie, but he added Bitchy about a week ago. He headed over, remembering their deal. He couldn't show her any interest, affection or attention to Elena. Fuck. She was wearing a low cut black tank top with a short denim skirt. Elena knew how to win start strong, but he was going to win. He was sure of it.

"Hey, Damon." They smiled in unison as he sat down next to Elena. That way he didn't have to look directly at her.

"Elena, Bonnie, Blondie." He replied, chucking Caroline a sarcastic wink, letting her know he was still pissed. "So where's the unlucky guy?"

"He'll be here soon." Bonnie scoffed.

"Where is Stefan?" He asked.

"He's not coming." Caroline frowned.

"I'm gonna get some drinks." Elena smirked, standing up. "Excuse me." She simpered, bending over, revealing her red thong. Damon's mouth watered and he felt himself grow. He swallowed hard, trying to restrain himself from sitting her down on his lap and teaching her not to tease him like that. He controlled his urges as she walked to the bar.

"What was that?" Bonnie asked. She knew something was going on and honestly, they weren't really hiding it well.

"We're having a competition." He said, fiddling with his hair. So far, he wasn't doing well.

"Elaborate."

"The first one to show the other affection, has to let the other choose what we do tomorrow night." He explained.

"So she's teasing you?" She asked.

"Obviously." He rolled his eyes. He wanted to grab Elena, speed them home and give her the most mind blowing night of her life. But they were there for Bonnie.

"Go Elena." She laughed.

"Why not, Go Damon?"

"What are we talking about?" Elena asked, placing six shots of tequila on the table.

"Nothing." He smiled, stepping out to let her in. He didn't want her winning and he knew if she did it again, he might not have been able to stop himself from taking her right there on that table.

"Elena, I can't drink." Bonnie rolled her eyes.

"Hence why I brought six shots. Two each for the rest of us." She grinned, downing her first. Damon downed his two one after the other. If he was going to survive the night, he needed them.

* * *

After 25 minutes of drinking and talking, Bonnie stood up.

"He's here." She smiled, standing in the way of the booth. She covered his figure with body so Elena couldn't see his face as he slowly walked up. "Promise you won't hate me?" She asked, looking her in the eyes.

"Why would I hate you?"

"Just promise me." She pleaded.

"Okay, I promise." She gave in. Something was definitely off. Bonnie stepped out of the way to reveal no other than Elena's asshole, dip shit, scumbag, dick face ex boyfriend, Jace Cooper.

"This is my boyfriend, Jason." She smiled weakly. WHAT THE FUCK? Was she serious? How could Elena not get mad? Bonnie was dating the ex that cheated on her and broke her heart. She felt tears sting the rim of her eyelids as she squeezed Damon's hand.

"Elena?" He asked, smiling. _'How dare he smile'_ She thought. Fucking asshole.

"Scum face." She grinned falsely, clinging to Damon's arm now.

"Okay." He frowned, sitting next to Caroline. "How have you been?" He really had the audacity to ask that? Who the fuck did he think he was?

"Great." She smirked, turning and basically making out with Damon's jaw.

"Um...Elena, can I speak to you for a minute?" Bonnie asked, her teeth clenched.

"Sure." She scoffed. Damon stood up to let her out and she followed Bonnie to the bathrooms. "What?"

"You promised you wouldn't get upset."

"I didn't know my cheating ex boyfriend was your new one at the time." She growled.

"Elena, I know he hurt you―"

"That's an understatement." Elena scoffed.

"I thought you would accept my decision and support me. I need you right now." She pleaded.

"Bonnie, I'm supporting you in your pregnancy but not in your relationship." Elena rolled her eyes.

"Are you jealous?"

"No! Are you serious? Why do you think I'm angry?" Elena laughed. "I'm sorry." She sighed, pulling Bonnie into a hug. "I'm angry because I'm scared he's going to hurt you ― or worse, you're baby ― just like he hurt me."

"I know what I'm doing, Elena." She assured, rubbing Elena's arm in long oval shapes.

"I know. As long as he doesn't hurt you, I'm ok with it."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Elena breathed. She knew it was going to be hard, but as long as Bonnie was happy she thought she could deal with it. Jace didn't mean anything to her, she just didn't want to see Bonnie get hurt too.

They walked back to the booth and Jace was flirting with Caroline. She wasn't giving him the time of day, but was he serious? Ugh. She couldn't stand him. Elena coughed, announcing their presence and Damon stood up again. Damon looked like he was about to kill himself. Jace stopped talking to Caroline and took Bonnie's lips into his. _'Ew.'_ Elena thought, cringing. He was sucking her face off. What was even more _ew_ , was that Elena used to kiss him like that.

"Hey guys, I think I'm going to go." Caroline sighed. Picking up her purse. They let her out and she hugged Bonnie. "Congratulations."

"Shh." Bonnie whispered, knowing only the vampires in the room could hear her. "I haven't told him yet."

"Congratulations on what?" Jace asked.

"On...your relationship!" Caroline squealed.

"Nice save." Elena whispered. Caroline giggled in return.

"Thanks." He grinned. Couldn't she just get Damon to kill him?

Caroline left and Bonnie sat back down. Jace wrapped his arm around Bonnie and Elena cringed again. She wasn't jealous, she was just annoyed for Bonnie. Knowing that was her, less than six months ago made Elena sad for her. She knew him. He wasn't worthy of her and he wasn't of Elena either. But she promised Bonnie she'd stay strong for her, and that was what she was going to do. He suck on her neck and Elena almost thew up. Bonnie didn't deserve that false love.

"I need some air." Elena heaved, bending over Damon before he could get up to let her out. She speed-walked outside to the park across the road from the Mystic Grill. As she sat down on a bench, she supported her head with her hands, covering her eyes.

"I won." Damon half chuckled, half sighed. Elena's eyes were covered, but her ears had tuned to his voice. She could pick him out in a sea of thousands. His voice made pretty singers who sung pretty songs sound dull. His voice made everything else sound ugly. Boring. His voice gave her comfort. And all she could hear was his voice.

"What?" She asked, lifting her head up.

"The bet. I won." He smirked.

"I forgot." She admit, tracing the tips of their fingers before interlocking them as he sat down next to her.

"What's wrong?" He asked. She didn't think she made it that obvious.

"Jace." She stated blankly.

"Is that it?" He raised a brow. He read her so well.

"No." She sighed.

"Tell me." He hummed softly, pinning her hair behind her ear.

"When Bonnie told me she was pregnant, I feel like I didn't react the way I should have." She explained.

"Why not?"

"Because...I think I was...I don't know..."

"Jealous." He finished. That was word she was afraid to say. Bonnie had a chance at her silver lining. Sure, Jace would probably leave her, but she was having a baby and she would find another _'one'_. Because every time was the first time for her. She had one lifetime. Elena not only had billions of lifetimes to fail, but couldn't procreate. Something she always wanted to do. She was extremely jealous.

"Yeah. A little." She lied. "I mean I've always wanted a family. Before...you know. So It's kind of a bummer of a reminder that it's never going to happen for me." She frowned. She noticed him shaking his head at the corner of her eye. Then it hit her. She never really thought about whether he wanted kids. It never came up in their conversations, but she was only thinking about what she wanted. She was being selfish. Then she thought about how lucky she was. She didn't deserve his love, but he gave it all to her anyway. All of him. "But..." She sung, moving her body to position her head on his chest. "To get to have a life with you...Is also what I've always wanted. So it will be good. Okay?"

"I can't give you what you want, Elena." He frowned, glaring at his feet. She stared directly at his face.

"Neither can I, Damon." She shook her head, burying it his solid torso.

"Yeah, but―"

"Why do you never give yourself any credit?" She argued, gazing at his sad expression. He didn't answer her, so she continued. "You spoil me all the time, you love me through everything, you always cheer me up when I'm upset. I don't get it. You are everything I need, Damon. And it was selfish of me to think that I couldn't be happy being a vampire with you. Because being a vampire, means spending the rest of my life with you. Waking up every morning, to the face that gives me my happiness. All I want is you, Damon." She explained. She told him not only what he wanted to hear, but what she did, because hearing it helped her believe it was possible. But was it really? Her diseased brain kept repeating; _'humanity is just nasty and there's no silver lining.'_ and all she wanted to do was erase that part of her memory. But she couldn't. It'd still be there telling her she'd never reach that silver lining and this thing, this love she felt with Damon was just her heart occupying itself until the next lifetime came around. But she wouldn't give up. No. She couldn't give up, because the smallest chance at a life with Damon was infinitely better than one without him.

"What would I do without you?"

"You're never going to know, because you're never going to be in a situation where you don't have me." She smiled weakly, looking back at her feet. The large possibility that she was lying to him hurt her heart in the worst way it could. But he needed to hear that from her.

"I love you." He whispered into her hair as he kissed her forehead. She turned her head to catch his lips with hers. Their lips collided and she lost herself. His warm lips filled her cold body with a burning fire. An eternal flame. He kissed her like he was drowning and she was air. She pulled away smiling, running her cold hand along his jaw.

"I love you too." She smirked against his lips.

 **More cuteness coming! I love cute DE. DE fluff is the shit. Anyway hope you liked xo, stay tuned for next Tuesday!**


	13. Caught A Glimpse

**M rated ahead! Enjoy!**

* * *

Damon and Elena walked back into the grill, their fingers intertwined. As they headed back to the booth, they noticed Bonnie and Jace had disappeared.

"Where'd they go?" Elena asked, glaring at the seats they were sitting in before they went outside.

"I don't know." He shrugged.

"Bonnie's purse is still here." She frowned, letting go of Damon's hand as she rushed to pick it up. "Something's wrong."

"She probably just left it here." He suggested.

"No, Bonnie wouldn't leave like that." She shook her head as her eyes frantically searched the room. "I'll check the bathroom, you check outside."

"Hey Elena, I think I found them."

"W-Oh." She stuttered as she saw Bonnie making out with Jace at the bar. She couldn't be more disgusted. She wanted to go home, so she decided to tell Bonnie. She coughed, announcing her presence. "I think we're gonna go, Bon."

"Okay, thanks for coming guys." She smiled, pulling Elena into a hug, soon moving on to hug Damon. Elena watched Jace twitch with jealously at Damon and Bonnie and she bit back a laugh. He hated Damon. Probably because Elena got with him so quickly after they broke up.

"Bye." She smiled, taking Damon's hand again as they walked out of the grill. She just wanted to sleep.

* * *

Caroline kept calling Stefan. He honestly didn't want to talk to her. The girl who tried to ruin his brother's relationship wasn't the girl he fell in love with. Someone like that wasn't for him. But he couldn't just stop loving her.

He has contemplated answering her. He shouldn't have wanted to forgive her, but he did. The past week had been so boring without her and as crazy as it seemed, he missed her control freakiness. It was a part of him now.

He turned the shower off and searched for his towel. Remembering he left it on his bed, he sped into his room and grabbed the towel, startled by Caroline laying on his bed.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, walking over to his dresser. He didn't mind that he was naked in front of her. It wasn't like she hadn't seen it before. He pulled out his boxers, t-shirt and jeans and quickly threw them on.

"You won't return my calls, so...I thought I'd come here and talk to you." She sighed, sitting up as he sat next to her.

"What did you expect?"

"I apologised to Elena. We're good now." She defended, her eyes darting to the floor.

"That's great..."

"Why are you upset then?" She asked, innocently.

"Because you've become selfish Caroline!" He snapped. "Why would I not be upset about you ruining my brother's relationship? You've changed. That was never you before."

"At least Damon's talking to me. It was his relationship I ruined, not yours." She argued, moving his face to look at hers. She was right. If Damon was over it, then why wasn't he? "I made a mistake. I'm sorry. Why are you shutting me out for it?"

"I don't know." He sighed, his eyes connecting with hers. It was pointless. She was sorry and it was over. "Fuck it." He grunted, planting his lips on hers. It wasn't a heated kiss, it was more of a _sorry_ kiss. A _we're good now_ kiss.

"Sorry."

* * *

Elena woke up with her head pounding. She was uncomfortable and sitting up. Her head was leaning against a window and her vision was blurry. When her eyes adjusted, she saw nothing but road. She was in a car. She turned her head to see Damon driving.

"Morning."

"Again?" She asked, smiling. He carried her again. She giggled inwardly, remembering her reaction last time he kidnapped her. Frantic, hesitant, annoyed. This time? Calm, collected, ecstatic. Georgia was one of her favourite memories of her and Damon. It was their first real kiss. No doubt, he wouldn't disappoint this time. "You could've just asked me to go somewhere with you."

"Yeah, but that would be boring." He smirked.

"Where are we this time?" She smiled.

"The city that never sleeps." He stated, glancing over at her.

"New York?"

"New York." He confirmed.

"Why New York?" She asked. She didn't mind going to New York, but was there a reason? Where could he take her in New York?

"No reason." He smirked.

"Okay." She simpered.

"We're almost there."

"What time did we leave?" She asked. New York was a long way — probably shorter than Georgia though — was he really bothered to drive there for her? Yes.

"5pm." He stated.

"5pm?"

"Mm." He mumbled, nodding his head.

"What time is it now?"

"11pm."

"I've been asleep for six hours?" She asked, staring out the window.

"Mm." he nodded. "You hungry?"

"Yeah."

"Here." He grinned, passing her a blood bag from behind him.

"I love you." She beamed, sipping on the blood.

"I love you too."

"I love you more."

"Bullshit." He snarked sarcastically, snatching the bag off her and taking a sip.

"It's not bullshit." She snickered.

"Bullshit." He repeated.

"Shut up." She giggled, snatching it back.

"Whatever, blushy."

"I'm not blushing." She shook her head, dropping the blood bag, raising her hands to her cheeks.

"Made you look." He laughed, stealing the pint from her lap. "Now you're blushing."

"Shut up."

* * *

"I can't raise a baby on my own!" Bonnie yelled, shuffling in her seatbelt.

"I never said you had to." Jace argued, scrunching his fists around the steering wheel.

"You might not be back in time." She sighed.

"You can wait two months."

"No, I can't." She breathed.

"Why not?" He rolled his eyes.

"Because this isn't just my baby. It's yours too. When I told you, you weren't even happy. You told me you would deal with it because you had to. You have to help me through this. You're older than me. I'm only 23. I can't do this on my own." Bonnie argued.

"Neither can I. You're asking for a lot."

"No I'm not. I asked you to help me. That's the minimum. You want to leave me alone for two months. How am I supposed to cope? Just tell me you'll help me." Bonnie cried.

"I can't do that." He raised his voice, tightening his grip on the wheel.

"You promised you'd be there for the birth." Bonnie grunted, shaking her head. Elena was right. Jace wasn't trustworthy. He never would be. She had every right to be angry with Bonnie. She was looking out for her. It wasn't jealousy.

"Am I just supposed to let this opportunity go? I finally got a job in Colorado." Jace growled, his body flashing with fire as sweat built up on his face.

"Is a job more important than your baby?" Bonnie asked. This was the test. All he had to do was say no.

"Yes." He shouted, crushing her arm with one fist, taking his eyes off the road.

"Jace, that hurts." She whined, trying to flick his fingers off. He only gripped tighter at that, causing her arm to ooze with blood. "Jace seriously, stop. I'm sorry. Please don't hurt me." She sobbed, squirming under his fist. He tightened and his grip and clenched his teeth. "Jace!"

"What?" He spat, taking his other hand off the wheel.

"Watch the road!"

* * *

"Where are we this time?" She asked as he pulled up at a hotel.

"Manhattan. We're staying here for the night." He stated, parking his car.

"We're staying in a hotel for one night again?" She asked, rolling her eyes. Was he trying to recreate their last road trip?

"Yep." He stated, popping the _p_.

"Recreating our last road trip?" She asked, scrunching her face. She wanted this time to be different. In no way was last time not amazing. Elena just wanted him to one up Georgia.

"This may be a one night road trip, but no way is it going to be like the last." He grinned, taking her hand.

After they collected their room key, they walked into the elevator and Elena pressed their floor. Damon smirked as he leaned over her and pressed another button.

"What are you doing?" She asked, shaking her head.

"Come." He grinned as the elevator stopped at the floor he pressed. He grabbed her hand and tugged her with him.

"Where are we going, Damon? Our room isn't on this floor." She argued. Damon didn't answer her. He just kept walking as she slumped behind. "Wow." She stated as he stopped at the hotel pool and spa. Damon tugged his shirt off and tossed it aside along with his shoes. "Damon, what are you doing? Pool hours are over." She growled.

"Since when do I play by the rules?" He asked, unbuckling his belt.

"Damon."

"Elena." He smirked, furrowing his eyebrows. Not that again. He hadn't done that eyebrow thing for at least a week and she was coping well. How could she deny him now?

"It's cold, Damon." She whined as he wrapped his arms around her from behind.

"Too bad." He chuckled, gripping her waist and jumping in with her. As her head emerged from the water, she pounced on him, clinging to his back.

"I hate you." She squealed, attempting to push him under the water. He laughed at her lack of strength as he picked her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck.

"Do you hate this?" He cooed, lacing her upper thighs with his fingertips as he placed tiny kisses along her jaw. His cool breath took control of her body. She was drowning in him. He took her higher than she'd ever been before. Everything about him was so magnetic. He really had her now. "That's what I thought." he breathed, planting his lips on hers. She could taste the lust on his mouth and she couldn't leave it. She squeezed her legs tighter around his waist, letting him know she wanted him too. He immediately grabbed her ass, supporting her as his tongue comforted hers.

"Hey." A security guard called, causing them to pull away from each other as a light flashed in their eyes. "Pool is closed."

"I told you." She mumbled, hopping out of the pool. Damon sped to the guard and compelled him to forget they were there as Elena grabbed two towels. "Here." She shivered, handing one to him.

* * *

He opened the door and dropped his towel, shirt and shoes. Before he could do anything she grabbed his beautiful head and kissed him. He was startled at first, but soon followed and kicked her legs around his waist. He held her tightly, kicking the door shut behind him. She hung onto his neck as he roughly moved his lips in sync with hers, sitting her on the suite's kitchen bench for support. Nails that had been digging into the very flesh on his back in the pool, now moved to the back of his head, causing his cobalt hues to gaze into her chocolate as they ground against each other.

He sped her to the double bed and lay her down as she ripped the wet clothes off her body. He moved down to her thighs and she flipped him around. She wanted to be in control this time. She was always the submissive, but she felt comfortable enough with Damon to take over. She kept him down with the heel of her palm, pressing it against his rock solid chest. He had always pleased her, but she had never pleased him. She wanted this time to be different. Pulling his jeans and boxers down to his ankles, she engulfed his throbbing member in her saliva. As she bobbed her head up and down, swirling her tongue around his nub, he groaned. The woman he loved was giving him the pleasure he always wanted. It was difficult for him, not to just flip her around and touch her. He resisted though. For her.

Honey met sapphire. Her hues darted to his as he tousled her hair, allowing his hard on to enter her mouth deeper. He bucked his hips forward, indicating to Elena that she was doing a good job. She immediately twisted her tongue against his tip, sending him over the edge. Not a minute later, his salty seed squirted in her mouth and she swallowed, finishing him off with her tongue.

She sat up, leaning on her knees as she slowly lowered herself onto his throbbing hard on. Once she had adjusted, she started to rock back and forth. Slowly. Tentatively. Developing a momentum, he gripped her waist and bucked his hips upwards, thrusting into her. So much for taking control. Her back arched, giving him more room as she leaned forward and rested her head on his collarbone. He moved his hands to her ass, squeezing it as he increased pace. She moaned against his ear lobe, her nails ripping through the sheets as he hit that spot.

"Don't stop." She whined, biting her lip so hard that it started to bleed. So he didn't. He flipped her around and continued to thrust in the same way, his hand travelling to her sweaty face forcing her honey to meet with his sapphire again. The colour of his eyes were blue enough to drown in. He was turning her into a clichéd love-wrecked being. She was drowning in his blue. Always sinking. Down, down, down.

In that split-second, she caught a glimpse silver. A thin silver line surrounding his cobalt pupils. A silver lining? She never imagined it would look like that. She uncontrollably and involuntarily started humming the words of a song she once heard in her cloudy mind;

 _Is there a chance?_  
 _A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?_  
 _A reason to fight?_  
 _Is there a chance you may change your mind?_  
 _Or are we ashes and wine?_

It's deafening and it fills her head with questions. Was this a sign? He might have been her everlasting silver lining. Maybe he wouldn't be her temporary love fix. Was she wrong this whole time? Or was this her delusional heart taking over her mind again? Damon could be her silver lining, till' death do they part. But they would part — eventually. Because humanity is just nasty and there's no silver lining. One of them would be staked or decapitated and die. And they would part at death. But what about when they died? How would their love live on? Because no doubt it would. When Damon and Elena died, were they going to become entwined constellations in the sky? Like in the Greek tragedies? Never forgotten till the world ends and the stars fall down from the sky? Something like that. That's how she wanted their love to die. She wanted him to be her silver lining. In that split-second, all these thoughts rushed through her brain — along with the thought that perhaps that silver line she saw in his baby blues would last forever.

Then it just vanished. Disappeared from existence. Dissolved into his deep blue pools and drowned. The silver lining ceased to exist. Her mind chose to forget she ever saw it, returning back to the pleasure he was giving her.

"I love you." He panted, his tiny butterfly kisses left on her jaw sending her there as she came around him. He followed, planting his lips on hers again. Her eyes faltered shut as he slowed to a stop, pulled out and rolled off her. Her legs squirmed from the aftershocks as he turned to face her.

"I love you more." She smiled weakly as he pecked her forehead.

"I told you this trip would be different." He smirked.

"Ye—" She started. She was interrupted by her phone ringing. She leaned over the side of the bed and picked it up off the floor. _"Hello?"_ She answered weakly.

 _"Is this Elena Gilbert?"_ A woman asked.

 _"Yes."_ Elena answered.

 _"I'm Meredith Fell from Mystic Falls Hospital. Your friend Bonnie Bennett has had a car accident and she put you down as her primary contact."_ The woman explained.

 _"Oh my god, is she okay?"_ She gasped.

 _"Bonnie is...in critical condition."_

 _"Was there another passenger?"_ Elena asked, scrunching her face.

 _"Yes...Jason Cooper. He was the driver."_ Meredith explained. Elena cringed at that. Of course it was Jace. He was never responsible and he was never careful. Shit. The baby.

"And the baby?!" Elena stressed.

"The baby is..."

 **TO BE CONTINUED. I love cliffhangers. Soz not soz.**

 **Note: Please please please consider leaving a review? Not sure if you guys like it so pls if you can, leave one for me! You don't even need to login to do it x**

 **See you next Tuesday!**


	14. Cracked the Bon Bon

Elena and Damon sat quietly in his Camaro. The drive was six hours and it was awkward as fuck. What was she supposed to say? _'Thanks for giving me the most mind blowing sex ever, too bad we have to rush back to Mystic Falls where our friend is currently dying.'_ No. Definitely not. She did have an absolutely amazing time with Damon in New York, but talking it up while driving to their injured friend wasn't fair.

"You think they told Bonnie yet?" Damon asked, tapping his pointer finger on the wheel.

"What?" She questioned. She was a bit startled by his question — they had been sitting in silence for at least three hours now and his voice was hurting her ears. His voice, was the most beautiful sound she had ever heard. Ever. But right now, it made her want to kiss him and that wouldn't be fair either. So it hurt her ears.

Obviously, Damon was concerned about Bonnie, but he could've asked that question ages ago. He just wanted her to talk to him. To even look at him. Because she hasn't done that since they strapped themselves in his car.

He kept tapping his finger on that leather strip. The one that stretched around the whole of the wheel. His forceful pressure combined with the thick leather made a deafening sound. It wouldn't stop. It sounded kind of like a heart thumping slightly faster than usual. That paired with the sweet velvet his vocal cords produced put pressure on her ear drums.

"About the baby, do you think they told her?" He asked again, glancing at her this time.

"No." She swallowed, turning her head towards the window. She wouldn't be shutting Damon out if she didn't feel so bad about being happy when Bonnie was hurt. No, it wasn't Damon's fault, but she was with Damon when it happened. She wouldn't feel right about spending more amazing moments with him until Bonnie was better. So she kept hushed and made sure she didn't make eye contact.

"Why not?" He asked, continuously tapping that finger.

"I don't know." She shrugged. The silence surrounded her and held her in an awkward bubble that she couldn't escape.

"You're awfully quiet." He observed, smirking sidewards. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah...just thinking." She frowned, cracking her knuckle. She was trying to find anything to do to occupy herself. Of course the most interesting would be talking to Damon, but that was out of bounds. So she fiddled and watched the car pass the trees by while his finger kept tapping.

"Okay." He shrugged, pursing his lips. "I love you." He pouted. She sat there in silence. Could she really not say _'I love you.'_ back? "Elena?"

"What?" She asked, scrunching her face.

"I love you."

"I love you too." She smiled weakly, returning her head to that window spot. Really, her eyes were trying to find anything other than Damon to focus on, because if they glanced at him for just one second, they'd be stuck there and she'd be forced to give into her urges to kiss him. She wanted to hold out on showing him affection until she knew Bonnie was ok and it wouldn't be selfish, so naturally, she moved her head to the window ― the furthest her eyes could venture. But his finger kept tapping. Maybe that's what he used to occupy himself. Either way, it tormented her.

* * *

"Where is she?" Elena asked the nurse, rushing into the hospital, Damon following behind.

"Who?" The nurse asked.

"Bonnie Bennett."

"The last room down the hall to the left." The nurse told her. Elena ran down the hall and into the room. She took a deep breath before entering, preparing herself for what she was about to see.

"Hey 'Lena." Bonnie smiled weakly.

"Oh my god, Bonnie." Elena cried, sitting on the bed next to her. She had scars and bruises all over her body. Elena gasped as she examined them with her eyes. She immediately bit her wrist and held it to Bonnie's mouth. "Drink."

"No, Elena. I don't want your blood." Bonnie declined, shaking her head slowly.

"Why not?" She asked, shaking her head.

"Because I don't want to accidentally die and become a vampire." Bonnie explained.

"Fine." Elena grunted. "How long have you been awake?"

"Ten minutes?"

"So they haven't told you yet?" Elena blurted. Shit. She wasn't supposed to ask that.

"Told me what?"

"Nothing." Elena shrugged, nodding awkwardly.

"Can you ask Damon to call the others?"

"Do I have to." She whined. She didn't really want to talk to Damon. That would involve listening to his gorgeous voice and looking at him hurt. How could she look at him and not kiss every square inch of his body?

"Yes."

"Can't I just call him?"

"He's right outside." Bonnie rolled her eyes.

"Fine." Elena sighed, slumping out of the room. She returned to the waiting room to see Damon sunken in a chair. He looked really upset, but what was she supposed to do? Leave Bonnie? No. She could fix it after.

"Hey." Damon smiled, standing up from his chair. His face lit up when he saw her and that just made her feel worse.

"I need you to call Stefan and Caroline and tell them about Bonnie." She explained, rushing back to the room to sit back down with Bonnie.

"Okay." He frowned, pulling out his phone as she disappeared.

* * *

"Why didn't you want to go ask Damon? Did you have a fight?" Bonnie croaked.

"No. It's just...when you were in critical condition, we were having sex in New York." Elena explained.

"Too much information." Bonnie scrunched her face.

"Well I feel bad." She shrugged.

"Why? You didn't know."

"Yeah, but—"

"But what?" Bonnie asked, shuffling in her sheets. "You can't avoid him for it. It wasn't his fault."

"I know." She sighed.

"No you don't. Or you wouldn't be avoiding him. He took you to a romantic trip in New York, and here you are talking to me about how you don't want to talk to him. He's probably wondering what he did wrong. I know you feel bad, but you don't have to. I understand that you didn't know and I'm ok with that."

"You're the best." Elena smiled. She was right. Elena was being selfish. Damon prepared all that and now she was ignoring him. She needed to make it right. When caroline and Stefan arrived, she was going to speak to Damon.

"I know." Bonnie whispered. Elena looked over to her and noticed some odd scratches on Bonnie's arm. Elena recognised those scratches from medical training at Whitmore. They looked like they were inflicted by fingernails.

"What's that?"

"What's what?" Bonnie asked, looking at Elena weirdly. Elena recognised the marks because she used to get them when Jace would abuse her ― but she would heal quickly.

"That scar on your wrist. How did you get that?" Elena asked, brushing her fingers over it. Bonnie flinched at the pain.

"I got it in the crash." She lied.

"Those are fingernail cuts. Did Jace hurt you?"

"No."

"Bonnie?" Elena grunted.

"Maybe." Bonnie groaned. She knew it was Jace. He hadn't changed at all and chances are, he never would.

"What happened?"

"We were arguing about him not being there for the birth of the baby and he got angry and did that. He wasn't watching the road so we crashed into a street light." Bonnie explained.

"I'm going to kill him. He's gonna die. He'll be dead. He—"

"You can't kill him, Elena." She sighed.

"Why not?" Elena asked. Did Bonnie really still love him?

"Because he's already dead."

"Oh my god...I'm sorry." She frowned. Elena didn't really care what state Jace was in, but she was being insensitive towards Bonnie.

"It's ok, I'm just glad he didn't hurt the baby." Bonnie smiled.

"Bonnie, I need to tell you something."

"What?" Bonnie asked.

"I'm so sorry Bonnie..."

"About what?"

"The baby...didn't make it." Elena told her, her voice cracking as she rubbed her arm. Bonnie's face flushed with anger, disbelief, horror and despair all at the same time, her eyes watering with rage.

"No...no they would've told me if the baby died." She sobbed.

"Bonnie―"

"No, they would have told me."

"They wanted me to tell you." Elena sighed.

"No. You're lying―"

"Bonnie, I―"

"Stop lying to me! Why would you joke about something like this. No. No―" Bonnie yelled, her tears drenching her clothes.

"I'm not lying, Bon―"

"No, it's not real. Stop lying to me!" Bonnie squealed at Elena, kicking under her covers.

"Bonnie, calm down." Elena frowned, trying to hold her still with her hands.

"Leave me alone!" She snapped, flicking Elena's hands off her.

"Ok." Elena gulped, walking out of the room. As she headed back to the waiting room she saw Stefan and Caroline. "Hey." She smiled softly.

"Hey." They said in unison.

"Bonnie's in the last room down the hall to the left, but you should leave her for a bit. I just told her she lost the baby. She's not doing so well." Elena explained.

"Is she okay? I should go and comfort her." Caroline frowned.

"I tried. She told me I was lying and that I should get out. She's crying hysterically and she really needs to be alone. Leave her for a while." Elena nodded.

"Okay." She sighed. "Stefan and I are going for a coffee run. You want something?"

"No I'm ok. Have you guys seen Damon? I need to talk to him."

"He went outside for some air." Stefan attempted a smile.

"Thanks." She replied, speed walking outside. She noticed Damon sitting on a park bench next to the hospital carpark. She waddled over to him quietly. "Hey."

"Hey." Damon sighed, not looking at her.

"Can I sit?" Elena asked.

"Sure." He stated as she sat next to him.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He deflected, tapping his pointer finger on the edge of the seat. It sounded almost identical to this morning and she hated it.

"Really?" She asked sarcastically.

"I brought a girl to New York and I thought we had an amazing time. Suddenly we were rushed back home and she has been avoiding me. She didn't talk to me much on the way home and when she did she was being shady. I don't know what I did wrong." He explained as she rested her head against his.

"You didn't. She just felt bad that she had an amazing time while her friend was in hospital. And she shouldn't have shut you out. Now she see's that. Honestly, with all this stress, you are the only person keeping her together right now." Elena huffed.

"I love her." He smirked, finally looking at her.

"She loves you too." Elena grinned, smiling against his lips. She slowly pressed hers onto his, softly pecking him as he caressed her cheek.

"That's good to know." He breathed against her lips, his bourbon breath igniting her body.

"Thank you." She cooed in his ear.

"For what?"

"For giving _me_ a mind blowing trip."

* * *

When Damon and Elena went back inside, Caroline and Stefan were in Bonnie's room.

They walked in to see a Bonnie-less bed. "Where is she?" Elena asked, scrunching her face.

"In there." Caroline stated, pointing to the tiny closet in the corner of the ward room.

"In there? That's the closet." Damon shrugged.

"Yeah. She locked herself in there as soon as we walked into the door. She said she wanted to be alone." Stefan explained as Elena walked up to the closet door. As she held her ear up, she heard muffled sobbing.

"Bonnie?" She asked.

"What?" Bonnie sniffed, hugging her knees.

"Come out." Elena whispered.

"Lea-ve me al-one." She sobbed, her tears keeping her sweater moist.

"See." Stefan shook his head. "We already tried."

"You have to come out. You're still weak." Elena explained.

"No."

"I'll rip the door off." Elena frowned. She didn't want to, but Bonnie needed to be cared for. She needed to lay on her hospital bed and sleep.

"No you won't."

"You might wanna move to the back because I don't want to hurt you."

"Fine, I'll come out. But everyone has to leave the room." Bonnie groaned, standing up.

"Okay." Elena nodded, pushing everyone out of the room. Once they left, she walked back over to the closet.

"Including you, Elena." Bonnie grunted through the door.

"Fine." She frowned, joining the others outside and closing the door behind her.

"What do we do now?" Caroline asked, leaning against the pale white walls.

"We go home to our lives and then we come back tomorrow. If she doesn't want to see us then, we come back the next day and the next and the day after that until she does." Elena smiled weakly.

"I think we should stay. She needs support." Caroline shook her head.

"Elena's right, Caroline. We need to let her grieve. We'll visit tomorrow." Damon nodded.

"Alright." Caroline sighed, taking Stefan's hand.

* * *

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	15. A Sky Full of Stars

_Dear diary,_

 _It's been a week and all of us have gone to visit Bonnie at least once daily. She still wanted to be alone and wouldn't let any of us in the room, but hopefully today's our lucky day._

 _The doctors are saying she's getting worse. Her wounds won't recover fast enough because she's so depressed. I'd try with the vamp blood again but I can't get in the room. They also yelled at me for telling her so soon. If I left it longer, she would never talk to me again. I couldn't do that to her. She needed to know. Caroline and I are planning on going again later today._

 _As for Damon. Well...he's fine. I love him and we're great. I haven't completely dismissed my theory though. I know that humanity is just nasty and there's no silver lining. To me, that's fact ― no question. But, I've chosen to push that aside for now and deal with it when my next cycle hits ― hopefully it doesn't for a while. Right now I'm just focused on enjoying him._

 _He's going on a 'boys weekend' with Alaric, Stefan and some other guys named Tyler and Matt. I think it's great that he's spending time with his brother and friends, but I'm going to miss him. A whole fucking lot. I mean, what am I supposed to do while he's gone? Sure, Caroline will be here, but I want Damon. I need him, like the sky needs the stars. Desperately. Because without the stars, the sky would be dull and discoloured. Ugly and dark. Eerie and faded. Incomplete. A whorl of black and nothingness. I'm the sky and he decorates me. I've been starless my whole life and I need to be brightened for a while. He accentuates my colours and together we're a universe; imperfect, flawed, reckless and a beautiful disaster. We're not perfect and we never will be, but a sky without her stars is more imperfect and stars don't shine without their skies. So together; recklessness and imperfections and flaws merge into a hurricane._

 _But still, our hurricane is different. Our hurricane is beautiful and tainted and a mixture of bloom and gloom. And you can't have one without the other. So our hurricane is angelic. A perfect mix of purity and peril. Our hurricane is us. And I, the sky, would cease to exist without our hurricane. So I need him, like the sky needs the stars. Desperately? No, inevitably._

 _And yeah, every hurricane or universe must come to an end, but this sky is not ready for that end and neither are her stars._

― _Elena_

* * *

"Do you have to go?" Elena whined, tugging on Damon's wrist, pulling him back to the brim of the bed.

"I need to take my bag to the car." Damon sighed, glancing down at her. She was a picture of sorrow. Not because she wasn't with him or because she had been hurt, but because he was leaving for three days. Her eyes dilated to their widest circles and her cheeks turned to a warm blue. She was begging him to stay at this point and her adorable pleads weren't helping him leave.

"I mean, do you have to go on this trip?" She giggled softly.

"Yes." Damon chuckled, pressing his soft lips against her knuckles. She melted into his warm peck against her bones. She knew her time was running out ― her cycle would renew soon ― and she didn't want to waste any minute of the current one. Her relationships had never lasted more than a year ― other than Jace. A year or two isn't enough time. It never would be for Elena. She wanted _forever_.

"Why?" Elena asked for the millionth time this week, kneeling on the bed. Her pupils glimmered with midnight and he was being summoned to them like the sun to dawn.

"We've been over this." He smirked, turning his head slightly so her eyes where out of his vision. If he looked into them any longer he'd be fixed on staying.

"Stay for a bit." She purred, gnawing on her lower lip, lifting the hem of his shirt. His skin electrified and his eyes were drawn back to hers.

"No." He murmured, resisting the urge to take her into his burly chest.

"Please." She whispered, leaning over his ear as she slipped her frigid hands up his shirt, grazing his pecks.

"Elena..." He moaned as she made out with his jawline, sticking one hand in his jeans and grabbing his member. He closed his eyes, failing to ignore the buzz she was giving him.

"Stay, Damon." She whined in his ear, nestling him under his boxers. "I need you."

"I need to go." He grunted, pulling her hand out of his pants and planting a quick kiss on her needy lips. Surely that wasn't enough for her, but he'd been planning this weekend forever and he didn't want to miss it because he couldn't resist Elena. He knew she was the only person who could prevent him from going.

"Fine, Asshole." She frowned as he grabbed his bag and briskly waddled out the door.

"I love you." He called.

"Yeah, yeah."

* * *

As selfish as it seems, Elena dreaded visiting Bonnie today. She knew what she'd been through but Elena didn't want to deal with her negativity when Damon wasn't around. She had Care, but she wasn't a good cheerer-upper like Damon was. Damon's cuddles could lift her up in an instant.

"Elena we have to go." Caroline barked, tugging her lanky limb in the direction of the door.

"We went last night." Elena rolled her eyes at Caroline's meticulous tendencies. She knew she wouldn't take no for an answer.

"And maybe today will be different." Caroline growled, nudging Elena harshly. "Stop sulking and get your lazy ass up. We're going for Bonnie."

"Fine." Elena pouted, stretching out the 'e' on the end of the word as she sighed in surrender.

"Yay!" Caroline squealed. "We'll take my car."

* * *

Elena and Caroline had been sitting silently in the car for ten minutes and Caroline knew something was up. Elena was usually chatty ― not more so than Caroline but chatty enough.

"Why are you so quiet?" She asked Elena, pursing her lips to the right.

"No reason." Elena shrugged, returning her focus to the passing trees.

"Your sudden silence has nothing to with the fact that Damon's not here for the weekend." Caroline stated. It wasn't a question, but Elena answered like it was.

"No." Elena frowned. Caroline didn't see it though. Elena was the worst liar. Granted she didn't lie much, but she could barely lie to a dog.

"Elena."

"No." She repeated, sternly this time.

"Elena." Caroline persisted, pulling up at the hospital.

"Maybe." Elena replied. She shook her head as if she had answered _no_ again. She wanted to say it. Really, she did. But Caroline wasn't going to give up and Elena wasn't bothered to protest her.

"Elena."

"Fine." She snorted, unbuckling her seat belt as she slouched out of the car. "Yes."

"Why?" Caroline questioned, hopping out and locking it. "Stefan's gone and you don't see me sulking."

"I don't know." She mumbled, slouching as she swung her bag over her shoulder. Elena had had her fair share of shit in her life, but she'd never dealt with it well. She'd either a) Ignore it, b) cry or c) whine and somber. Today she chose c. "I guess things really started to peak with us and now I suddenly feel empty. And I know he's only gone for three days, but I feel like I'm getting a taste of what it's gonna be like when we end and it's just really bumming me out. If I can't deal with three days of no Damon then how am I supposed to deal with forever. Plus, it's difficult to deal with Bonnie right now and Damon helps me through it. I haven't gone to see her without him yet and I don't want to either. One look into his blue eyes and I forget about my problems."

"Okay, I know you're gonna hate what I'm about to say, but just hear me out." Caroline started, flicking a blonde ringlet off her shoulder. "You need to stop stressing over everything. You stressed about him loving you, you stressed about him leaving you, you've even stressed about it ending before it has. It's three days! Get over it. He's coming back, he's not leaving and you aren't going to magically end." She walked over to Elena and gripped her shoulders softly. "And I know there are going to be things and people that will try to end what you guys have, but stop being so stressed about it. You can't change fate or love or anything. But you can love him. And that's more powerful than anything that will come in your way. So stop being so depressed and start being more appreciative. Because you have an amazing guy who cares about you more than anyone and anything in the whole world. And I didn't see that before, but I do now."

"Thanks Care." Elena managed a smile, pulling her into her chest. "I love you."

"I love you too." Caroline breathed. "Now lets go see Bonnie." Elena and Caroline pranced over to Bonnie's room. It was quieter than usual, though they liked it better. They'd rather not hear Bonnie sniff and sob quietly and tell them to _fuck off_ as soon as they approached the door. "Bonnie?" Caroline gulped, knocking on the door softly. There was no answer. Just silence. "Bon, it's Care and 'Lena." She rasped, pressing her ear to the door. She looked back at Elena as she lowered her hand to the handle. Elena nodded and she opened the door ever so slowly.

"Bonnie?" Elena murmured, walking in after Caroline. The bed was empty and made and the room was completely bare of Bonnie's belongings. "Maybe she was moved?" She suggested, speeding into the main lobby. She grabbed the first nurse she could find and held her firmly. "Where is Bonnie Bennett?"

"She was free to return home today. She left this morning." The nurse answered. Elena turned to see Caroline behind her.

"So I guess we're going to Bonnie's house." Elena smiled, snatching the keys from Caroline's hand. "I'm driving."

* * *

When Caroline and Elena stood outside Bonnie's bedroom door, they heard the muffled cries they missed at the hospital.

"Bon?" They asked in unison.

"Fu-ck off." Bonnie grunted into her pillow.

"We didn't come for nothing." Caroline sighed. "We're coming in."

"Lea-ve me alo-ne." She wailed.

"I'm breaking the lock, Bonnie." Elena mumbled, pushing the handle down swiftly with her vamp speed and cracking the lock. They enter to see Bonnie coiled in a ball, sobbing hysterically. "Oh my god, Bonnie."

"I told yo-u to le-ave." She stammered, biting her lip.

"We're not leaving." Caroline grunted, pulling Bonnie's arm, forcing her to sit up. Still, when she sat, she was slouched and cadaverous. Her skin wasn't her usual chocolate. It was more like a really pale olive. She looked like she'd been sleeping for years and her excess tears left dried niches on her cheeks. She managed to hold another tear from falling by clenching her jaw.

"I-I can't do anyt-hing." She started. "I can't sl-eep, I-I can't eat, I c-an't dri-nk, I-I can't even st-and up. The-there's so much p-ain." She stuttered, letting that tear she held in glide down her pale face. Elena and Caroline pulled her into their arms ― one from behind and one from the front.

"Bon―" Elena started.

"Do-n't" Bonnie interrupted, pushing them off her. "The-there's so much hurt. Wh-y does everyo-ne have t-o die on me? First my Gra-ms, then my pa-rents, now m-y ba-by. I would ha-ve had some-one to call fa-mily."

"That isn't your fault." Caroline comforted. "You're baby was Jace's fault and the rest ― you can't control cancer. Not even with magic."

"I just wa-nt it t-o stop! Please, make it st-op!" She squealed, her tears cascading down her hollow cheeks.

"You'll be ok." Elena frowned, circling Bonnie's arm softly.

"No, I can't handle any-more. I ca-n't."

"We can help you."

"The-re's on-ly one way y-ou can he-lp m-e;" Bonnie sobbed. "Take it away."

"Bonnie, we―"

"If yo-u want t-o make it be-tter, you have t-o take it a-way." She begged, her agonised eyes darting to the bed sheets.

"Ok." Caroline nodded, glancing at Elena. "I'll do it."

"No, I'll do it." Elena turned Bonnie around slowly as she stared at Caroline. "I gave her the pain, now I have to take it away."

"I'll be outside."

"Bonnie, look at me." Elena demanded, pulling her chin towards her. "Why are you miserable?" She asked, compelling her.

"I was pregnant with my boyfriend Jason. I lost the baby in a car crash. Jason died too." She answered, her eyes locked to Elena's.

"You were never pregnant and you and Jace never dated. He was my ex boyfriend who moved to...Ohio. The scars on your body are from a car crash. You weren't watching the road and you collided with a pole. You are recovering. You're happy that you survived the crash." Elena compelled her, stroking her knotted hair. Bonnie blinked several times, then stood up. She grabbed a towel and some clothes from her drawer. "Bon, what are you doing?"

"I'm gonna take a quick shower." She answered, walking towards the bathroom. "You wanna go to the grill after? I'm starved." She asked. Elena didn't answer. She'd never seen someone change their mood so fast. Yeah, she compelled her, but a few blinks and she was back to normal. "Elena?"

"...Uh no, I think I'm gonna home. I'm kind of tired." She replied.

"I'll text you later then?"

"Sure." Elena nodded, heading outside to meet Caroline.

* * *

Elena was miserable. She was bored, and down right empty. She couldn't think of one word to describe her current state. Corrupt, maybe? She'd never felt so neglected. Not that Damon was neglecting her, but it was still a feeling that lingered in the hollow of her stomach. Because even though Damon would be back today, he hadn't called. He had called every other day and he hadn't today ― Granted, it was only 1pm.

She could always spend the next few hours with Bonnie and Caroline, but she'd done that both Friday and Saturday and if she did, she'd probably miss Damon's arrival. She wanted to be here for that. Caroline was right about the fact that she was _overreacting._ She couldn't help it though. Her stars had been missing, how could she not care? Her sky was dull again. It would be until he came back.

She lay on her stomach along their bed, alternating between sniffing the bourbon and rain scented sheets and checking her phone. She'd hear her phone if it rang or buzzed, but she checked anyway, glancing at her screensaver. It was a photo of Damon and her in Georgia. Every time she stared at it, she was reliving that day. It was her second favourite memory of them ― the first being the night they met. She'd gone back to that spot at least three times in the two days he was gone. Again, she debated going today, but she might miss him.

He had gotten under her skin and whatever she did, she couldn't shake him. It was painful when he was gone. His absence was painful. The only pain she wanted him to put her through would be all the hickeys he planted on her body with his blistering lips. But that wasn't what he was doing. He was hurting her. Not him, so much. More, the idea of him. Because he wasn't here. With her. So she was hurting. And her bones were sore. All she needed was a phone call to replenish her mental state. She couldn't call him though, it wouldn't make a difference. He had to do it. But how does she make the phone ring? She can't. And that was the problem.

She raised from the mattress and walked toward the door, trying to shift her thoughts onto something other than Damon. She opened the cupboard and tugged a towel off the shelf. As she made her way to the bathroom, she glared at the doorway, remembering the first time she walked into his room. The first thing she noticed was that doorway without a door. She recalled the awkward conversation that followed her discovery and smiled to herself.

Then she blinked long and hard. How was he all around her, when he's not really there? Everything she did reminded her of him. She was supposed to be taking her mind off all things Damon and was failing miserably. She shook her head and peeled her pyjamas off ― she hadn't left the room all day. She placed her towel on the sink and turned around, glancing at the bathtub, then the shower, then both. When she looked at the bathtub, she thought of the several times Damon had fucked her in there and giggled, walking over slowly.

Then she stepped back. Probably not a good idea if she was trying to forget about Damon. She twisted her heels and chose the shower. A safer choice since they'd only fucked once in there. As the searing water cascaded down her back, she took a deep breath, clearing him from her mind. It was hard, but soon, Elena had completely forgotten about him.

That is, until she dropped the soap. She bent over to pick it up and her ass collided with the cool tiled wall. Shivering, she stood back up as another memory vibrated through her. That one time they'd made love in the shower, he'd pressed her back against that wall to support her as he filled her with ecstasy. She felt her skin twitch as she tilted her head, closing her eyes so she could relish the memory.

Then she blinked again. Long and hard. How did she feel him on her, when he's not on her skin? That was how much control he had over her. That he could bury himself so deep in her subconscious to be able to indent his touch on her skin. There were certain triggers. First, the doorway, then the bathtub and now the shower wall. Things they did. Memories they shared. Moments of impact. They were the best memories that would arise with from the brain with the right trigger. The problem was, every moment of Damon and Elena's where highly impactful. Each memory, a moment of impact. So how many triggers were there? Elena didn't want to find out. She wanted to forget about him until he returned.

So she let the water seep down her hair one last time and hopped out of the shower, wrapping her moist body in the towel. She'd just had a shower, but she felt more foggy than before. Maybe it was the warm water. She turned the sink tap on and drenched her face in the chilled stream. She scraped her cheeks, releasing the droplets from her face and wiping the jewelled dew off the mirror. As she sensed the trigger, she turned her head, heading back to the bedroom. She checked her phone once more and with no missed calls or messages, she stroked her aqueous locks in tire.

She slipped on her panties and the same silk pjs she'd worn yesterday and went back on the bed. She was pulled back by a pair of muscly arms wrapped around her stomach. She could recognise those toned arms anywhere. His veins brushed against her skin and she flushed with warmth. He touched her and she lit on fire. Her wrist blazed where his fingers met her skin. The burns didn't show but it was hard to breath with ash in her lungs. It was so hard to breathe. She was suffocating in his warm scent. She turned her head and let her eyes scan him in her peripheral vision, his euphoric breath sending her to a safe haven.

Was this real? Or did something trigger a moment of impact? They'd never had a memory like this. So it was. Real, that is. His arms traveled to her hips and she gasped, relishing the new moment he'd imprint into her brain.

"Hi." He hummed against her earlobe, slipping his hands down her shorts. She pulls them away and finally turned around.

"Hi." She replied, stroking his sharp jaw with her lanky fingertips.

"I missed you." He smirked, pinching her ass. She flicked his hand away and planted an overdue kiss on his supple lips. They blistered hers as he continued pulling her waist against his. She pulled away gazing at his long missed baby blues.

"I missed you more." She murmured.

"I doubt it." He chuckled, pinching her ass again, picking her up and taking her to the bed.

"No." She flicked his hand once more, laying next to him. He was confused. Was she mad at him? No. It was the opposite. She wanted to enjoy the feeling of her stars returning to her sky. She wanted to lay with him. "I want to enjoy this. With you. I want to lay here and feel your heartbeat." She mumbled softly.

"I love you." He smirked, pulling her closer as she coiled around him.

"I love you too."

* * *

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	16. So Caroline

**Please guys, leave me a review x I don't even know if you're enjoying it :(**

 **Anyway, Here you go!**

* * *

Damon's fingers had soaked to the point of pruning. She finally decided to join. He'd been waiting in here for twenty minutes. The searing liquid surrounded her thighs as she lowered into the bath tub. He watched her face intently as she adjusted to the burning sensation attacking her bottom half. She sat in between his legs with her ear pressed against his nose and jaw, her back to his front.

"Took you a while." He smirked softly, wrapping his fingers around her shoulder to pull her back against him. Elena was still uncomfortable and the heat didn't help, but she agreeably pressed her back against his pecks, turning her head slightly to catch his lips with hers.

"Caroline wants us to come to the grill tonight. Something about cheering Bonnie up." Elena sighed, stringing Damon's lightly dampened hair. The heat made it sticky, but she didn't care. It was arguably her favourite thing to do. To run her fingers through his hair. It was the first thing she wished for the night they met and now that she was allowed to do it whenever she wanted, she never passed up an opportunity.

"Isn't that what you compelled her for?" He asked, scrunching his face as she continued to fiddle with his locks. She didn't pay much attention to what he was saying. She was more focused on the way his eyes creased when he pruned his face and the way the words he spoke strung out like velvet. "Elena?"

"Um well," She started, blinking hard to remember what he had asked. "technically, I didn't take the pain away, I only took the memories. She can still feel the sadness but not the reason why it's there." She explained. "It's still a massive improvement from before."

"You're sexy when you get all technical." He teased, leaning into her lips.

"Hey," She pulled away. "I thought I was sexy all the time."

"You are." He smirked, twisting her hips around so she was facing him while sitting in his lap in the steamy bath tub.

"Damon!" She squealed in laughter, wrapping her hands around his shoulders.

"What?" He asked, raising one of his perfect eyebrows as he gripped her hips.

"I love you." She giggled, pressing her nose against his forehead. They stayed there for a minute, the only sounds were their heavy breaths. She slowly dipped her head lower, as if she were leaning in for a first kiss. It was the millionth by now, but every time was like the first. She slowly moved her head to be level with his and watched him suck on his lower lip. He could of kissed her then, but he waited for her to do it. As if on queue, she leaned into him, her hand unconsciously travelling from his shoulder to his jaw.

"I know." He bragged against the corner of her lips, keeping his hands rested on her hipbone.

"Damon!" She grunted, punching his shoulder playfully.

"I love you too." He breathed, stroking her neckline softly. She knew it. She did. But she wanted to hear him say it. She liked his bare side better than his sarcastic one. His sarcastic one was cute and funny and sexy. Extremely sexy. But his bare side was real and beautiful and raw. And she liked him raw. Just the way he was. Because that side of him promised their love would be eternal. It'd end between them, but not by him or her. By the universe. One of them would die or they'd otherwise be somehow wronged. Either way, their love would live on. Their love was like angels wings or the halo above one's head ― delicate, beautiful and everlasting. Their love was immortal ― more so than them. And she believed it, deep deep into her subconscious. Her theory was still floating on the surface though. Like ice on a lake. The water can't escape until the ice melts completely. And it would. Soon. She even had a single thread of hope that they might, somehow, maybe, possibly even reach their silver lining. Maybe.

She leaned into his lips and whispered; "Prove it." Without words he took her into his mouth, his hands travelling to her ass to pull her closer. They were pruned, yes, but Elena didn't mind the wrinkles that were pressed against her skin. As long as Damon was there, she didn't care. They still sent electricity through her body. Anything he did made that happen. He tightened his grip around her ass as he pulled his mouth away, lifting her up now. She lowered herself onto his length and sighed as he tensed. Everything they did was filled with so much love. As she rocked back and forth slowly, filling every minute with passion, he moved a hand to her face. She sunk into it, gripping his shoulders as she dipped her head to kiss him like before. This time it happened faster. As her eyes weakened and began to shut, she focused on the blur of his face. The way his eyes widened and his mouth fell open within the few minutes they'd been doing this. Her eyes closed now, she let him navigate her off him. Climaxes were easy to reach when you loved someone like Damon and Elena did.

"Believe me now?" He huffed, his fingers toying with the ends of her hair.

"I don't know..." She pouted.

"You liar." He smirked into her lips as he filled her with his love again.

* * *

"Care, why?" Bonnie whined as Caroline dialled a number.

"Because Bon, you're depressed and our friends can cheer you up." She explained, balancing the phone between her ear and shoulder while she grabbed a pen and rummaged for some paper.

"I'm not depressed, I'm just...down. Besides, I don't want Damon and Stefan to know." Bonnie sighed. Caroline found and old letter and began to write up a list of things she had to do before tonight, glancing up once to frown at her friend while clicking the pen on the desk.

"Why?" She asked as the phone rung out. "Fuck." She breathed, quiet enough so Bonnie wouldn't notice.

"Because, the moment Damon finds out, he's going to make endless jokes to try and cheer me up and Stefan's going to awkwardly comfort me with long ass pep talks." Bon huffed, adjusting on Care's sofa. Caroline looked up at her with a bent smile as she redialed the number and placed the phone back in between her shoulder.

"Why is that a bad thing?" She asked, continuing to scribble on the paper in her impeccably neat handwriting.

"I don't even know why I'm like this. Why should I depress all of our friends?"

"Why aren't you worried about depressing Elena?" Caroline pursed her lips to the right.

"I figured you already told her." She stated, staring at the chipped red nail polish on her fingers.

"Huh, well I did." Caroline sighed as the phone rang out again. "Damn it, pick up." She huffed. Bonnie heard it this time.

"Who are you calling?" Bonnie asked.

"The...grill." She stuttered.

"Why?"

"I want to book a table." She lied, dialling again.

"Since when do they take bookings?" Bon questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Since always." Caroline coughed, as if it was obvious. "Why won't they pick up?"

"Maybe because they're busy. Just drive down there. It's only five minutes away." Bonnie rolled her eyes at Caroline's efforts. There was always a spare table at the grill. Why would Caroline need to book?

"I don't have time for that." She whined, folding the list she wrote and shoving it in the back pocket of her jeans. There were at least eleven more things she had to do in the next four hours. Difficult, but if anyone could do it, it was Caroline.

"What else do you have to do?"

 _"American Airlines, Hayley speaking. How may I help you?"_ A voice spoke into Caroline's ear.

"Yes!" Caroline squealed. She exhaled proudly, composed herself and answered the lady. _"Hi Hayley, I'm Caroline. The website was down so I thought I'd call. I'd like to book a..."_ Realising Bonnie was still in the room, she asked the lady; _"Can you hold on for one minute?"_

 _"Sure."_ Hayley replied.

"Bon, go home and get ready for tonight." Caroline turned to her.

"I have four hours." Bonnie argued, laying down on the sofa.

"Bonnie go now or there will be consequences." She grunted.

"No."

"Bonnie go home now!" She growled.

"Okay okay Mom, jeez." Bon rolled her eyes. Once Bonnie had left, Caroline returned to the phone.

 _"Sorry about that."_ Caroline smiled, running a few fingers through her blond curls.

 _"No worries, how may I help you?"_

* * *

"Hey, sorry we're late." Elena smiled, her hand locked with Damon's as she hugged Caroline with the other one.

"You're late." Caroline shot her a look as she pulled away and went onto Stefan.

"I know Care, I just said that. I'm sorry." Elena sighed, pulling away.

"You held us up." Caroline scoffed.

"Caroline, we're five minutes late. Simmer down." Damon rolled his eyes as Elena hugged Bonnie.

"Six." She coughed.

"You ok?" Elena whispered into Bonnie's hair.

"Yeah I'm fine. I don't know, I just feel sad." Bonnie explained.

"Hopefully we can cheer you up." Elena smiled widely, sitting next to Bonnie in the booth, Damon following.

"Now that we're all here, I have a surprise!" Caroline smiled.

"You're secretly a dude." Damon smirked. "Oh my god, I knew it."

"No, asshole. We're going to Hawaii!" She squealed. Everyone replied with a string of different emotions, but they all consisted of one thing; disbelief. Between the four of them, they muffled similar answers. Not the same, but similar. Damon's consisted of annoyance, Elena's of tire. Bonnie's was shock and Stefan acted like she was joking. All together, their answers combined into a muffled blur of; _'What? No. Stop. Really Care? Why Caroline? Oh, I get it, You're kidding. Haha not funny.'_

"Guys, I'm serious. I booked us all flights and rooms at the Hilton Hawaiian Village Waikiki Beach Resort in honolulu for a week! We leave tomorrow." She smiled again, pulling the receipt she printed out of her bag and proving she wasn't lying.

"Why?" Damon scowled.

"Because Bonnie is sad and we need to cheer her up. Hawaii is the perfect place to do that." She explained.

"Caroline, I didn't need this. You can all cheer me up here." Bonnie complained. "Thanks but no thanks."

"Come on, Bon. I've heard Hawaiian boys are hot." She winked.

"So are boys here." Bon argued.

"I already paid." She stated, crossing her arms tightly. "What about you, Elena?"

"I think it was very thoughtful, but it's a bit much, Care." Elena shrugged.

"I'll be at the bar." Damon deadpanned, abruptly standing up, untangling his hand from Elena's and walking away.

After a few moments of absolute silence, Caroline huffed heavily. Then again. Then a third time. When Elena didn't respond, she huffed towards her. "Elena." Caroline frown-huffed.

"What?" Elena blinked.

"What do you think?"

"I don't know." Elena mumbled.

"Go tell your boyfriend to stop being a dick and come to Hawaii or I'll rip his balls off." She threatened.

"Fine." Elena groaned. Honestly, Elena thought Hawaii would be fun. It'd be good for Bonnie and she'd get to spend some quality time with Damon. It was actually one of Caroline's thoroughly organised plans that she didn't think was completely insane. She didn't understand why Damon was so against it. She did know that Caroline could get her money back, but either way Care wouldn't take no for an answer. She had to crack Damon, and she knew just how. She plonked herself on the bar stool next to him and watched him scull bourbon from a bottle. "How did you get the bartender to give you that?"

"Compulsion. He has three more waiting for me." He sighed, tilting the bottle in Elena's direction, offering her some. She shook her head.

"So Hawaii is so..." She started.

"Stupid?" He guessed.

"I was going to say _so Caroline_." She smirked.

"Making it even more stupid." He rolled his eyes, taking a huge sip of the bourbon.

"Why are you so against Hawaii, huh? Do you not like relaxing? Beaches? Oh, summer?" She joked. His face stayed blank. He didn't smirk. His mouth didn't even twitch at the corners. He didn't look at her. This was going to be harder than she thought. She found his hand under the bar top and forced him to lock it with hers. "What's bothering you?"

"I just don't like leaving." He stated stiffly.

"We went to Georgia and New York together."

"That's different." He exhaled.

"Different how?" She asked, rubbing her thumb over their locked hands.

"Those were overnight road trips. They don't count." He explained.

"So they didn't matter to you?" She questioned coldly now.

"No, that's not what I'm saying. Hawaii is over seas, we'd have to fly, it's for a whole week and we'd have to go with Barbie, Ken and Bon Bon." He complained.

"Are you afraid of flying?" She gasped, giggling slightly.

"I just like road trips. They're the best part of going places." Damon explained.

"Ok so what's so bad about spending a week in paradise?" She asked.

"A week on an island with Mr and Mrs perfect and gloomy goose over there, are you kidding me?" He raised an eyebrow.

"We don't have to stay with them. It could be a getaway...for us." She trailed, sliding her hands up his neck and around the back of it to make him look at her.

"They'd still be there. I want you...and only you." He breathed, leaning into her palm as she moved it up to his face. "We can stay here."

"That's sweet Damon, but you're going." She nodded.

"I'm not going, Elena."

"You're going even if I have to drag you by your hair." She quipped.

"You can't drag me over seas." He chuckled slightly.

"You're going, smarty pants." She rolled her eyes, lightly tapping her palm against his cheek.

"Nicknaming is my thing."

"Not if you don't go." She smirked to herself.

"I'm still not going."

* * *

 **Yay! Hawaii! Be prepared for next weeks fluff xxx**

 **Guys, please leave me a review? I'd like to get to five more by next week! Can you guys do that for me? thank you x**

 **Love you all x See you next Tuesday!**


	17. Aloha Pt 1

**EARLY POST: Hey guy's tomorrow I'll be out all day so I posted Monday this week!**

 **HAWAII HERE WE COME! Guys pls leave me a review! it's really really easy and it helps me improve. I only got one last week and that amazing reader already reviewed before! Thank you by the way xx But it would be amazing to have some new reviewers to let me know what they think so I can have some more perspective!**

* * *

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Been a damn while, huh? Sorry about that...Anyway, where do I start? Caroline booked us ― and by us I mean Bon, Stefan, Care, Damon and I ― tickets to Honolulu and we're leaving tomorrow. There are three suites. One for Stefan and Caroline, one for Damon and I and one for Bonnie._

 _Poor Bon, she has no idea why she's upset. Ever since the accident, she hasn't been the same. Yeah, I compelled her to forget, but I can't make her forget the pain. I tried to compel her again Guess how that turned out? Didn't work. She's still depressed and she has no idea why. If that accident never happened I'd probably be annoyed about her and Jace. It'd be picking away at me. I acted like I wasn't affected by it, but truth be told, I was. I don't know why, it just bugged me. Probably because the guy that broke my heart was about to break my friends, or maybe it was because even though he was an asshole, I still loved him when we were together? Anyway, I can't get angry at her now. It would be beyond selfish and absolutely not on. She lost her baby for fucks sake. Even if the father was my ex boyfriend, I understand she's in pain and I respect that. Plus, she doesn't even remember dating Jace now so I couldn't bring it up even if I wanted to._

 _Sorry I got off track... Bottom line is, Bonnie's still upset._

 _Did I forget to mention that's why Caroline booked Hawaii? Oops. Well yeah, that's why. It might actually work. At least Caroline and I are confident it will. She has a whole week to soul search, and maybe meet a guy. Maybe not, but she can still have fun and forget for a bit. She's not keen though. She thinks she's fine and it's fine here in Mystic Falls. Hopefully she'll be more excited tomorrow._

 _As for me? I'm excited. I've never been to Hawaii, ― I know, I should've by now given my age ― but from what I've heard it's absolutely beautiful! It's a great opportunity to get away from home and just relax. Damon and I can explore together and it'll be nothing short of romantic. Damon on the other hand, isn't showing much interest if any at all. He says 'he likes road trips and it's too far away', but I think it's something else. Maybe Stefan can get it out of him? I doubt it though. They aren't that close. Although they are closer now. If he tells anyone anything, it's me. But he won't budge this time and I don't know why._

 _On another side of the spectrum, future me reading this is probably thinking 'what happened to my logic?' And my answer is; it's still here. It's just buried deep deep deep down. Deeper than Damon's ocean eyes. I'm not saying I don't think about finding my silver lining and Damon being a dead end. Oh trust me, I do. A whole fucking lot. And I wish I didn't. I wish we could work like human relationships do. But, we don't and I still think about it. So what I do is I fall deep. Deep into Damon instead of deep into my subconscious. Deep into his pools. So deep that I could drown. What do I do there? I distract myself. I push everything that could ruin us away and I enjoy him. Because if I choose to dwell on the negatives and wait for my life to fall apart again, it's basically already fallen apart. I would've wasted my days of happiness waiting for the happiness to end. That's just as bad as being alone. So Damon, he's my escape. And yes, he'll be gone soon. Him and me. Because if he's gone, I'm better off being dead. But right now, what's the point of sulking when I can enjoy my life ― at least until it fucks up again ― and laugh at the universe because I found a way to get out. A break from torture and sorrow. I'd rather laugh. Smile. Thrive. Be the best I've ever been and shove it in this asshole's face ― the universe. And that's what I'm doing. Yes, there are attachments that will probably ruin me by the inevitable end, but it's worth risking it to experience this glimmer I get inside the pit of my stomach when I'm with Damon for a little longer._

― _Elena_

* * *

"Guys, listen up!" Caroline announced waving her hand with the tickets in it above her head. All of them had arrived at the airport at least ten minutes earlier than the deadline Caroline had set. It was difficult to drag Damon out of the house, but Elena managed. When they arrived, Caroline was sorting through the tickets and writing a last minute shopping list for once they got through customs. "For seating I've put Damon and Elena together on the window and Bonnie, Stefan and I in the isle. The flight departs at 11am and is about eight and a half hours. We have two hours before we need to board so go eat something."

"That flight attendant looks tasty." Damon observed quietly.

"I've got blood bags," Caroline emphasised, eyeing Damon. "you can go get human food." She paused for a minute, separating the tickets into bundles. "Bon, here's yours." She smiled softly, handing Bonnie a single ticket. She couldn't help but feel bad for her. She was kind of fifth wheeling when this was supposed to be about her.

"Thanks." Bonnie replied.

"These are yours." She extended her arm towards Elena. Damon went to grab them, but she pulled away. "Elena," She grunted. "I trust you not to loose them."

"I won't." Elena smiled as Damon rolled his eyes.

"We'll see you guys at the gate at 10:30."

* * *

Elena kept her head turned towards the small rounded window as she felt for Damon's hand on the old leather seats. When she found it, she automatically relaxed. She rotated her head towards him and smiled widely. When her eyes were locked with his, she noticed something about his eyes. Something she'd never noticed before. She didn't know how she'd missed the resemblance before. But now it was clear as day. You know how on rainy days, if you're really paying attention, you can see the grey niches on the clouds? His eyes had the slightest tinge of that colour edging towards the outer rim of his pupils. Beneath the blue, if you looked close enough, you could see it. You only get to see that tinge of grey in the warm summer rain when you lay down and focus on the way the sun glares against the curves of the condensed air. That grey tinge in the slightest, mixed with the main ocean blue that you'd see when the foamy waves reached the sand on the beach made his eyes the most beautiful things she had ever seen. No, actually. His eyes, paired with his sharp jawline, his perfect eyebrows, his messy jet black hair and that smirk. That smirk of his. That, was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Now, when that smirk appeared as he caught her marvelling his beauty, she was pulled out of her trance.

"Someone's excited." He smirked at her.

"Me? No, I'm dreading a week in paradise." She pursed her lips sarcastically.

"Quit mocking me." He rolled his eyes.

"Quit moping." She stuck her bottom lip out.

"Quit being cute."

"Not possible." She simpered.

"I'm only coming because I love you." He told her.

"I love you too." She smirked, leaning into his lips. A flight attendant rolled her trolley up next to them.

"Would you like a coffee?" She asked, grinning widely. They pulled away from each other and looked up.

"Yes please, one sugar." Elena smiled politely. Damon stayed quiet.

"Newly weds?" She questioned, pouring the hot liquid into a paper cup.

"No." Damon answered.

"Engaged?"

"No." Elena repeated.

"Really? I've never seen two people that in love and not married. You two are an adorable couple." She furrowed her perfectly tweezed brows.

"Oh...thank you." Elena mumbled. She didn't really know how to respond. Marriage was off the table for Elena. Heck, it was out the door. She wanted to be with Damon but she still knew they would end. Marriage would just complicate things and honestly, she hadn't even thought about it until now.

"No problem." The lady shrugged as she handed Elena her coffee.

* * *

After their flight landed, the group found their shuttle bus and were taken to their hotel. Elena sat with Bonnie and Caroline on the bus to separate herself from Damon. After that flight attendant brought up marriage, she started acting weird. Damon was a bit rattled, but he soon got over the idea and chose to believe Elena didn't think anything of it either. He was wrong, though. She was thinking about it quite a bit after that. Pretty much the rest of the flight.

Once they had checked in to their hotel and picked their rooms, Caroline told them she had planned a few group activities and of course, no one was interested. After they all turned down the dolphin swim and the island tour, she forced them all to at least enjoy a few drinks at the bar.

"What's up Bon-ster?" Damon asked Bonnie. Caroline and Stefan had gone off somewhere and Elena was in the bathroom.

"Nothing." She shrugged, taking a sip of her sex on the beach. She hadn't even drunk half of it yet and it had been three hours. Everyone else had downed at least four drinks by now.

"Bullshitttt."

"Oh yeah? Why should I tell you?" She asked, rolling her eyes.

"Because...I won't remember any of it tomorrow." He offered.

"Fine. I thought coming to Hawaii would lift my mood." She huffed.

"Bon Bon, it's been less than a day. Give it a chance."

"Says you!" She laughed.

"Okay shut up. I am giving it a chance. Look at me, I'm partying while you're sitting here gloomy goos-eris-ating about nothing." He argued.

"Okay, so what do you suggest I do then?"

"You get up," He nudged her off her chair.

"Hey, I can get up myself!" Bonnie grunted.

"you go sit at the bar and you find someone to talk to."

"I'm talking to you." She huffed.

"I don't count. Go find someone else to talk to." Damon shook his head quickly. She shot him an 'are you fucking serious' look. "Now!"

"Alright, alright."

* * *

"Hi." Damon said loudly, as if someone just arrived. Five minutes. Five whole long minutes they had been sitting across from each other. Alone. Occasionally throwing each other glances while they sipped their drinks. The same amount of time Damon promised her when they went to Georgia five months ago. Now, though, they had five minutes of absolute awkwardness.

"Hi." She replied, smiling shyly.

"So what's up with you?" He asked, bluntly. That one was thing about drunk Damon, he wasn't really that conscious of what he said or the way he said it.

"What do you mean; _'what's up with me?'_ " She mocked.

"I mean; what. is. up. with. you. Elena?" He spelled it out slowly, as if she were a child. Again, he hadn't realised how rude he could be when he was drunk, and Elena, drunk Elena didn't take shit.

"Don't speak to me like that." She huffed, clenching her teeth.

"Like what?"

"Like I'm a child. What are we twelve?" She rolled her eyes.

"One of us is." He scoffed.

"What's up with you? You're being an asshole."

"I'm not being an asshole." He groaned. "You're being a _Sad Susie._ "

"A _Sad Susie_?"

"Yeah, a _Sad Susie_." He teased. He might have been a bit rude, but Elena had been avoiding him since they got off that plane and drunk Damon didn't care about feelings. He was purely straight up.

"I have not been a _Sad Susie_. I've been partying." She defended.

"You call sitting here in silence partying?" He chuckled dryly.

"Says you." She grunted.

"Thus why I asked you what's up. To break the silence." He stated. He held his drink up to his mouth and stuck his tongue out to feel for the straw as he stared at her. Waiting for an answer. Something. Nope, silence again. Only this time, it lasted for less time. Maybe about thirty seconds.

"Nothing's up with me Damon." Elena responded quietly.

"That's a lie."

"No it's not." She defended.

"Liar."

"I'm not lying."

"You are too." He rolled his eyes.

"Am not!" She argued.

"Jesus, you two fight like a married couple." Someone at the table next to them said.

"We're not married!" She yelled, slamming her drink down on the table. The lady mumbled a 'sorry' and turned around.

"Are you serious, Elena? That's what was up?" He asked, calmly now. He stared at her waiting for her response again.

"Yes." She sighed.

"You've been avoiding me because that stupid flight attendant thought we were newly weds?"

"Yes." She repeated, blinking once and then staring at him.

"What the hell."

"What?" She asked innocently.

"You hated the idea of us being married so much that you avoided me. How does that solve anything?" He asked, his face turning red now.

"It doesn't. I didn't hate the idea, Damon—"

"Then why the fuck would you avoid me?" He interrupted.

"It—" She paused for a second. "it's just new to me. I never thought about it before and then that lady said what she said and I freaked. It's not about being married to you. It's about being married to anyone. I just don't like the idea." She huffed. "I'm sorry I avoided you. Trust me you were barely resistible."

"I'm sorry too." He sighed sarcastically, shaking off the fact that Elena didn't want to get married. Sarcasm was his main coping mechanism.

"For what?"

"For being so god damn sexy that you found it hard to resist me." He smirked, moving his chair closer to hers. She smiled to herself and not saying anything, leaned into his chest and hugged him. She hadn't got to hug him all day and now she squeezed him tighter than ever before. He adjusted around her and pressed his lips against her hair.

"I love you." She breathed into his t-shirt. He smirked and pulled her face up to his.

"I love you too, _Sad Susie_." He chuckled. His bourbon breath hit her cheeks and she flushed with colour. Then she kissed him. Hard. Rough. Intense. Three words that best described it. The same lady from before walked up to their table and interrupted their make out session.

"Get hitched already." She laughed. Elena was to enthralled in Damon to care this time.

* * *

"Good! You all made it on time!" Caroline squealed, looking up from the sheet she'd written about 1000 things on. It was a brochure from that dolphin swim she wanted them to do yesterday. "Something's wrong." She frowned, scanning the room with her eyes as she continued to write in her perfect handwriting. "Where's Bonnie?" She asked. After everyone shrugged, she pulled out her phone and balanced it between her ear and shoulder like she did when she was booking the flights. Only caroline could write, scan the room and be on the phone at the same time.

 _"Hello?"_ Bonnie answered.

 _"Bonnie, where are you?!"_ Caroline panicked.

 _"Well I was sleeping."_

 _"Hurry up, we're waiting for you!"_ She rolled her eyes.

 _"For what?"_ Bonnie mumbled.

 _"We're going swimming with dolphins, remember?"_

 _"Oh shit. Um, I can't go to that."_ She breathed, hoping Caroline wouldn't release her wrath on her.

 _"Why not?"_ Caroline groaned.

 _"I promised I'd go on an island tour with Enzo."_ She explained.

 _"Oh ok—Wait who the fuck is Enzo?!"_ Caroline's eyes lit up. She finally stopped writing and payed her full attention to the phone.

 _"I met him at the bar last night."_

 _"Ooo."_ Caroline teased.

 _"Not like that."_ Bonnie scoffed. _"Just a friend."_

 _"Elaborate! Where's he from—"_

 _"He's British, but he lives in the states."_ She explained

 _"Score Bon!"_ Caroline squealed.

 _"Just friend's, Care."_

 _"Oh, whatever. Well you get a pass on this one, but only because you're having fun."_ Caroline smiled. She was happy her friend finally had something to be happy about. Not that this Enzo guy was much, but the fact that she made a friend last night was definitely a start. " _I have to go, but we'll see you tonight?"_

 _"Yep. Bye!"_

 _"Bye!"_ She hung up, pausing for a minute to regain her thoughts and then heading over the the very confused others.

"Where's Bonnie?" Stefan asked.

"She met a friend last night and he's giving her a tour of the island." She explained.

"He?" Elena asked.

"She assured me they're just friends but I don't know. He's British so he's probably smoking hot." Caroline rambled.

"Does this mean we don't have to go swimming with the dolphins?" Damon asked.

"No. No we're still going." Caroline smirked. "It will be fun, I promise!"

"Care my head is pounding." Elena groaned. Yep, she had drunk that much that she had a hangover. Difficult to get when you're a vampire. So did Damon. They both had the worst hangovers ever. Meaning, they had forgotten all of their conversation about marriage and some last night. Elena had even forgotten about what the flight attendant said on the plane. For Elena maybe it solved the problem, but Damon. Well, it might have just fucked him up.

"I don't care. We're all going."

* * *

 **Hope you guys liked it! Yes it was kind of a filler! Part two of Hawaii will be heaps better! Oh and introducing Enzo! Hmmm and what's this talk about marriage? You'll have to keep reading!**

 **PLEASE REVIEW LOVELY READERS! As I mentioned before, the lovely reader that reviewed me this week already reviewed me before! It's great that they did because it really helps me improve with my writing to make it better for all of you! SO thank you** ukarnaj68 **! But please review it doesn't take long and it will make this story much more enjoyable xx**

 **See you next Tuesday!**

 **\- Jasmine**


	18. Aloha Pt 2

**HAWAII PT. 2! I think this week is heaps better than last week bc there's more DE fluff! Hope you like it! Enjoy DE and the rest xx**

* * *

Two days. That's all the time they had left in Hawaii. The week was spent doing touring, dolphin swimming, shopping and other touristy stuff Caroline forced them to do. And even though none of them would admit it, they had fun. Even Damon. Caroline didn't let Bonnie get away from anything else, but Bonnie found every excuse to hang with her new friend Enzo. Caroline and Elena did their best to interrogate her, but Bonnie didn't give away much. Well, as long as Bonnie was happy, her friends were. So they didn't mind the privacy. Elena begged that the last two days would be beach days and Caroline agreed. Finally they could all do what they came to do; relax.

"Where should _we_ sit?" Caroline asked, holding her hand over her face for shade.

"We?" Damon asked, raising a brow as he took Elena's hand into his. "No! No, no, no, no. Did I mention No?" He quipped. Elena couldn't help but giggle while Caroline stared him down. "We," He started, gesturing to Elena and himself. "are sitting over there." He pointed.

"Fine, I didn't want to sit next to you anyway." Caroline scoffed, laying her towel down, Stefan following.

"Good."

"Great." She challenged.

"Amazing."

"Fantastic." She spat.

"Super Dooper." He grunted.

"Super...dooperer." She trailed.

"I win." He smirked over his shoulder as he walked away with Elena.

* * *

Damon lay his towel down when Caroline and Stefan were out of sight.

"We didn't need to walk this far away from them." Elena breathed as she dropped her stuff on the sand and began to unbutton her shorts.

"Yes, we did." Damon nodded, lifting his shirt over his head and laying down on his towel. Elena proceeded to take her shirt off so that the two were both in their bathers. He patted the spot next to him but she stayed standing, marvelling the view she had. Not of the ocean, no. Of Damon. From this angle she could she the sharp ridges of his nose and cheeks stretching down to the carved masterpiece of his chest. She couldn't see his eyes though. That was probably a good thing. It kept her from fainting. In this light, it hurt to watch him. He shined. He was brighter than the sun and he was too beautiful for her eyes. It was hard to look at him, and it was even harder to look away from him. She was going blind. But she enjoyed looking at him, even with the glare. She hadn't really got much of a chance to enjoy Hawaii with him yet. It was all group activities and tours. She wanted to relax with him. Only him. "Elena?"

"Yeah?" She asked, blinking hard.

"Are you going to sit down?" He asked, squinting up at her. She nodded and bent down.

"Move over, I didn't bring a towel." She smiled, nudging his bicep. He scooted over and she almost instantly curled around him, flicking one leg over his stomach and wrapping a hand around his shoulder like she always did. She placed her head just above his collar bone as he welcomed her with his arm. He smelt of the sun, as if it had seeped deep into his skin, and she found herself inhaling silently as if he were something delicious.

"Are you cold or something?" He asked, chuckling slightly.

"No." She mumbled against his jaw. "I just love you." She smiled looking up at his face. Now, she could see his eyes. That blue. The same blue you see when the foamy waves reach the sand on the beach. She wanted to drown in his blue. In the waves. "Let's go." She looked towards the beach, lifting herself off him.

"Where?" He asked, sitting up now.

"To the park." She simpered sarcastically. "In the water." She smiled.

"We just sat down." He whined, yanking her hand towards him.

"And?" She smirked, flicking his hand away and running down to the edge of the water. "Who's the scaredy cat now?" She teased, walking up to her knees.

"Fine." He huffed, speeding to her. He picked her up bridal style and walked further into the water until he was submerged up to his pecks.

"What are you doing?" She asked, as he lifted her above his head. "Damon?"

"You said you wanted to go in the water." He smirked as he threw her. She shot him a glare as she emerged from the salty water, untying her now sticky hair.

"You always do this to me!" She complained, pouncing on him as he broke out in laughter. She clung to his back, trying to pull him backwards to push him fully under the water, but she wasn't strong enough. He flipped her around and held her waist close to him so her legs were wrapped around him and her arms were around his neck. Her front to his front, so she couldn't attack him.

"You're not stronger than me." He smiled widely, leaning in to catch her lips. She swiftly turned her head and dodged him, trying to wriggle out of his grip.

"Let go of me, Damon!" She squealed, removing her hands from his neck. As she fell backwards, her head falling back into the water, he caught her and pulled her back up against him, catching her lips with his. She slowly moved closer and stopped fighting, letting him capture her lips. His hands travelled from her waist to her thighs and hers from his neck to his hair. As he slowly tightened his grip, she pulled away, removed a hand from his hair, reached down and splashed his face. She pushed away from him and broke into laughter.

"Okay, I deserved that." He laugh-coughed.

"Damon." She said, nudging him. He didn't answer. Instead he scraped the salty droplets away from his eyelids. "Damon!"

"What?" He asked. Before she could answer, he noticed her body was covered in red spots. Burns. The type that you get when you're exposed to the sun without a daylight ring. When she flicked her hand in the water to splash him, it slipped off. "Hold on." He frowned, pulling her close into his chest and speeding her to the shore. He looked around, but he couldn't find their stuff. They must have drifted in the water. Elena's constant shrieks of pain made Damon panic. He had to find shade, and fast. He noticed a jetty a few hundred metres away and sped her under it, laying her down in the shade under the jetty on the tiny bit of wet sand. "You'll be ok." He whispered, holding her tight to prevent any sun exposure.

"I lost my ring." She grunted, clawing at Damon's arm.

"I know." He breathed. "We'll get Bonnie to make a knew one for you."

"Thank you." She half-smiled.

"Are you cold?" He asked, cocking his head up to look at her face.

"A little." She shivered.

"I'll get you my jumper. We couldn't have drifted too far." He stated, untangling himself from Elena's grip.

"No, stay." She insisted, reattaching herself to him. "I'm fine."

"Elena." He shook his head.

"Damon." She mimicked.

"Fine, I'll stay." He smiled, holding her tighter than before. Her burns had already healed, but she couldn't move at all. She was barely in the shade. Any sudden movement and she'd be exposed again. They'd have to wait for the sun to go down. Which was in about...six hours.

* * *

After about an hour of squeezing together to keep Elena out of the sun, Damon went to go look for her ring. It wasn't too far out and she could see him from where she was. A bit more shade had appeared at the back of the jetty against a concrete wall a while ago. It was low in height, meaning she had to duck her head to fit there, but it was still more comfortable than lying in a ball near the cold water.

Elena felt horrible for Damon. Watching him search endlessly for her ring was near torture. But, it was also a blessing in disguise. The fact that he had this much dedication to her, that he would search the sea floors for her tiny little ring, meant something to Elena. It meant that he'd do anything for her. That he'd be there to help her even if she didn't want his help. It meant that he was there for the long run. That they were forever. That he loved her enough to stick by her no matter what. But was it a two way street? Elena often tried to convince herself it was, but when it came down to it, she had no idea what she'd do. Her ideas where as set as stone, but would that get in the way of her thoughts about Damon? She hoped not. That was more torture than anything. That she didn't know what she'd do for him until it came down to the very moment where she'd have to know. And it scared her. A lot. Every relationship has a moment like that. When was Damon and Elena's?

"Damon!" Elena called, waving her hands to catch his attention. "Damon!"

"Yeah?" He answered, shaking the water out of his hair.

"Don't worry about it. We'll just make a new one." She insisted.

"I swear I saw it." He told her.

"Damon, It's probably washed away by now. You're searching for nothing. Just come back." She shook her head.

"Okay." He sighed, speeding to the jetty. He plonked himself next to her against the wall and put an arm around her shoulder. She didn't mind that it was wet and cold. It was actually really nice. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" She asked, surprised.

"I almost had it, but I let it slip away and I―" He started. She cut him off with her lips. She moved her hand to his face and turning his head, kissing him deeper.

"What are you talking about? You searched the ocean for me. Thank you." She whispered next to his lips, then brushed hers against his again. He writhed with her hair as she pulled away, resting her head on his.

"You're welcome." He smiled. Sitting with Damon, watching the waves was pure serenity. The Hawaiian ocean was beautiful, but with Damon by her side, it was out of this world.

"I love you." She mouthed almost silently as she repeatedly kissed along his jaw and chin. "So much."

"I love you too."

* * *

When the sun went down, Damon and Elena went to find their stuff ― which luckily wasn't stolen ― and made their way back to the hotel room. Bonnie wasn't in her room, so they had to wait 'till the morning to make Elena a new ring. They spent their night drinking and enjoying the summer breeze at the aloha bar and by the morning they were both exhausted.

Elena woke up pretty early. 8:30am. She was usually a late riser. She turned to her side, and flicked her leg around...nothing. Where was Damon? Usually she'd hook her leg around his waist and lay on his chest in the morning and he'd already be up. He'd look down at her and smirk a 'good morning'. But this morning, she turned and there was no perfect face to smother with kisses. No body to drool over. No Damon. She sat up and scanned the messy suite. He was nowhere to be seen. She lifted herself off the bed and rolled her neck, extending her arms as far as they would go. Without her regular sleep in, Elena was stiff and tired. Her hair was still in it's perfect beach waves from yesterday though. As she made her way to the bathroom, she hoped she'd hear the shower or the tap. Or any sort of noise really. Nothing. There was nothing. She looked in but all she saw was wet clothes and an empty bottle of shaving cream. She sighed and walked over to the bedside table, then picked up her phone and dialled Damon.

 _"Hello?"_ Damon answered.

 _"Hey, where are you?"_ She asked, fingering the sleep out of her eyes.

 _"I'm...out with Stefan."_ He lied.

 _"Where?"_ She questioned.

 _"The galleries. You know, on the main street?"_ He lied again. Okay, he was lying to her, but it was for a good reason. Besides, he wasn't lying about going shopping. Just about the galleries and Stefan.

 _"Since when do you willingly go shopping?"_ She giggled.

 _"Since I found out Hawaii has a John Varvatos store."_

 _"Okay, well have fun. I guess we'll just have a girls day."_ She shrugged.

 _"I'll try."_ He smiled.

 _"Oh shit."_ She huffed, rubbing her eyes.

 _"What?"_

 _"I can't go out until Bonnie makes my ring."_ She frowned.

 _"Check your hand."_ He smirked. She looked down and smiled widely. He already took care of it.

 _"I love you."_

 _"I love you too. Bye baby."_ He smirked.

 _"Bye."_ She smiled shyly.

* * *

After she cleaned herself up, Elena made her way down to the hotel breakfast bar. She spotted Bonnie and Caroline sitting down together.

"Morning guys." She smiled.

"Morning." They smiled in unison.

"Thanks for the ring, Bon." Elena said, pulling a chair out and sitting down.

"No problem." Bonnie replied, twirling her short hair. "Oh by the way, Enzo is catching the same flight back to Virginia as we are so I'm gonna sit with him on the plane. Caroline booked two doubles and a single seat on the flight back anyway so I figured you two an the boys can sit together. Hope you don't mind."

"Um...sure." Elena nodded.

"Someone's smitten!" Caroline squealed.

"No." Bonnie shook her head. "Okay maybe a little, but nothing's happening so both of you, don't say anything!"

"We won't." they smiled in unison.

"I'm back." Stefan announced, sitting next to Caroline.

"Back from shopping? Does that mean Damon's back?" Elena asked.

"Uh...yeah. Shopping. Damon's not back though." He mumbled.

"Oh okay." Elena frowned.

"Excuse me." Stefan smiled, stepping away. After he reached the hotel lobby he phoned Damon. _"Damon, where are you?"_ He asked as soon as Damon picked up.

 _"Why?"_ Damon scrunched his face. How did Stefan know he was out?

 _"Elena asked me if you were back from 'shopping.'"_

 _"I am shopping."_ Damon shrugged.

 _"Why did you tell her I was with you?"_ Stefan asked.

 _"Because she'd want to come."_ He explained.

 _"What are you doing, Damon?"_ Stefan questioned.

 _"I'll explain later. Just tell her I'm at a sale or something."_

 _"I'm not lying to her again."_

 _"Please Stefan. Don't be annoying. It's for a good reason, just trust me."_ Damon pleaded.

 _"Fine. But you better tell me what this is about."_ Stefan grunted.

 _"I will, later. Bye."_ He sighed.

 _"Bye."_

* * *

Damon came back just in time to pack their bags and head off to the airport. He didn't get much time to talk to Elena. Just small talk and occasional little kisses. Damon always had his arm around Elena though. Being Elena, she got attention from other guys. Obviously she didn't notice, but Damon definitely did. It wasn't like he didn't get attention from girls, but he was very protective and jealous. Elena was his.

"Hey guys, this is Enzo." Bonnie smiled and presented her new 'friend' to her old friends.

"Lovely to meet you all. Bonnie's told me so much about you." He smiled. The girls were mesmerised by his British accent and the boys, being jealous, tightened their grip around their girls. "You must be Caroline." He started, breaking off to her individually.

"What do you think of _Tom Hardy wannabe_ over there?" Damon asked Elena, leaning over her ear.

"Who Enzo?" She laughed. "He seems nice. And Bonnie definitely likes him." She pursed her lips, not thinking much of it. "Why?"

"No reason." Damon shrugged as Enzo came over.

"Hey mate, Damon right?" Enzo asked, extending his hand.

"The one and only." He smirked, accepting it.

"And you must be Elena." Enzo smiled, taking her hand and placing a gentle kiss on it. "Bonnie said you were beautiful."

"Yeah, _my_ girl is gorgeous." Damon agreed, putting emphasis on the 'my'.

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you both." He nodded awkwardly.

"And you." Damon dipped his head slightly as Enzo headed back to Bonnie.

 _"Flight AA7752 to Virginia, boarding now at gate 13."_

"Alright guy's here are your tickets! Bonnie get's the single, Damon and Stefan are on the window and Elena and I are on the window two seats behind you." Caroline explained. "I couldn't get the seats in the isle."

* * *

Damon hated the idea of being stuck next to his brother for six hours, but he'd have to make do. Plus, he needed to ask him something. It was rare that Damon went to his brother for advice or for anything really, but what choice did he have? It was either Stefan, or Caroline and Bonnie. If they knew what he was planning, they'd tell Elena straight away. There was a small chance that Stefan would tell Caroline, but Damon needed advice. He needed to ask someone if he was crazy or not. Ric would've been his first choice, but Stefan would suffice. And besides, Stefan was the sappy one out of the two, so this was his field.

For the first hour or so, the brothers sat in silence. Stefan had the window and all he would do was stare out it. If Damon interrupted him, he'd probably get all pissed. But Damon was burning with the desire to tell him. He needed Stefan's help.

"Stef." He mumbled. When Stefan didn't move, he tried louder. "Stefan."

"Mm?" Stefan answered, finally turning his head from that window to look at his brother.

"I need your help." He sighed

"On what?" Stefan asked, actually seeming interested for once. Again, it was rare for Damon to seek his brothers help and now Stefan wondered why.

"When I went shopping today, I was shopping for rings." He whispered, knowing Elena and Caroline were two rows behind them.

"Rings?" Stefan knitted his eyebrows.

"Engagement rings."

"Why were you shopping for...oh." Stefan gasped.

"Shh."

"Why do you need my help?" Stefan asked quietly.

"I need you to tell me I'm crazy and it's too soon and―" Damon started.

"And what? If you think it's right, it's right. You don't have to propose now if you don't want to. You can do it when you think you're both ready." Stefan cut him off. Yeah, he was the sappy brother. Damon was surprised he hadn't proposed to Caroline yet. Yes, Damon found her annoying, but Stefan obviously loved her. To be honest, Damon was even surprised by himself. He never thought he'd be getting married. For one, he was a vampire and marriage didn't really mean that much since you'd be sealing the deal by living forever. Two, he never thought he'd love after Katherine. Three, it's sappy and Damon isn't. And four, he never thought he'd find an Elena. Even if it's pointless, Damon would give anything to say Elena Gilbert was his wife. To wake up to her every morning and make her breakfast. To be able to touch her for his infinite years on earth. To smell that lavender every morning and to hear 'i love you' over and over again coming from the woman he loves' mouth. God, he had fallen and he had fallen hard. He had turned into Stefan. Or worse. He was enthralled in her love and that's all he thought about. He reminisced the way she smelt and the way her hair fell when she was gone and he drowned in her presence when she was around him. And the worst thing was, it showed. He oozed puppies and unicorns by glance now. He used to represent darkness and masculinity. Where did that guy go? He was gone. Now, Damon's purpose was to love Elena. All of her. He was so in love with her that it translated when he looked at her. Like she was the ocean and he was desperate to drown. Now he knew. She was the one now and forever. He knew he wasn't crazy now. Because now, he realised how deep his love for her actually was. It was like the ocean trenches. Deeper. So he was ready. Now he just had to make sure she was too.

"Thanks Stefan." Damon smiled.

"No problem." Stefan nodded.

"Hey Stef?"

"Yeah?" He asked.

"Wanna see the ring?"

* * *

 **YAYYYYYY! Damon bought a ring! Hope y'all are excited! Shit's about to get real. Big time. Anyway, see ya next week and stay tuned for more on Damon's plans!**

 **Please review! I've gotten heaps more since last week but if you're reading and you haven't reviewed please leave me one because it helps me improve! Thank you xo**

 **See ya Tuesday!**


	19. Down We Fall

**Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed last week! This week will be very exciting, but may be a little sad and annoying and maybe a little cleche :( Keep reading, and don't get angry with me xx Enjoy**

* * *

After the six landed in Virginia, they had to drive back to Mystic Falls. Enzo lived near Whitmore, meaning Bonnie finally had to part with him and go home with her friends. When they got home, Caroline decided to help Bonnie unpack at her house. That way she could get all the gossip about Enzo out of her. Elena said she'd unpack a bit first and meet them at Bonnie's.

As she lugged her bag up the stairs, Elena smiled at Damon weakly. She could have sped the bags upstairs, but she was beyond tired and it would take up too much of her energy. He smiled back, took the bag from her sweaty palm and carried it to their room.

"You could've just asked for help." He chuckled, setting her bag down next to the bed. She slowly shuffled into the room, stretching. "Why are you so tired?"

"I didn't sleep on the flight and I haven't had blood since yesterday Morning before we left." She explained, chucking herself on the bed. Even that simple task tired her out.

"I'll be back." He smiled, leaving the room.

"Okay." She replied, picking her limp body up from the bed. She said she'd meet Caroline and Bonnie after she unpacked, so she better get on to doing that. She lifted the heavy bag up onto the bed and slowly unzipped it. It was so full that her diary and a few pieces of clothing fell out onto the bed. She sat back on the bed and picked up the green leather book that had fell out and began to run her finger over the engraved 'E' on the bottom right corner. She still remembered so clearly the day her mother gave it to her over 150 years ago. When it ran out of pages and became old, she got it remade with new leather and pages. She had about forty green leather diaries now, stashed away in her old house. It would feel odd writing in any other book. She opened it, quickly skimming over the last entry. Then she pulled out her pen and tapped it melodically on the paper in thought. Her head hurt. It hurt too much to think. She placed a finger on her left temple and began to rub it in circles.

"Here you go." Damon smirked, extending his hand with a blood bag in it to Elena. She jumped slightly, dropping her diary face down onto the bed next to her and blinking hard once she realised it was Damon in front of her.

"You scared me." She exhaled, accepting his offering. "Thank you." She smiled widely.

"What are you doing?" He asked, leaning over to kiss her forehead as she sucked every last drop out of the blood bag.

"Nothing much, I was just-what time is it?" She panicked.

"11:30. Why?"

"I was supposed to meet the girls at Bonnie's at 11!" She shot up. All her energy was restored. She quickly turned to kiss Damon and rushed out the door.

"Ok, see you tonight then?" He asked.

"Yeah!" She called.

* * *

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late." Elena apologised as she walked into Bonnie's room.

"It's ok. We're almost done anyway." Bonnie smiled, folding a t-shirt.

"Ok." Elena dropped her keys onto Bonnie's desk.

 _*Beep. Beep. Beep.*_

"That's the microwave."

"I'll get it." Elena offered.

"I'll come with you." Caroline jumped up, following Elena into the kitchen.

"Why'd you follow me?" Elena asked, opening the microwave door.

"How good is Bonnie doing?" Caroline whispered. "Improved right?"

"Yeah she's so much happier. Hawaii was a success." Elena agreed as she pulled the popcorn out and chucked a few into her mouth.

"I know right. I still feel bad though." Caroline frowned.

"Why? She's not even sad anymore." Elena furrowed her eyebrows confusedly.

"Because she lost her baby. Whether she remembers it or not, that's so sad. And you compelled her when we promised we never would." Caroline explained.

"She asked me to. And as much as I still want to feel bad, I can't. Now that she doesn't remember I don't have to feel guilty for being angry that she went out with my ex. Losing your baby is horrific, but she doesn't remember it so she doesn't have to live through the pain and she's happy again anyway. I don't feel bad anymore." Elena admit. She'd never said that out loud and she didn't even like thinking it because to her, it was selfish. But she couldn't help it. No person would be happy that their best friend is dating and having a baby with their ex. Even if they were with someone better. Elena did her best to push those feelings aside before, but now she didn't have to feel guilty for feeling that way. Because now, Bonnie didn't even remember it and Bonnie was happy. She wasn't depressed, she wasn't sad, she was just happy and it wasn't selfish for Elena to feel that way anymore. Elena loved Bonnie to bits but this was something that Elena felt. It wasn't out of line now. At the same time, she wasn't going to make a huge deal out of it unless she had to. Unless Bonnie found out and blamed Elena for it.

"That's understandable." Caroline nodded.

"You compelled me?" Bonnie asked, stepping out from behind a wall. Obviously they didn't whisper enough, because Bonnie heard the whole thing.

"Bon, it's not what you think." Caroline assured her.

"Then what is it? Because so far, I've gathered that I dated Elena's ex, I was pregnant apparently, I lost my baby and Elena feels fine about compelling me to forget this whole situation." Bonnie grunted, clenching her teeth. She had a right to be angry, yes. But Elena wasn't going to have any of it. She was tired and not bothered to deal with the situation. The only thing she thought Bonnie could be angry about was the compulsion. She could be sad that she lost a baby, but that wasn't Elena's fault and she wasn't going to take the blame. If Bonnie tried to pin it on her, Elena was going to defend herself.

"Then it's exactly what you think." Elena sighed, running a hand through her hair.

"You promised you would never compel me."

"You asked me to, Bonnie. What was I supposed to do? I'm not gonna feel guilty for taking your pain away." Elena rolled her eyes. She may have been a little ruder than she should have, but right now she didn't care. All she kept thinking was; _'you dated my ex boyfriend and you want me to feel guilty for taking your pain away?'_. It repeated in her head about 1000 times. Along with _'don't you dare pin this on me, or I'll snap.'_

"I don't care how much pain I was in, Elena. How could you do that?" Bonnie scowled.

"What do you mean 'how could you do that'? You asked me to take your pain away so I did." She explained.

"So what? I would've gotten over it. Did you want me to die not knowing I had a miscarriage?" Bonnie yelled now.

"Don't use that on me, Bonnie." Elena scoffed. "It was for your own good. I know it, Caroline knows it, and you even knew it. I didn't have to help you. Any other person wouldn't after you dated their ex boyfriend, but I did. Why? Because I care about you. I love you. You can't sit here and point the finger when all I did was try to help you."

"You know, I don't even remember dating your ex, but I do remember you telling me you didn't care about him and that you thought he was the scum of the earth and that he helped you realise you didn't love him. So if that's why you thought it was so noble of you to compel me, it's not." Bonnie argued.

"It doesn't matter if he was the biggest dick on the face of the planet or if I don't care about him. I still dated him. You may not remember, but I tried to get over it and I told you I would support you." Elena huffed, trying to keep the tears in now. She tried so hard to convince herself she was strong and that this wouldn't make her break, but she was wrong. It killed her to fight with Bonnie, even if she was infuriating right now. "It doesn't mean it didn't hurt me. It's a rule of friendship."

"So is keeping your promises." Bonnie mumbled. She was trying to keep her tears in too. She may have been angry, but Bonnie couldn't stand fighting with Elena either. However right now, they were both frustrated and stubborn. No matter how much they wanted to hug each other and apologise and cry in each others arms, that wasn't an option. They'd both stand their ground.

"I guess you're both bad friends then!" Caroline interrupted. "You're both as bad as each other. Just shut up and hug it out."

After a minute of silence, Bonnie spoke up and calmly stated; "Elena, you need to leave."

"Gladly." Elena replied, grabbing her keys and storming out. As soon as Elena sat in her car, she let her eyes give way and they rained pools and pools of tears. She didn't mean for Bonnie to find out and she definitely didn't mean to lose it in there. She was fuming, yes, but she wanted so badly to go back inside and wrap her arms around Bonnie. She felt both Bonnie's and her own pain and it hurt so much. Why was she really angry? Bonnie dated her ex. Why was Bonnie angry? Elena broke a promise. Elena realised that it was incredibly stupid, but she still couldn't bring herself to face Bonnie. Honestly, Elena was more upset that Bonnie tried to pin everything on her, than she was about Bonnie dating Jace. Everything in the moment, mixed with her extreme fatigue messed with her head and she let everything out. Did she regret it? Fuck yes. Was she going to go back inside and sort it out? Fuck no. She couldn't handle it. She'd call Bonnie when she felt a bit better and stopped wailing. Right now she wanted one thing. One person to hold her and heal her. She wanted Damon.

* * *

When Elena got home, she dropped her jacket and keys on the floor and blew her nose into a tissue. God, she was so sick of crying. She hadn't cried in so long and this time it just hit her hard. Damon would make it better though. She made her way up the stairs and slowly walked into their room. When she walked in, her eyes were closed. She breathed loudly and walked over to the bed. When she opened her eyes, she saw a different version of Damon. One she'd never seen before. He was lying on the bed reading a page of her diary. The diary she wrote everything about her theory and how she didn't know if they were going to last and all the rest of her negative thoughts in. Thoughts she'd never told him or anyone. He looked up at her and didn't say anything, staring at her swollen eyes. She glanced down at the paper for a second and noticed a few wet drops on it. Fresh. They were tears. Damon's. She closed her eyes for a minute and exhaled loudly.

"Damon, I―" She started.

"Just don't, Elena." He sighed, dropping the diary on the bed as he stood up. "I don't want to hear it." He croaked. She could tell he had been crying because she'd only heard that croaky voice once. It was when he was explaining the way Katherine broke his heart to her a week after they met. Her writing hurt him so much that he croaked when he spoke. He was so angry and upset that he didn't even want to yell.

"Please, Damon. I'm sorry." She almost cried, grabbing his neck and lifting one hand to his cheek.

He stared dead into her eyes and said; "So am I."

"Where are you going?" She sobbed, as he moved her hand away and started to walk away. He didn't answer her, he just sped out of the house. Where he was going, even he didn't know. Just away. She didn't even know what he read, but it must have been bad. She went to the bed and filled the dent in the bed where he sat. She picked up the diary and looked for the date of the entry. It had smudged. A tear had diffused the ink. She started reading aloud on the page he was on.

 _"Dear Diary,_

 _I have a theory. A theory about silver linings..."_

Shit. He probably read her theory and thought she believed that their relationship was bullshit. That she was in it for his love, but she didn't really love him. How ironic. The page he read was the page that could hurt him the most. When she left her diary on the bed it must have been open on that page. _'He probably didn't read the date.'_ She thought. She began to flick through the other pages looking for fresh tear marks. Nothing. It was only that page. What was worse was that the very entry after that described how enthralled she was in him even though she'd only known him for a week. A few pages further Elena described how she couldn't live without him and compared his beauty to the stars. He missed everything good she wrote about him and read how she thinks that everything will end and no one finds true love and every relationship is a waste of time.

She fought with Bonnie and came home wanting to hold Damon. Instead, she pushed him further away than ever and it fucking sucked. Damon didn't come home that night. She was left to cry herself to sleep. In the morning, she pulled out her diary and opened it to a new page. Future her had to read this and remember how she fucked up her life yet again.

 _Dear Diary,_

 _My mind is gone and I'm losing grip. I've cried enough tears to drown in. Why? Yesterday, I fucked up. Really bad. I had a massive fight with Bonnie because she found out about the compulsion and Damon read my diary and disappeared. Ironic that I'm writing, when my writing is what broke the love of my life's heart._

 _Let's start with Bonnie; I met Bonnie and Caroline when I 'transferred' to Mystic Falls High in senior year, six years ago. Bonnie and Caroline were 18 and I was 165. Well, I looked 18 anyway. We were on the cheer team together and Caroline was the captain. Little story; Care broke her arm so I fed her my blood and the next day this bitch Rebekah, that Caroline had rivalry with since forever_ ― _who was also a vampire_ ― _ripped her throat out. Luckily, I had fed her my blood and she turned. We soon found out Bonnie was a witch and we've been best friends ever since._

 _I guess that's what depresses me the most about Bonnie and I's fight about Jace and the compulsion and all that other bullshit. Six years of friendship feels ruined now. I feel horrible, but I can't go over there. I just can't bring myself to do it. At least not until I fix shit with Damon._

 _How did that happen? I dropped my diary and it landed on the entry where I write about silver linings and how I don't believe anything lasts and basically, Damon read it while I was out and when I got back, I tried to explain and he didn't want to hear it. He didn't even yell at me, he just calmly looked at me and left. I think it was worse than him getting angry with me. You know you've really fucked up, when the person you hurt doesn't even want to talk to you, or look at you, or even be around you._

 _I honestly don't know what to do. I made a mistake and now, suddenly, everything is over. I've literally cried a river and a half. Without Damon, I can't do anything. We had become so close that I didn't know where he ended and I began. Now it just feels like the end. Like I'm in some hell without love, protection, warmth, and most of all Damon. I'm sitting in our room and all I can do is drown in his absence. Cry. Wail. All I can do is continue feeling empty and hollow._

 _I know I said we would end, but not like this. I didn't expect to come home and everything to be over. I'm so distraught I can't even cry anymore. My eye sockets have run out of moisture. The only person I can talk to is Caroline, but I'm finding it hard to breathe, so I don't know if I'm going to get any words out. Worth a try right? Any chance to fix what I've done, I'll take. But not right now. I'm too weak. I'll probably call Caroline tomorrow. I already tried calling Damon about fifty times. He obviously didn't answer. Still, hearing; 'It's Damon. Leave a message.' over and over made me feel so much better._

 _I just noticed I'm wearing Damon's shirt. The smell of his skin lingers on me and now I feel even shitter. It's going to be twice as hard to feel better now, when all I smell is Damon. This love has taken the biggest toll on me than it ever could and even if Damon never forgives me, I'll be enthralled in him forever. Because it ended in the worst way it could._

 _Maybe humanity is just nasty and there's no silver lining. Maybe I was right._

― _Elena_

* * *

 **Sorry :((( Please don't be angry it had to happen. There isn't much left of the book so it will be fixed soon. Delena prevails!**

 **Please leave a review and don't be turned off by this fight! I'm a sucker for happy endings so don't be worried :)))**

 **See you next Tuesday xx**


	20. It Is Real

**Hope you enjoy this week xx**

* * *

Elena was miserable. She was bored, and down right empty. She couldn't think of one word to describe her current state. Corrupt, maybe? She'd never felt so neglected. So alone. She thought back to that weekend where Damon went on a boys trip. She thought she felt lonely then. Now, she was dry to the bone of any emotions. She had cried all she could, she had lost her voice, ― which she didn't even think was possible for a vampire ― her skin was dry and she hadn't fed in at least three days. Now, she was empty. Corrupt. Looking back, she didn't even qualify on that weekend. There was no feeling that lingered in the hollow of her stomach like last time. There was no longing. She didn't even want to stare at her phone lock screen this time. She couldn't even look at his face. It would make her cry tears she no longer had access to. Her tear ducts were too dry. There was no Elena anymore. She didn't even have a personality. There was just a drained, limp body.

Not even that. She had cried so much she couldn't even feel her body. This time, Damon's sudden absence was pulling her apart. Everything was never ending. Even when he wasn't there she was drowning in him. Their memories. Some days, she'd feel everything at once. Other days, she'd feel nothing at all. She honestly didn't know what was worse; drowning beneath the waves of memories and emotions or dying from the thirst of them.

Sometimes, she'd get echoes of him travelling through her. Almost like vibrations. They'd be small memoirs of him. Damon's things, that no one else did like he did. His nicknaming, his iconic eyebrow raise, the way he'd scrunch his face when he thought something was stupid, his sarcastic comments paired with that eye thing he did. Right now, it was his cheeky smirk.

She finally sat up and stretched her limbs as she ran her hands along the edge of the bed. The brim. Without even looked at the spot, a memory vibrated through her. She was kneeling on the bed and Damon was getting ready to leave for his boys weekend. He started to walk away from the bed, but Elena tugged him towards the brim. Trying to talk him into staying. Now, she blinked long and hard and swallowed all the moisture left in her mouth. She was brought back to reality. Just a second ago, she felt him touching her. His fingers on her forearm. How did she feel him on her, when he's not on her skin? That was how much control he had over her. That he could bury himself so deep in her subconscious to be able to indent his touch on her skin. Just like last time, There were certain triggers that would evoke these attacks on her brain. Only this time, it was worse. The moments would hit her like a hammer. They'd knock her till she was less than nothing. They were trying to tell her to get the fuck up and go find Damon but they were just making her weaker. Remembering the things they did hurt her subconscious. Damaged it. She had discovered at least fifteen more triggers than last time in the past three days. Not only did she long for Damon, but these memories, these moments of impact were impacting her more now that he was actually gone. Maybe for good.

She looked down and noticed she was still in his shirt. She hadn't changed out of it since he left three days ago. She was drenched in his bourbon scent and it was stabbing her nostrils. She decided she'd have a shower. It was long overdue and his scent wasn't making her feel any better.

She raised from the mattress and walked toward the door, trying to shift her thoughts onto something other than Damon so she could at least be strong enough to go looking for him. She opened the cupboard and tugged a towel off the shelf. As she made her way to the bathroom, she glared at the doorway. Before the moment could smash her brain, she pivoted on her heel and turned into the bathroom. She started to unbutton his shirt, but for some reason, she didn't want to take it off. It was like a piece of her she needed. She rolled it off anyway, and slowly folded it, leaving it on the bench. She couldn't bring herself to drop it on the floor. It meant too much to her. She placed her towel on the sink next to the perfectly folded shirt and turned around, glancing at the bathtub, then the shower, then both. She didn't notice, but she was repeating every single thing she did last time Damon was gone, adding in a few new steps occasionally. First, she went to the cupboard and grabbed a towel, next she stopped in the doorway, then she peeled her clothes off ― although this time it was his shirt not her pyjamas ― and then analysing both the bath and the shower to figure out which one was less risky if she wanted to get her mind off Damon. Last time was almost practice for the real thing. The main difference between this time and last time was that last time, she knew he was coming back. But this time, she wasn't so sure.

Repeating her steps from a few months ago, she twisted her heels and chose the shower. A safer choice. As the searing water cascaded down her back, she took a deep breath, clearing him from her mind. It was hard, but soon, Elena had almost forgotten about him. Not completely. Another difference between this time and the ' _practice run_ '.

She dropped the soap and bent over to pick it up, but she subconsciously knew there was another moment coming if her backside made contact with that tiled wall. So, she stepped forward and missed the wall on her way back up. She was already ruined enough, that moment could've fucked her up beyond return.

She let the water seep down her hair one last time and hopped out of the shower, wrapping her moist body in the towel. She turned the sink tap on and drenched her face in the chilled stream. She scraped her cheeks, releasing the droplets from her face and wiping the jewelled dew off the mirror. As she sensed the new trigger, she turned her head, heading back to the bedroom. She was getting better and better at dodging them, but that was the only thing she did well right now.

She slipped on her panties and with hesitation went for her own clothes, quickly slipping on her a pair of shorts and a t-shirt before she could convince herself to go back to Damon's shirt. She walked back to the bed and hoped with all her life that just like last time, she was pulled back by a pair of muscly arms wrapped around her stomach, but there was nothing. Still her wrist blazed where his fingers would've met her skin. The burns didn't show but it was hard to breath with ash in her lungs. It was so hard to breathe. She was suffocating in his absence. It burned her more that he didn't pull her back. She turned and made her way downstairs to the basement below the house. May as well eat right? As she opened their blood fridge, she noticed all the bags were AB Positive. Damon had restocked them all to that type for Elena. She picked up a pint and squeezed it tight until it burst and the blood splattered across the room. As she looked down at her now blood drenched clothes, her eyes clouded with nothing other than those familiar salty tears that she'd shed for what felt like an eternity. She made her way back up to the kitchen. As she took her shirt off and started to sponge off the blood stains, she couldn't help wondering what Damon was thinking, wherever he was. Probably not Elena anymore.

That was it. She wasn't going to sit in their bed all day and sulk. If she wanted to be pathetic, she would've flipped the switch by now. She pulled her phone out of her back pocket and scrolled through her contacts. If she couldn't talk to Damon, she needed her best friend. She was sad that it couldn't be Bonnie, but there was no way she was strong enough to fix that right now. The only person that would get her spirits up enough to talk to Damon was _Miss Happy_ herself.

"Caroline, it is." She half smiled, dialling her friend.

* * *

Damon had been sitting at the Mystic Grill bar, drinking bourbon since he left Elena in their room three days ago. He compelled the owner to let him have the bar to himself. He could go home, but Elena would be there. Not only did he not want to kick her out, but he thought she would've found him by now. _'I guess a theory meant more to her than me'_ He thought. Maybe he was wrong for reading Elena's diary, but you can't blame him? He didn't think she had anything to hide anyway. Weren't they supposed to be sharing everything with each other? Isn't that what couples do? No secrets right? At least that's how Damon thought it worked. He wasn't even really mad that she kept something from him. What hurt him, was that she had such low self esteem, that she created this theory, this idea to live by in order to feel better about this shitty world. How could she do that? How could she diagnose a relationship to be doomed before it even starts? That's why he was upset. Because Elena Gilbert believed her and Damon's relationship was never going to last. That they would never get married. She just went along with it for the ride.

He thought all her feelings were real. How could they not be? He recognised fake love better than anyone after what Katherine put him through. But the fact that she was expecting their relationship to fuck up hurt him. Because Damon wanted forever. Elena may have wanted forever as well, but she was holding back because she believed no one gets forever. And she might have been right.

Damon even considered it for a second. She had been through so much hurt and misery that she just expected the worst. That way when shit fucked up, it didn't hurt as much. He understood why she thought that way. But what he didn't understand, was that after all this time they spent together, all the memories and all the love that built up, Elena hadn't changed her mind. And he knew she hadn't, because if she had, she would've come for him by now.

What was worse was that he admired her still. She had low self esteem, she was corrupt, she had crazy theories that she thought were the backbone to everything, but he still admired her. Why? Because she managed, without even trying, to get Damon to change for her. No one else could change him, but when she came into his life, he changed in an instant.

Right now, he was done thinking Elena was coming for him. He knew she wasn't. But he didn't think he had it in him to go to her. He had saved her so many times that he needed her to save him this time.

* * *

Caroline stormed over to the grill with one thing on her mind. One thing she had to crack; Damon. It was ironic since usually, she couldn't stand talking to him. But today, she had to become his friend in order to fix their relationship. Not only did she hate seeing her best friend so broken like she was, but she once ruined their relationship and this was her one shot to fully redeem herself.

Damon heard a pair of heels click on the wooden floors behind him and he turned his head. He groaned and took a huge sip from his half empty bourbon bottle as the blond pulled the stool next to him out and sat down. She stared at him for a minute, waiting for him to acknowledge her.

"Hello?" She coughed.

"What Barbie? The salon's down the street." He pointed, slurring his words.

"This is going to take a while." She sighed, pulling a bottle of water out of her bag. "Drink this. I need you to sober up if you're going to go talk to Elena." She explained, handing him the bottle.

"I'm not going to talk to Elena, so I won't need it." He refused.

"Drink it!" She growled, snatching the bourbon out of his hand and forcing him to grab the water.

"Fine, mom." He huffed, taking the lid off the bottle and sculling it. "Now what do you want?"

"I want you to stop being an asshole and go talk to Elena."

"a) I'm not being an asshole, b) I will not go talk to Elena, c) stop poking in our business." He quipped.

"I'm trying to help you, Damon." She sighed. "You may not see me as a friend but I think I owe it to the both of you to help you work this out."

"It was your 'help' that broke us up last time. I think I'll pass." He scoffed.

"I know was the reason that broke you up last time. That's why I'm trying to redeem myself. This is my way of saying sorry."

"You could've said sorry ages ago." He rolled his eyes.

"Is that what you want?" She asked. "If I apologise, will you hear me out and at least consider going to Elena?"

"Sure." He slurred.

"Fine." She clenched her teeth. "I'm sorry I made Elena think you cheated on her." She whispered.

"Did you say something?"

"I'm sorry I made Elena think you cheated on her." She said a little louder.

"Come again?" He asked, raising his hand up to his ear mockingly.

"I'm sorry I made Elena think you cheated on her, ok!" She yelled. "I'm sorry."

"You're forgiven." He nodded.

"That's it. You forgive me? You hate me." She questioned.

"Believe it or not blondie, I don't hate you. I just find you annoying and ridiculous and stubborn and infuriating." Damon told her. "All I wanted was an apology."

"That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me." She smiled.

"Don't flatter yourself."

"Whatever. Now you have to listen to me." She smirked. "I prepared a presentation." She clapped.

"Oh boy." He smiled sarcastically.

"You and Elena are meant to be together." She started, pulling out photos of them from her back." You can't throw all this away for something she wrote before you were even together. It's not fair that you give up. You may not think she's missing you but she is, trust me. She's been crying non stop, she can't eat, she feels like a piece of her is missing. What's that piece? You." She explained, laying all the photos across the bar bench. She pulled out her phone. "Here's a clip from when you two were separated for a day." She said playing him a video on her phone.

 _*** Caroline: "This is video diary number three! Elena, say hi!"_

 _Elena: "Hi."_

 _Caroline: "Why are you so sad?"_

 _Elena: "I don't know."_

 _Bonnie: "I know. It's because she's missing Damon."_

 _Elena: "Maybeeee."_

 _Bonnie: "He's picking you up today, lighten up."_

 _Elena: "I can't."_

 _Caroline: "Elena, why are you crying?!"_

 _Elena: "It's like a piece of me is missing."_

 _Bonnie: "Kids, this is what love looks like. The early stages at least."_

 _Caroline: "It's ok, Damon will be here in fifteen minutes anyway."_

 _Elena: "My face is probably red now. He can't see me like this!"_

 _Caroline: "Leave that to me" ***_

Damon was a bit confused. If Elena couldn't stand a day away from Damon, when they weren't fighting, how was she doing right now. He knew he wasn't supposed to worry about whether she was alright because of their current situation, but he couldn't help but feel for her. It also made him think. Elena loved him that much that she cried when she was separated from him. But why couldn't she come and find him then? _'because she's broken, dummy'_ He thought as he fiddled with the ring he'd bought in Hawaii.

"Damon? Are you with me?" Caroline asked, waving his hand in front of Damon's face.

"You don't need to convince me anymore." He said, snapping out of his trance. "I'll go talk to her."

"Really? But I'm not even halfway through my presentation." She complained. Damon nodded and stretched as he rose from the bar stool he'd been sitting on for three days. "Hold up. What's in your hand?"

"What are you talking about?" Damon asked, clenching his fist to hide the ring.

"Sit your ass back down and open your hand." She growled. He obeyed, knowing he wouldn't get out of this. "OH MY GOD, YOU WERE GOING TO PROPOSE TO HER?"

"Calm down. Yes, I _was_."

"When did you buy it?" She asked, excitedly.

"The last day in Hawaii."

"And you didn't even want my blessing?" Caroline rolled her eyes.

"I was gonna get Bonnie's blessing."

"Well you ain't getting that. Bonnie and Elena had a huge fight."

"When?" He asked. Now he was worried about her.

"The day we came back from Hawaii." She explained. Shit, that was the same night he read her diary. That's why she came home with puffy eyes. He made a mental note to ask her about that later, _when_ they made up.

"I've got to go." Damon huffed, standing back up.

"Wait, I just need to know one thing." Caroline tugged him back. "What was the first thing that told you, you were in love with Elena?"

"I don't know. Why?"

"Think."

"Ok, um, I guess...when we first met, I felt like I could immediately trust her. In two weeks of knowing her, she'd become my best friend and I found myself running to tell her things. I guess it was when I realised, when something happens, she's the person I want to tell. I know it's the most basic indicator of love, but it's what did it for me." He explained.

"You have my blessing." She squealed, pulling Damon into a hug. He was surprised at first but he slowly hugged her back.

"Thanks, Caroline." He smiled.

"Oh, and can you maybe casually ask Stefan what he thinks about marriage?" She asked.

"Sure." He nodded, waving before he sped off.

* * *

Damon stood outside the door and took a few deep breaths. He didn't know how this was going to go, but in the end, he just wanted her to be happy. Whether it was with or without him. He knocked on the door slowly. As it opened, he saw her red, puffy face and he sunk. No matter how angry he was, he couldn't stand to see the woman he loved in pain. She had obviously been crying and he just wanted to be there for her. He resisted the urge to pull her into his arms and comfort her.

"We need to talk." He stated, stepping in.

"So talk." She sniffed, trying to hold back more tears.

"What I read the other day couldn't have been written by the girl I fell in love with." He started, leaning against the doorway to the parlour. "The girl I fell in love with was overly optimistic and always brightened my day. She had me thinking about marriage and sappy stuff, when that's not me. She glowed when she walked into the room and she had the ability to change people in the first few seconds of meeting them. There is no way, that girl, you, are the same person that wrote that diary entry." He shook his head. She just stood back and listened. "You changed me, Elena, and I thought I changed you."

"You did, Damon. You changed me into that happy person you're describing." She smiled. She couldn't think of any other way to stop the tears from escaping. So she smiled. It was her coping mechanism. "I'm sorry I kept that from you."

"It's not that you kept it from me." He sighed. "What hurts is that you felt so bad, that you created this idea to live by in order to feel better about this shitty world." He explained, getting louder. "The world is shitty, Elena. Get over it. You diagnosed our relationship before it even began. So what sucks, is that the love of my life believes our relationship is never going to last."

"I'm sorry, Damon." She yelled. "What do you want me to say? I wrote that diary entry before I even met you. I'm a different person now."

"Are you?" He asked. "If you were, you would've come to me and apologised and explained this two days ago. Instead I sat at a bar, drinking the day away thinking maybe Elena will come for me. Maybe she cares as much as I do."

"Is that what you wanted? Me to come rescue you? I don't know if you're seeing me right now, but I'm a mess." She laughed sarcastically. "You know what? I do have low self esteem. I'm broken, Damon. But you love me anyway. Not because you want to fix me, but because I'm the only one who knows you're just as broken as I am. Not Stefan, not Alaric. Me. I'm not perfect. Far from it, actually. If you don't want to take me as I am, then why are you here?!"

"Because you make me into someone I can't even imagine! You make me happy, even when you're awful. Right now, I'm thinking about how much I wanna kiss you and love you and it's so hard to resist you even when I'm angry with you. Even when your yelling at me I think you're beautiful. Even when you're a mess I can't take my eyes off of you. I would rather be with you ― even the you that is broken and diminished ― than with anyone else in the world. That's why it shakes me to my core that you feel this way about yourself. You don't see it, but you are the most perfect thing in the world and I'm battling with myself to stay angry with you. To pick at any flaw is difficult."

Elena paused for a minute. She tried to shake off all the compliments he just gave her, but they kept repeating in her head and all she wanted to do was be with him. No one had ever felt this way about Elena Gilbert. But Damon Salvatore was something else. He was compassionate and more caring than he thought he was. "So don't." She finally said, swallowing. "We were happy until you read that stupid thing I wrote months ago. I was happy. I _am_ happy."

"How do I know you're truly happy? I mean, you assured me the few times I felt insecure about it that you were, but I don't know whether to believe you, Elena." He exhaled loudly.

"Okay, fine, yeah, I mean, I kept that theory from you. But that's it. I'm happy. Just like you were three days ago before all of this happened."

"You know what would make me happy? To know that this entire time that I've been completely in love with you that what you actually felt for me, was real." He murmured, his voice almost cracking. Elena could tell it hurt him to get those words out. She wanted nothing more than to run into his arms, but she had to have a bit more self control.

"It is real." She replied, walking closer to him until they were merely inches apart.

"Elena, I can't deal with anymore heart ache." He shook his head.

"You won't have to. I'm here." She smiled weakly, lifting her hand to his face. He lifted his up to hers and slowly slid it off his cheek. She could see he was battling with himself. Obviously her hand being on his cheek didn't help. "You came here telling me you're angry with me, then you said you want me and now you're saying you don't know if you want me? What do you want, Damon?"

"I want you. But I want you to believe our relationship is going to last, because otherwise it's pointless. I don't want to be endlessly devoted to someone who doesn't think she can do the same. I love you, that means I'm not just here for the pretty parts. I'm here no matter what. I just want you to be too. And I know it's selfish, but I want forever. If you don't, then lets end it now because I can't live a lie. I've done it once and I can't do it again."

"I want you too." She breathed, lifting her hand back up to his face. "I want forever with you too. I love you, Damon. I'm right here." She smiled, pulling his face down to hers. As their lips met, her whole body mended. All her wounds closed up and she was whole again. And so was he. They were completely healed. All Elena wanted was Damon. All of him. If that meant slowly letting go of her theory, she was willing. But it would take time. She hoped he knew that. He leaned further into her, placing one hand gently on the small of her back and the other under her knees. He carried her upstairs and lay her down on the bed, never daring to disconnect their lips. Tonight was meant for a whole lot of healing, and he never wanted to leave her side again.

* * *

 **DE are back! Be prepared for some more fluff and loveeeee. This chapter was more about fixing the relationship, but I hope you liked it anyway x It was super long! Over 4000 words!**

 **Please review! Thanks to all who recently reviewed!**

 **See you next week and next year ;)**


	21. Ice On The Lake

**Hope you all had a great new year! So glad last year is finally over, it really was a shit one.**

 **A couple things!**

 **1) You will hate me and love me for this chapter! But pls don't hate me I'll fix it, 2) Short smutty stuff in this chapter ;), 3) Next week will be a little different so make sure to read my authors note at the bottom of this chapter! 4) sorry this is late! My internet wasn't working!**

* * *

 _Dear Diary,_

 _The last month has been great. Since Damon and I made up, we've been inseparable and it's been amazing. I never knew I could love someone as much as I do Damon. He is...my everything. And that's why, I've decided to let my theory go. He's changed me, and I owe it to him to forget. To not worry about anything other than him. I like to think I've completely let it go sometimes but the truth is, I'm getting there. I try to forget as much as I can, but it will pop into my brain when I have nothing else to think about. It's like it's trying to make me hang onto it before I completely let it go. I'm not giving in though. I made a promise to Damon and I intend on keeping it. I'm letting it go. I'm sure he knows it will take time. All I know is if I want Damon, I need to move on. Damon's enough of a silver lining for me and as soon as I completely detach myself from this idea, everything will be perfect._

 _As much as the last month has been great, I've felt like something's missing. I've been missing Bonnie. I honestly thought she would've at least messaged me by now, but I can't really talk. I've been too scared to message her. In some ways, I was right. She shouldn't have gone out with my ex and blamed me for breaking our promise, but I definitely overreacted and didn't think about my own actions and her feelings. I should've come up with other ways to make her forget and I should've let the Jace thing go. I see that now. But I don't know if Bonnie will forgive me, and I can't stand the thought of being without her any longer. We were best friends. We are best friends. She's a huge chunk of my life and I need her back with me. I need to talk to her. I'm sure if we talked it out we could see eye to eye. I just haven't found the time and I don't know if she wants to talk to me. Maybe I'll text her and see if she replies._

 _Caroline said when I'm ready she'll arrange for Bonnie and I to talk. I'm assuming she plans to trick us into going out with her and lock us in a room together. If that's the only way I can see Bonnie, I guess I'll settle._

 _I honestly just hope Bonnie doesn't hate me and we can go back to being friends soon. I've been having some nightmares about that actually._

― _Elena._

* * *

"Elena?" Damon asked, wiping the sweat off her forehead. "Elena?" He repeated, gently shaking her so she could wake up. "Elena!" He yelled, shaking her a little harder. She slowly opened her eyes and looked up at him. She must have been crying in her sleep because the her eyes were red, swollen and wet.

"Damon?" She croaked, sitting up and throwing herself on his stiff figure.

"It's okay, I'm here." He pulled her close to his chest and stroked her hair softly as she let everything out.

"B-Bonnie hat-es me-e." She stuttered. He could feel his skin bleed as she dug her nails into his back, but he didn't care. He gently pressed his lips against her forehead and rubbed her skin in large circles, hoping to calm her down.

He was going to say _'she doesn't hate you'_ , but knowing that would just make her feel worse, he opt for; "It's not real."

"I-I know, but I'm sc-ared, Da-mon." She breathed, trying to steady her breath. She wasn't crying anymore, but there was a huge lump in her throat still. "Wha-t if she n-never forgives me-e?"

"Hey, don't think like that. You've been best friends for years, I'm sure she's missing you just as much as you're missing her." He assured her. "Go back to sleep."

"I can't now." She mumbled, lying down on top of her sheets, looking up at Damon. "Plus, I'm starving."

"I'll go get you some blood." He smiled, hopping off the bed and walking out of the room. "I love you." He called. When she didn't answer, he turned and slowly walked back into the room. "Elena?" He asked, heading to her side of the bed. He looked down at her peaceful sleeping body and smiled to himself, covering her in the sheets.

Since he was already up, he threw a pair of jeans on and made his way downstairs, pouring himself some bourbon. It was 3am, but he didn't care. He opened the bottom draw on his bourbon table in the parlour and pulled out the little black velvet box he had been admiring for the past month. He sat down next to the fire place in the parlour and opened the little black box, fiddling with the ring in his fingers. Damon hadn't been sappy or thoughtful since 1864 and he was having great difficulty figuring out how and when to pop the question. Honestly, he thought Elena would be fine with a simple proposal at home. He was more scared of rejection. He knew Elena loved him to bits, but if she wasn't ready for marriage and he asked her at the wrong time, he could ruin everything. It didn't matter whether Elena was 170 years old or 20 years old, sometimes you're just not ready. Damon didn't think he'd ever be ready, until a few months ago. He just hoped she was ready. Damon could wait forever for Elena, but if she'd never be ready, what did that mean?

He'd been trying to push all his negative thoughts down and just think of ways he could propose, but it wasn't easy. All he could come up with was dinner. That's it. Not even how he would do it, just where. He was pathetic at this. He decided he finally needed some help. Stefan was staying at Caroline's, so his only option was Ric. He'd be good at this right? He had proposed three times. He pulled out his phone and dialled his friend.

 _"Hello?"_ He answered, sounding like he was just woken up.

 _"Hey Ric. I need your help."_ Damon replied.

"Really Damon, right now?" He asked. "I was sleeping."

 _"Yes now. I didn't know friendship had a bedtime."_ Damon joked.

 _"What do you want?"_ He grunted.

 _"You know how I was going to propose to Elena?"_

 _"Yeah."_

 _"Well I don't know how to do it, and I thought you'd be able to help me since you've done it three times."_ Damon explained.

"I think I'm retired in the romantic department buddy. Go ask Stefan." Ric rolled his eyes.

 _"I need you Ric."_ He whined.

 _"Fine."_ Ric sighed. _"Um...do you have a place that is special to the both of you?"_

 _"We've done it a lot of places, Ric."_ He laughed.

 _"Not like that idiot. Somewhere you both went together that symbolises you're relationship."_

 _"Like what? Give me an example."_

 _"God you're hopeless at this."_ Ric mumbled under his breath. _"Like the place you kissed her for the first time or the first step in your relationship."_

 _"Um...well we kissed on the night we met but I wouldn't say it counted as the first time we really kissed. The first real kiss was...in Georgia!"_ Damon yelled, not knowing how he didn't think of it earlier. _"Ric, you're a genius."_

 _"I know. I'm pretty great. I wonder what my exes would call me."_

 _"Nothing, they're all dead."_ Damon chuckled.

 _"Thanks for that."_

 _"What are friends for?"_

 _"Not that."_ Ric exhaled. _"Anyway, good luck with Elena."_

 _"Thanks buddy. Hey if she says yes―"_ Damon started.

 _"No I will not be your best man."_ Ric cut him off.

 _"What, why not?"_ He asked.

 _"Because Stefan should be your best man."_

 _"Stefan's my little bro and even though he's infuriating, I love him, but you're my best friend."_ He argued.

 _"Stefan will be your best man and that's final."_

 _"I was your best man!"_

 _"I don't have a brother."_ Ric laughed.

 _"Ric listen―"_ Damon started. "He hung up on me."

* * *

Elena woke up with her head pounding. She was uncomfortable and sitting up. Her head was leaning against a window and her vision was blurry. When her eyes adjusted, she saw nothing but road. She was in a car. She turned her head to see Damon driving.

"Morning."

"Again?" She asked, smiling. He carried her again. She giggled inwardly, remembering her reaction the first time he kidnapped her. Frantic, hesitant, annoyed. The second time she was calm, collected, ecstatic. This time? Happy, fuzzy, warm. Both times she went on a road trip with him, they made it into her top five memories of Damon and her. Georgia beat the last time by about 0.5% just because it was the first time he had taken her anywhere and it was where they sort of became official. It was their first real kiss. Of course he didn't disappoint in New York, but Georgia was special. Now she wondered where he'd take her this time. "Again, you could've just asked me to go somewhere with you."

"You finally looked peaceful in your sleep. I didn't want to wake you." He smiled.

"Thank you." She smiled back. "Where are we this time?"

"It's a surprise." He stated, glancing over at her.

"Really?" She raised a brow, licking her dry lips as she adjusted in her seat. "I hate surprises."

"Well you'll love this one, I promise." He simpered.

"Fine, I trust you." She smiled softly.

"Good." He smirked, leaning over to give her a quick peck.

* * *

"I feel like I've seen that bar before." Elena mumbled confusedly. As they slowly passed a building she focused on the old arched sign reading _'Bree's BAR'_ in light blue writing. "Bree's Bar." She read. "Bree's Bar." She repeated. "I've been here before."

"You have?" Damon asks, trying not to sound suspicious.

"I don't know when, but I think I've been here. Or at least seen this place."

"Heaps of bars look like that." He shrugged, driving quickly so she couldn't dwell on it for too long. Damon had been to Georgia about seven times by now, once with Elena, and he always took the same dirt road all the way through. He probably should've thought about her remembering the way but he hoped she wouldn't.

"I guess." She pursed her lips to the right, watching his face. She couldn't put her finger on what it was, but there was definitely something off about the way he was acting. Maybe he was just tired? Still, Elena had never seen it before. He was hiding something. Well, he was hiding a few things. 1) That they were in Georgia, 2) that he was planning to propose tonight, and 3) that he was taking her to the same small hotel as last time. She decided to brush it off and try and occupy herself. "I'm bored."

"Let's play a game."

"Okay." She nodded.

"You're human. Five years from now, where are you?" Damon asked.

"Easy. With you." She shrugged.

"Boring." He teased. "I'll need a zip code."

"Ok. Uh, in a loft in Tribeca above the bar that you work at."

"I'm a bus boy in your fantasy?" He asked, furrowing those perfect brows.

"Ok. You...you own the bar," She stuttered. "and when you're not working there, you're...you're on our couch, pouring me wine and massaging my feet after a long day at the O.R. I'm in the surgical residency program."

"Of course you are." He smirked. "Kids?"

"Yeah, of course, eventually, but we should, um, probably have two, you know, so they can keep each other company when we're, you know, distracted by other things." She hinted.

"Hmm." He hummed. "You got it all figured out, don't you?"

"How about you? Your turn. 5 years from now, where are you?"

"We're here." He diverted.

"Where are we?" Elena asked as he pulled up on a random sidewalk. The next turn was that hotel in the middle of nowhere.

"That's for me to know and you to...Dot. Dot. Dot." He smirked, putting emphasis on the _'Dot. Dot. Dot'_ as the opened her door for her.

"Very funny." She giggled, stepping out of the car, remembering Georgia and how he said that to her when they went to that hotel. For some reason everything felt oddly familiar. Like déjà vu. Yes, he said that same line on a road trip they took ages ago as he held the door open for her, but not just that. It was something else. She frowned it off and joined him on the random empty sidewalk.

"Put this on." He told her, handing her a long, skinny, black piece of fabric. It looked like a bandana without any patterns on it.

"Is this the part where you drug me?" She asked, scrunching her face as she looked down at the material.

"Put it on." He laughed, rolling his eyes.

"Really? Being shady again?" She asked, folding the black band, holding it over her eyes and tying it at the back of her head. "Fine."

"Here, hold onto me." He said, linking his arm with hers and leading her.

"So how far do we have to walk?" She questioned, gripping his arm tight.

"Patience, young grasshopper." He joked. "Not far."

"Good." She smiled, following his direction. After about six minutes of walking, they reached the hotel. He led her inside and told her not to move, leaving her sitting on a small bench. She could've easily taken the blindfold off but it obviously meant a lot to Damon and she thought it was kind of fun anyway. After he returned, he led her up some stairs and down some hallways until they reached their room. He buzzed the key card and slowly walked her in, closing the door behind him. "Can I take this thing off now?"

"Go ahead." He smiled. As she pulled the bow on the back of the material and it slipped off her eyes, she took a second to figure out where she was. She gasped as she glanced over at the small single bed in the corner of the little room.

"Now way." She mouthed as she turned to Damon, her eyes finally clouding with happy tears instead of miserable ones.

"Well, there is way because we're here right now and—" He started, interrupted by a pair of long arms squeezing him tightly.

"Thank you." She breathed, looking up at him.

"No thanks necessary." She smirked, leaning down to catch her lips.

"Thank you, Damon." She simpered, stroking his dark locks. "I needed this."

"Don't mention it." He stated, letting his hands travel to her waist as he dipped his head to reach hers again.

"You drove me to Georgia to stay in a hotel for one night." She stated. Last time it was a question, but this time it was more of a praise. "I love you."

"I love you too." He grinned. "There's a restaurant downstairs. I booked it for 6:30."

"You're amazing." She smiled to herself. She really couldn't believe how lucky she was to have Damon in her life. He was literally her other half, and she was happy to say that she was on the final stages of letting go for him. A few days and she'd be completely over it. This pushed her even closer to the end of her theory.

"We have twenty minutes. You wanna go to the bar while we wait?" He asked.

"I have something better in mind." She gnawed on her lower lip, pulling his face back down to hers. She wanted to repay him for everything he did. She wanted to please him and leave him in awe too. But since they were already in a hotel room. She'd be repaying him in a different way. She kicked her leg around his lower back and he picked her up in response, holding her tightly as he lay her down. He stood on his knees and tugged his shirt over his head, her honey hues gazing directly into his cobalt as he tossed it aside. She followed suit, lifting her shirt off the same way. He held her back above the bed and swiftly unclipped her red bralette, leaning down to reconnect their lips.

"You're right." He hummed, biting his lip as chocolate met sapphire. Her hues darted to his as he moved onto her chest. "This is better."

"Definitely." She exhaled, threading her fingers through his knots as he sucked the skin at the top of her panties. Her eyes fluttered back as he slid them off, grazing a wide strip across the middle of her with his tongue. "Damon, we don't have time for that."

Without words he stood up and dropped his jeans and boxers to the ground, quickly returning to the small bed and stopping at her entrance. As he slowly entered her, she tensed. He started to move and she gripped on to his back. His thrusts built in momentum and force and eventually she was having small spasms. She always had them pre-orgasm. She looked up at him and saw a whorl of emotion in his eyes. She was the luckiest woman in the world to have someone like Damon. Sex wasn't just sex for him. Well especially not since Damon and Elena started having it. It is stuffed to the brim with all his emotions and love and it makes her fall even deeper when he loves her. Deeper than with anyone else. The deeper he plunged into her the deeper she fell and it was so hard to do anything. To take control. No, he had all the control and he loved her so deep that she couldn't reverse the roles no matter how hard she tried.

He moved his hand to her face to keep the two hues aligned and her body began to rapture into bliss. She moaned against his ear, her nails ripping through the sheets as he hit that spot.

"God," She huffed as she released everything. He followed shortly after, slowing down to still as he pulled out. "I love you."

"I love you too." He heaved. "We should go."

"Yeah."

* * *

Damon and Elena headed downstairs to the restaurant he had booked. He had reserved a booth and they had already ordered their entrees.

"What do you want for dinner?" He asked, swallowing a huge sip of bourbon nervously. What they did in the room half an hour ago definitely gave him a confidence boost, but he was still extremely nervous. He was about to ask the most important question he could ever ask and it scared him. Sure, he knew she loved him but that didn't confirm that she'd say yes. Nothing ever would. So Damon was scared shitless.

"Eggplant parmesan looks good." She smiled, looking down at her menu. He smirked to himself, remembering that _'first date'_ they had at the clock tower ages ago when Elena could only think of one food that was healthy that she liked; eggplant. "What?"

"Nothing." He shrugged. After a few moments of silence, he started to feel anxious again. _'What if she says no? What do I do? Should I wait? No I came all this way. Stop being a pussy.'_ He repeated in his head. For a second there he didn't feel nervous, but it didn't last long. Again it was eating away at him. He needed to ask the god damn question or it would kill him before the end of this dinner. _'Fuck it, it's now or never'_ . He decided to ditch the rest of his plans and go for it. It'd be the same answer in the end, right? Not knowing was killing him. "Elena?"

"Yeah?" She answered, looking up at him all doe eyed. _'Get it together Salvatore.'_

"Um..." He trailed, looking down at his empty glass nervously.

"What?" She asked, raising a perfectly trimmed brow. She could tell he was very anxious, but she had no Idea why. "Damon, whatever it is, tell me."

"Here goes." He whispered. "Elena, you are my life. You know that. And...I couldn't imagine a world without you. I met you in the dark and you lit me up. I've never loved anyone so deeply before and I never thought I'd find someone who is even worthy of comparison to you. I never thought I'd be asking anyone this question."

"Damon." She glared at him. She knew what he was about to ask her and she was hoping to god that he didn't. If he asked her that question, everything would be ruined. She was so close to forgetting about all the bullshit but he just needed to wait a little longer.

"What I'm horribly failing at, but trying to say is..." He started, pulling the little black box out of his pocket and kneeling on the floor. Usually he would think this is pathetic, but he didn't care for once.

"Damon, I-" She shook her head. Fuck no. Please no.

"I want to be with you for the rest of my endless life. And I know this Elena, I love you. And I will love you until I take my last breath on this Earth. So marry me?" Damon asked, opening the box to reveal a white gold band with a huge rock on it. Elena looked straight down at him from her chair. Expressionless on the outside but filled with emotions on the inside. At first she was overjoyed. Spending eternity with Damon was everything she'd ever hoped for. But the problem was; remember how she said her theory was like ice over a lake? When the ice melted the clear water would escape. Yeah, well now, there were only tiny little ice cubes in the lake and hearing those beautiful words made the process reverse when it was so close to being over. The ice cubes that were about to melt completely, were now freezing again.

That theory was literally the death of her and now it had fucked everything up. _'I have control.'_ she told herself. _'I do.'_ she told herself. But this stupid theory was screaming in her mind saying _'don't do this to him, you know it's going to end and you'll ruin him worse than last time. you'll ruin you too.'_ Why? Fucks sake. Fucking why did she have to be like this. Why did she have to make all her decisions based off of one dumb idea that she made up in her darkest time. She wanted so badly to scream _'Yes! I do! I love you. We're forever.'_ but this theory controlled her. She couldn't physically get those words out. What was worse was that he took her to her favourite place, in the most significant way possible, poured his love into her less than an hour ago, and she couldn't say those simple words she so desperately wanted to. she had never wanted anything more than to say those three words.

A surge of pain jolted through her body filling her with darkness and heartbreak. She could already see on his face, he knew. He knew she wasn't going to say yes. But he didn't know she couldn't physically do it. He was hopeful at the beginning of the minute, but now, he knew she wasn't going to be his wife. Why? Because now he knew she hadn't forgotten about that theory and now she knew that too. Even if she wanted to, it wouldn't go away.

Humanity is nasty and there are no silver linings. But for a different reason. Because humanity and this world gave Elena and Damon this shit-hole of a turnout. Because Elena's humanity, made her leave him behind. Because Elena's humanity was the death of any silver lining she had. Because Elena's humanity was nasty, and it made her ruin him. Now he was ruined and it was all her fault. No matter what she did, she'd hurt him. Before she could hurt him more, she sped away. Where? She didn't know. He took her to Georgia and proposed to her and she literally left him without anything in return. Well, she did leave him with more and more hurt. But this wasn't the end for Damon and Elena. No. Damon and Elena are never forgotten till the world ends and the stars fall down from the sky. Elena Gilbert needed to fight this on her own. It wasn't going to go away by itself. She learned that the hard way.

* * *

 **I know you all hate me! Don't worry we are literally near the end of the book! I have to fix it don't I! I'm a sucker for happy endings! Elena will fix this in the best way possible! Please don't be discouraged to read now. Next chappie is way better and is THE LAST chappie! So I have to fix it! So keep reading! Dw there will be an EPILOGUE too! two more weeks :O**

 **P.S. Next week I'll be posting on THURSDAY because I'm away with no wifi all week next week until then! Sorry :((**

 **Please review! Thank you to all the reviews xoxox**

 **I WILL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!**


	22. Till Death Do We Part

**Hey guys! Again, sorry I didn't post on Tuesday! I was away and just got back today :)**

 **ALSO, TODAY IS MY BDAY! YAYYYYY! I'm 16 :))))) Ironic that I'm posting the last chapter of this book today huh? That's right. It's the last chapter. DW IT WILL BE EPIC! And I will be posting an EPILOGUE next week!**

 **Lastly, READ MY AUTHORS NOTE AT THE BOTTOM FOR SOME NEWS!**

 **Lets go from where we left off! Enjoy :)**

* * *

It had only been three minutes since Elena left Damon in that little restaurant. Three minutes since she sped away from him as he proposed to her. She didn't make it far in those three minutes and frankly she didn't know where to go. She hurt too much to move any further. She leaned against an old tree and cried like she never would again. Why was she like this? Even she didn't understand herself. The one person she wanted was stripped away from her. _'No,'_ She thought. ' _this is my fault. It's my idea. It's my mind.'_ But if it was her mind, why couldn't she say yes? Why couldn't she run into his arms and kiss him and tell him she'd be his forever _till death do they part_?

"I'm letting it control me." She breathed aloud. All she needed to do was resist it. It wasn't too late. It had only been three minutes right? Still, it wouldn't be so easy. They say when you make the biggest decision in your life, everything that matters will flash before your eyes. Like a reel of video tape showing you the highlights and the lows. That didn't happen. Elena was hit with one memory. The one that could sway her. It was the one memory she didn't think meant that much to her. Yes, it was the first time Damon told her he loved her, but she had ruined it so it wasn't one of her favourite memories. She never really thought about it when she thought of Damon. It was the hidden one that would be her final factor in letting go.

 _***She walked out of the bathroom carelessly and bumped into Damon._

 _"Hey, you." She giggled._

 _"Hey, you." He smirked. "You look stunning if it isn't obvious."_

 _"Not too bad yourself." She smiled back. She made him so happy. His life was really horrible until she walked into it and Elena always seemed to make him forget about past problems, helping him focus on something much better. Her._

 _A slow song started to play. "May I have this dance, Miss Gilbert?" He joked, bowing._

 _"Why or course you may, Mister Salvatore." She replied as he offered her his hand. She took it and let him lead her._

 _When they danced everything was perfect. It became obvious to Damon that they were meant for each other. Every piece of her, it just fit perfectly. Every second, every thought, he was in so deep. Truthfully, so was she, but she'd never show it on her face. He however, was making his love for Elena blatantly obvious to everyone other than Elena herself._

 _"Nice moves." She grinned as she rested her head on the stiff planes of his chest._

 _"Well it would be a shame not to share my talents with the world." He boasted. She sensed him smirking and she chuckled._

 _"You are an amazing dancer." She smiled against his warm pecks._

 _"I love you, Elena."***_

"I love you too." She cried, rubbing all the makeup off her eyes and onto her cheeks. "It's my choice!" She yelled, kicking off her heels. She sped back to the restaurant and made her way to the table they were at. He was gone. She ran up to a waitress and gripped her firmly. "Where did the man on that table go?"

"What man? Nobody dined at that table tonight." The woman smiled. Elena let her go and sped back up to their room.

"Damon?" She called, kicking the locked door down. She quickly scanned the room and Damon was nowhere to be found. The room was in immaculate condition, like it had just been cleaned. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Fuck. Where was he? She tried calling his phone, and wasn't surprised when it rung out. Then she called Caroline.

 _"Hello?"_ She answered.

 _"Caroline, hi! Are you at home?"_ Elena panicked.

 _"Yeah, why?"_ She asked.

 _"Call me if Damon comes home. I'll be there soon!"_

 _"Wait why—"_

 _"Bye."_ Elena hung up, speeding downstairs and hopping in the first car she found.

"Hey that's my car!" A man yelled, chasing after her.

"Sorry!" She called. She had never driven this fast before, but she didn't care. She chose Damon. Nothing in the world mattered more than finding him right now. _'It's not too late'_ She repeated in her head as she sped down the highway. That theory was long gone and it didn't take much for her to fight it. If she knew all she needed to do remember the first time she knew she loved Damon, she would've done it ages ago.

* * *

Elena rushed through the door as soon as she made it home. She ran upstairs and checked all the rooms. As started to search downstairs, Caroline stopped her.

"Hey, there you are—Woah, what happened to you?" Caroline asked.

"Long-story-that-I-don't-have-time-to-tell. Has Damon been here?" Elena rambled.

"No." Caroline answered.

"Shit. Can I use your car? I-stole-a-car-and-I-think-the-cops-are-chasing-me-and-I-don't-have-the-energy-to-compel-them."

"Woah, woah woah. Slow down. You're not making any sense." Caroline laughed. "Did Damon propose to you yet?"

"What? how did you know?" She asked. If Caroline knew then he had been planning it for ages. Shit. Why? She had fucked up beyond all fuck-titude this time.

"Oh shit he didn't."

"He did—" Elena started.

"Yay! You're getting married!" Caroline squealed.

"Caroline—"

"I'm so ready. I've already picked out some dress options and—"

"Caroline—"

"The cake has to be huge and—

"Caroline, I said no!" Elena yelled.

"What? Why?" Caroline asked, her face dropping.

"Well I didn't say no, I ran away. Look I don't have time to explain it right now. I need to find Damon."

"What? YOU RAN AWAY?! Elena what the fuck! Poor Damon!" Caroline squealed.

"Yes I ran away! I know I'm a fucking idiot! What can I say? I'm trying to fix it now!" Elena cried.

"Well you can't go find Damon looking like that." Caroline calmed down, pulling Elena into her arms.

"I need to find him now. I don't care about what I look like." Elena shook her head.

"Well I do. You're going in the shower, while I think of ways you can make it up to him. He's not going to forgive you just like that."

"Fine." She frowned. "Not that it's a problem but since when do you care about Damon?"

"Since I realised how much he loves you. I knew he was going to propose about a month ago, when you two were having that fight—hey Elena?

"Yeah?"

"What was the first thing that told you, you were in love with Damon?" Caroline asked her, just like she did Damon a month ago.

"I don't know. Why?"

"Think."

"Well, maybe...it's literally the most basic indicator of love ever, but what did it for me was when we first met, I felt like I could trust him straight away. In a few weeks of knowing him, he'd become my best friend and I always wanted to tell him things. It was probably when I realised, whenever something happens, he's the person I want to tell." She explained.

"Lets get you cleaned up." Caroline smiled, leading her upstairs.

* * *

 _"Bonnie pleaseeee!"_ Caroline begged, running her nails through her blonde ringlets.

 _"I don't even know if she wants to see me."_ Bonnie argued.

 _"She does. She needs her best friends right now."_ Caroline whined.

 _"What if she tells me to fuck off or go away?"_

 _"Then at least you tried."_ She shrugged. _"Pleaseee?"_

 _"Mmm...alright. I'll be over in a few."_

* * *

Elena stood in the shower scrubbing every little bit of dirt and makeup off. Caroline was right. If she was going to go find Damon she needed to clean herself up first. She was thankful that Caroline took her to Damon's room. But without him in the shower with her, she felt alone, empty and depressed. She ruined them, and she needed to fix it. She had finally completely erased all traces of that stupid theory from her logic. Maybe it was a good thing he proposed early and she ran away? It helped her see she only wanted him and she could let go. She just needed to want him enough. But how was she supposed to fix it now? Damon was always too nice with her. She didn't even know how he trusted her to stay with him half the time. He deserved more than just and apology and she needed to give that to him.

As she she stepped out of the shower, she heard a few voices in the room. She got changed and went to check it out.

"Hey Caroline who's—Bonnie?" Elena questioned, blinking at her several times to see if she was real.

"Hi." She smiled softly.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, looking at Caroline confusedly.

"Caroline told me everything. I came here to support you." Bonnie smiled at her genuinely.

"I thought you hated me." Elena stated.

"Elena." She frowned, pulling her into her arms. "I'd never hate you! I'm sorry for everything. I was wrong for dating your ex and I was definitely wrong for blaming you for my pain."

"No I'm sorry. I was so hung up on jace that I didn't see the harm in erasing your memory." Elena squeezed her.

"I missed you so much." Bonnie croaked.

"Me too."

"We good?" She asked.

"Of course we are." She grinned. Elena pushed everything past her. Bonnie had been with her through thick and thin and she didn't even want to sort it out. One small apology and they were good. She wished it were that easy with Damon.

"That's it? You two stayed away from each other for a month and now you're best friends again?" Stefan asked, leaning against the door frame.

"Girls can't live without their girlfriends." Caroline smiled. "I knew you'd make up as soon as you saw each other."

"Anyway, I heard you stood my brother up." Stefan turned to Elena.

"Yeah..." She trailed.

"So why are you sitting here?" He asked, raising a brow.

"I don't know where he is."

"Have you tried calling him?"

"Of course I have." Elena scoffed, a bit offended that Stefan would even ask that.

"What about calling Alaric?" He questioned. Elena felt her cheeks go red as she immediately pulled out her cell phone and dialled Alaric.

 _"Hello?"_

 _"Hi, ric. Is Damon with you?"_ Elena asked, nervously. No doubt Damon had told his best friend.

 _"No."_ He deadpanned.

 _"Ric?"_ She huffed.

 _"Fine, yes."_

 _"Put him on."_ She demanded.

 _"He won't want to speak to you."_ He sung, walking away from Damon slowly. The less Damon knew about the conversation the better. Hearing the mere syllables of her name weakened him.

 _"I know, but I need to talk to him."_ She sighed.

 _"Because I can't stand seeing him like this, I'll tell you where we are. We're at the Grill."_

 _"Nice hiding spot."_ She giggled slightly.

 _"Well you didn't find him, right?"_ Alaric laughed. Elena was actually surprised she didn't think of the Grill earlier. It was pretty much Damon's go to joint when he was sad.

 _"True."_

 _"He's drinking so I can keep him here but you'll have to be quick or he'll catch on."_ Ric explained.

 _"We'll be there soon. Bye."_ She hung up.

"Ready?" Caroline asked her.

"As I'll ever be."

* * *

Elena knew she had to make it up to Damon and all her friends' ideas were solid, she just didn't think they'd make him forgive her. How does one even forgive that? She promised him she'd forget about her theory, made him think they were forever and then ran away from him when he declared his love. Now she saw that no theory was worth more than Damon. Nothing was. Nothing ever would be. He had become her world. She revolved around him like the moon, and everything she did was influenced by him. Now she saw that, she needed to make it up to him. It was not going to be easy, but she was willing to work hard to get him back. Whatever it took.

"So what are you gonna say to him?" Bonnie asked, stepping out of the small car as they pulled up in the parking lot of the _Mystic Grill_.

"I don't know yet...I guess I'll just say what I feel when I see him." Elena smiled nervously.

"That's something Damon would say." Stefan laughed.

"He really has changed you." Caroline smirked.

"Yeah."

"We'll be right here if you need us." Bonnie offered as they walked in and took a seat near where the band was playing.

"Thanks guys." Elena smiled softly, slowly stepping away from them. She darted her eyes across the bar, and there he was in the corner. Drinking bourbon with Alaric. Her face dropped as she noticed how he was smiling through his pain. She hadn't seen that Damon since he told her about Katherine. How was she supposed to do this? She stopped a few metres away from them and swallowed hard, fiddling with that blue stone necklace Damon gave her when they went camping. Usually she didn't even notice it was there. It was like another part of her body.

As she glanced back at her friends, she noticed the band was finishing their song. Then she had an epiphany. Every relationship had a moment where either person shows how far they'd go for the other. This was her defining moment. This moment would define how far she'd go for Damon.

She pivoted on her heel and spun towards the stage. She jumped up onto the wooden elevation and quickly grabbed a microphone. As she looked to her right she saw her confused friends pass her the _'what the fuck are you doing'_ face and she knew what she was about to do would maybe even be crazy enough to get Damon back.

The band singer tapped on her shoulder and whispered; "What are you doing?"

"Um...I don't really know." She mumbled. "How do I turn this on?"

"I'm curious, so I'll let you have my microphone." He smiled, handing it to her. She smiled briefly and slowly edged to the middle of the stage. She usually wasn't that nervous, but then again, she usually wasn't declaring her love to someone on a stage in front of heaps of people.

"Damon?" She swallowed as the crowd all turned in her direction. "Damon Salvatore?" She called, glancing over at him. He had turned to look at her and it only made her ten times more nervous, but she kept her eyes on him. "It's taken me a while to tell you exactly how I feel inside. The words seem so simple right now, but they took a while to find." She continued licking her chapped bottom lip.

"What are you doing?" Damon mouthed as he focused on her. She nodded him off and kept going.

"I used to believe no one on this world gets a happy ending. No one gets a silver lining at the end of their bad patches. No one wins. No good. Just bad to stretch across the world. Then, I met you. But you weren't just any person, you were just like me. You were hopeless and tormented and had been through the fiery pits of hell like I had and even as a stranger you understood me. Immediately we became friends and I promised myself it would become nothing more. I was on a few missions; 1) to avoid love at any cost, 2) to help you, a damaged person I felt sorry for," She started, never breaking the connection she had to Damon's eyes. She was looking right into them and she could tell the last thing she said cut him. Deep. But she had to say it. She was sick of lying to him and pretending. No secrets anymore. "and 3) to deny myself any feelings I realised I had for you. That got a bit harder when you opened up to me like no one ever had. You showed me the roots of you when everyone else was only allowed the surface. I used to think it was simple accident that you chose me. That I was just there so you decided to vent. But two souls don't find each other by simple accident. When we found each other it was like everyone else fell away, and it was just the two of us. Literally me and you against the world." She smiled as she noticed a small grin growing on his lips. "I stuffed up so many times and I don't know why you put up with it. It guess when you love someone enough it's worth it, but I see now that I didn't understand how much you were worth to me until it was too late. I guess what I'm trying to say and horribly failing at is...I need you like...like the sky needs the stars. Every time I'm slipping away from myself, your the one that pulls me back up again. Every time the darkness falls around me, I can feel you move beneath my skin. Even when you're yelling at me, I still think you're beautiful. I don't know where you end and I begin." She smiled widely at him now. He was grinning too. "I know you think that I think our love was a mistake, but if that's what it is then I don't want to fix it. When I ruined us, and I realised you might have been gone for good, I understood that I couldn't replace you with a million dreams. You're one of a kind and I was so lucky to even come close to you." She continued, feeling her eyes become wet. Not the tears. Not the tears. "I walked away from you when you poured your heart out in front of me. But now I realise when it's real you can't walk away. And we're real. We might be messy and complicated but...we're real. You may not wan't me back, but even if this cruel cruel world is saying we can't be, we both have the right to disagree and I'm not with it. All I've done is live in the past, but if the past is a place without you and me together, then lets stop living in it. I'm with you. I love you." She confessed, letting a small tear escape. She saw his face light up and it just killed her. She did it. He still loved her. She got the guy. "So...if you'll still have me, I do." She concluded, turning the mic off. The crowd roared for her and she felt proud of herself. Not because people loved it, but because she finally moved on and was happy. She stepped down off the stage into the sea of people. While she was talking they all stood up and gathered round and now she was trying to find her way to Damon. She stepped on her tip toes to see where he was but he was gone. Where could he go? Maybe it wasn't enough? She immediately started to panic and pushed towards the front door. If he left, she'd catch him in time. She wasn't giving him up.

He searched for her in the sea of people just like she did and when he didn't see her, he reacted the same way; panic. He was close to the back door, so he pushed towards it and headed out, running back up the side of the street.

"Excuse me. Sorry. Pardon me." Elena smiled stiffly as she shoved people aside. As she made it to the front door, she speed-walked out of the Grill, colliding with a solid chest and falling to the ground. She batted her lashes at the floor as she covered her already healing wound across her elbow. The man coughed and offered her his hand and she was awoken from her trance. She accepted, dusting off her knees with her palms.

"Sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going." He apologised with a husky voice, picking up her purse. She didn't answer him or apologise politely — like she should have — in return. She couldn't. Her body was physically stopping her from opening her mouth or moving. Her jaw was locked. He was standing right there in front of her. His face merely inches from hers. "Elena." He stated, gazing at her with his stunning baby blues as he handed her the purse. Her jaw unlocked when his bourbon breath impacted her rosy cheeks.

"Damon, I'm sorry—" She shook her head slowly.

"I forgive you." He interrupted, pulling that little black velvet box out of his pocket. "Elena Gilbert, just marry me." He stated.

"You only live once, right?" She smiled widely, giving him her hand as he slipped the ring on.

"Once or twice." He smirked, leaning down to reach her. She immediately threw her arms around his neck and kissed him back. She knew now, she'd never leave him. She'd love him, till death do they part. And he'd love her too.

As he held her close against him, for once she was completely happy. No negative thoughts at all. Just Damon. All of him. Although she was still thinking about silver linings. She was thinking about how she found hers.

* * *

 **Dat's it! Hope you enjoyed the book! Please leave me reviews still and give me your opinion on the ending xxx STAY TUNED FOR EPILOGUE SOMETIME NEXT WEEK!**

 **Thank you all for reading and supporting me. I really appreciate it.**

 **I'm thinking of starting ANOTHER FIC! Message me and tell me if you'd like that and please feel free to give me some ideas and suggestions! I know a lot of you have wanted to read DE fics with certain scenarios and they haven't been written yet so tell me them and I might MAKE YOUR DE FANTASY COME TRUE!**

 **Still see you next week xxx**

 **\- Jasmine.**


	23. Epilogue: New Theory

**Here it is! The epilogue! I'm sorry it's late! I said next week but I've been staying at my cousins and they have no wifi or anything. Ikr it's so sad. So I haven't been able to post even though I finished this!**

 **Anyway, I decided it'd be about 2000 words since it's not like another chapter, it's kind of a fast forward into their married life six months in. READ MY MESSAGE AT THE BOTTOM! ITS IMPORTANT! Thank you all and enjoy!**

* * *

She made her way up the stairs after a long day at the hospital. Shifts usually ran till 5pm but today she asked for early leave. It was her six month marriage anniversary with Damon and she wanted to prepare a small dinner. They had agreed they would go out for their one year. six months would be simple. She knew a small dinner, some candles and cuddling on the couch would be perfect.

She decided to take the back stairs up to the loft, since Damon didn't know she was coming home early. To her expectation, he wasn't there. He was still downstairs managing the bar. She knew she had about three hours before he would come upstairs, so she got changed into her baby pink silk camisole and matching shorts, not bothering to put her underwear on underneath.

She tossed her nurse scrubs in the wash and made her way to the kitchen. She heard her phone buzz on the table, and quickly answered the FaceTime request from Caroline.

 _"Elena!"_ Caroline squealed, waving into the camera.

 _"Hey Care!"_ She waved back. _"How's it going in Mystic Falls?"_

 _"Same old. Stefan's getting impatient_ _with me being all suspicious."_ Caroline sighed.

 _"What are you supposed to do? Tell him you're planning him a surprise party? He'll get it once he sees what you've planned for his birthday."_ She giggled.

 _"Yeah I guess."_ Caroline laughed.

 _"Is that Elena?"_ Bonnie called from the other side of the room.

 _"Hey Bon!"_ Elena grinned.

 _"'Lena we miss you!"_ Bonnie whined.

 _"I miss you guys too!"_ She frowned. _"Bon, why do you_ _have sex hair?"_

 _"She was probably_ _getting down and dirty_ _with Enzo."_ Caroline joked.

 _"I was not!"_ Bonnie defended. _"Fine, I was."_ She giggled.

 _"When's the wedding?"_ Elena asked, winking through the screen.

 _"Enough about me,"_ Bonnie changed the subject. _"when are you coming to visit?"_

 _"Um...I have some leave from work in about two weeks. Damon and I can visit for a week? I'm sure he can get someone to manage the bar."_ Elena suggested.

 _"Yay!"_ Caroline squealed.

 _"'Lena we have to go. We're going to the beach, but we'll talk tomorrow. Bye!"_

 _"Bye guys!"_ She hung up. She loved talking to her friends every day. It was like they were still with her. She wouldn't be gone for long anyway. Vampires remember? They'd have to relocate in a couple of years. Maybe they could go back to Mystic Falls? They could probably alternate between Tribeca and Mystic Falls. Five years either way? Not that she was thinking too far ahead.

She put her ' _feels_ ' playlist on shuffle and opened the pantry, trying to figure out what to make. She was never a great cook, but maybe she could pull something together just once. For Damon.

She pulled out some pasta, tomatoes and salt and figured that would be all she needed to make spaghetti. She grabbed a pot, filled it up with water and placed it on the stove, dumping the pasta in with it. She took another pot, and placed three full tomatoes in it, sprinkling it with salt. That would do right? She had never cooked an actual meal in her life, unless microwaved food counted. Not that she needed to, but it would've helped to have some knowledge kitchen wise.

If her food didn't turn out, she had to do something to make tonight special, so she'd set up a candlelight theme near the fireplace.

She danced around the small loft on the balls of her feet as she sung along to ' _Bloodstream_ ' by Stateless. One of her favorite songs. Why? Because it reminded her of the first weeks she met Damon. She smiled, it echoing through her head as she grabbed some scented candles out of a draw.

 _I think I might've inhaled you_  
 _I can feel you behind my eyes_  
 _You've gotten into my bloodstream_  
 _I_ _can feel you flowing in me_

As she lightly hummed the words, she felt him envelop her. His scent was seeping into her skin as he got closer and closer. At first she thought it was just the song getting to her as it usually did, but when she felt his warm hands collide with her waist, she knew he was there.

"Hi." He hummed against her ear. "What are you doing home so early?"

"I was preparing dinner, but now you ruined the surprise." She giggled as he tightened his grip around her waist.

"You can cook?" He smirked.

"No, but I tried." She sighed, leading him to the kitchen.

"What the fuck is that?" He laughed as he peered over the pot.

"Spaghetti?" She smiled weakly.

"Elena." He sighed. "This is penne, not spaghetti, you need to crush the tomatoes first, and salt isn't the only ingredient you add."

"Like you could do any better." She scoffed.

"Is that a challenge?" He simpered, edging closer to her.

"No." She bit her bottom lip, pulling him against her by his neck collar.

"Why? Scared I'll win?" He asked, slipping his hands under her silk camisole as she jumped up onto the kitchen bench.

"I know you'll win." She giggled against his jaw.

"You're not wearing a bra." He pointed out, changing the subject as his fingers laced the curves of her chest. He slowly shifted his hands out and under her thighs, gliding his palms against them as he sucked on her neck. He lifted his hands higher, underneath her silk shorts. "You're not wearing panties either."

"Why are you complaining?" She questioned, her breath hitching slightly. They'd been together for over a year and married for six months, and Elena still shivered when he touched her. The smooth velvet of his voice sent her right into an inescapable trance. She was and forever would be enthralled in him. And she loved it so much. She loved him so much.

"Not at all." He cooed against her locks. He continued to suck on her neck until deep purple stained her skin.

"Damon, you're giving me a hickey." She moaned. "I have work tomorrow. What if someone sees?"

"You're a vampire baby, compel them." He breathed, moving onto her jaw.

"Damon." She mumbled, as he made out with her jaw.

"What?"

"Do you smell smoke?" She asked, pulling back.

"Shit." He laughed, detangling Elena's legs from his waist and attending to the weird concoction she had put together. All the pasta burnt, and the tomatoes were black — not that they would've been any good anyway. He threw the pasta and tomatoes in the bin and began to wash the pots. "I'll make dinner." He chuckled.

"That failed so bad." She giggled, pinning her hair behind her ear.

"Yeah." He smiled, pulling some fresh tomatoes out of the fridge. "You go sit down, I won't be long."

Elena nodded and made her way to their bedroom. As she walked past their cupboard, she nicked the edge and a box fell down.

She bent down to pick up the box she knocked as her thigh healed slowly. She lifted it onto her knee to keep it up, noticing a pale green book underneath one of her old t-shirts. She took it out and put the box back, smirking as she realised it was her diary. She hadn't written in it since Damon proposed. She ran her finger over the engraved 'E' and decided she had to write an update.

 _Dear diary,_

 _It's been a while. To be honest I kind of forgot about you. Sorry, I've been so busy. I saw you in a box and I thought I should write an update. It might even be my last one. At least for now._

 _The last six months have been incredible. Damon and I had a small beautiful wedding in Mystic Falls, before we moved to Tribeca, New York. On our second trip to Georgia, Damon asked me if I was human, where I'd be in five years time. I said in a loft in Tribeca above a bar he owned, while I worked as a doctor. Even though he couldn't give me the human or kids part, he recreated my fantasy and we moved almost instantly. No five year wait. We knew we'd have to move soon, due to the whole vampire thing, but we'd overcome that obstacle when it came. We occasionally visit Mystic Falls too. The last six months have been the best of my whole life._

 _I have a new theory._ _Another theory about silver linings._ _First, I'll give you some background._

 _Humans have simple lives. They're born, they live and they die. They have ninety or so years to find the one and have the life of their dreams. But after you pass fifty, you don't have the best chances._ _In most cases, everyone gets a silver lining._

 _Vampires are different. They are born human, they live human, they die human and then they live again — only they're dead._ _Vampire human relationships don't have the biggest chance in working, — unless the human is turned — but either way, a lot of things have made me believe, anything is possible. vampire vampire relationships on the other hand, tend to have a better turnout. Not only do you have infinite years to find that person — your silver lining — but you get to spend eternity with the one you love. I've heard that most find theirs in their human lifetime, and take that person with them into their vampire life._

 _Mine was different. I found someone — Damon Salvatore. But you already know that. He was and is, more than a silver lining. He's my salvation. What makes me want to live forever. He came into my life when I believed I had no shot at a silver lining. That I hadn't and never would capture mine — because I missed it the first time. In my human lifetime. But I was wrong. So fucking wrong. Without a grey ruined sky, there's no silver lining. I had to earn mine._

 _My theory is that; humanity is nasty and picks randomly who gets happy endings, but if you hold on long enough it grants you one. Vampires are a product of that. Each one of us has eternity to find 'the one', meaning however long it takes, we make it there. Humans are on a timer. When the sand hits the bottom of the hourglass, that's it. They're fucked. But we have forever._ _The thing is,_ _it doesn't matter how late you_ _capture_ _it, it will always find you. It took me over 100 years to find him, but my silver lining, my Damon, was more than worth it. I would wait 100 years more, if it meant I'd get to be with him._

 _So, I'm_ _happy. Fina-fucking-ly._ _I_ _swear the universe was against me, but true love prevails. Universe be damned._

— _Elena._

She grinned as she shut the small green book she had just written in and stood up. As she walked into the kitchen she was gobsmacked. How was she so blessed. Damon had set up pretty much what she wanted to, and failed at; a beautiful candlelight setting and a gorgeous dinner. She felt a smile twitch at her lips and she noticed he had put on their wedding song; Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran.

"There you are." He grinned.

"What is this." She pursed her lips as he slowly walked over to her.

"A song." He nodded sarcastically, threading his fingers through hers. "Our wedding song actually. Don't you remember—"

"Of course I remember." She rolled her eyes. "This song makes me want to dance with you."

"So dance with me." He smirked, pinning a stray hair behind her ear. He placed his hands on her waist as she placed hers on his shoulders. They swayed to the music in the most beautiful rhythm. She kept her chocolate hues glued to his cobalt as he guided her around their living room. He twirled her seamlessly, and as she curled back into his chest, his lips crashed on hers. They moved together in sync as he bent down and picked her up bridal style, laying her down on their sofa.

"Promise me this is forever." She whispered as he kissed her collar bone softly. He pulled away from her neck and looked straight down at her with all she ever wanted. Love, adoration and passion.

"I promise." He nodded slowly as he pressed his lips back onto hers.

* * *

 **HOPE YOU ENJOYED the final piece of this story. Thank you all for reading and reviewing. If you liked or loved the way I ended the book or just the book in general, please review! Even though it's finished, I love feedback! And I really appreciate it!**

 **ATTENTION! I MOST LIKELY WILL BE WRITING ANOTHER DELENA FANFICTION! But only if you want me to. So please if you want me to, review or direct message me, either on or my tumblr blog; delenagas-m. Also, if you have a DE fantasy that you've always wanted to be a fanfic, please tell me and I might do that for you! PLEASE GUYS I'M SO BORED I WANT TO WRITE ANOTHER ONE!**

 **Thank you all xxxxx**

— **Jasmine**


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